It's time to talk about it

We are all human beings. We all deserve the same basic, civil rights.

Dana has been posting lately and finding some great blogs about same-sex marriage. I'm not here to talk about same-sex marriage specifically. I think it's important to express your beliefs while treating others fairly.

A few years ago (seems like forever and a day), a young man visited my home from Ukraine. I was just finishing my first year of college when he came to our home. The experience of meeting him opened my eyes to a world of diversity and love.

People are different, yet we are all very much the same. We all want to survive, we all feel hurt when others inhibit our rights, and we all have connections with others. Andriy, the young man from Ukraine, opened my eyes more than I could have imagined.

My parents brought me up to respect others. No matter what social, religious, ethnic, or political views others may have. I look at some parents today trying to teach their children diversity. I've seen people tell their children, "You can't say that. It's wrong to say that." What I respect and admire about my parents is that whenever they would see behaviors in public of people using blind hatred to hurt others, they didn't just say, "You can't say that." My parents explained to me that the behavior was wrong for more reasons than the behaviors being 'socially unacceptable.' They explained that it is not only wrong to say it, but wrong to think it. It was shown to me early in life that judging someone by their skin, religion, or sexual preference was wrong. They never said that one can't hold a grudge against another person, just that the grudge needs to be justified. If someone hurts you, you have a right to be upset with that person. How you choose to react is one thing, remember to keep a perspective.

I enjoyed Andriy's company while he stayed here. I cried when he returned home to Ukraine. What I learned from the experience of knowing him was that people are not that much different. Here was a man who was my age but grew up in a completely different environment. He watched the Cold War end, democracy come to his land, and watch his country form when he was 13 years old. When Communism fell, it wasn't happy days for the people of the Post-Soviet States. People had to learn how Democracy works. This might push a couple of buttons, but Communism is not all that bad. When there are corrupt leaders use the system to oppress people, it turns out poorly. But in Communism, everyone is considered equal. Every family has a home. Every person has a job. Every child receives an education. Every family gets the food they need to survive. It takes away the differences in economic structure. Now, this goes against the American Dream, and I'm not saying I'd like America to be a Communist nation. I'm just saying that when Communism fell, there were a lot of people forced into change that they were unprepared for. It was a tough time and I admire those who went through the turmoil. Andriy is one of my heroes.

Spending time with Andriy showed me that I could make a friend with anyone in the world. No more do I look at another country as the political structure that governs it. I see other countries as made up of people not so different from myself. People who have hopes and dreams. People who care about their friends and family. People with different cultures and customs that have come from the interactions of people. Where does culture and customs come from? They weren't here before people were. It's how people treat each other that becomes our culture. I have a strong set of values that form my beliefs. I believe that all people deserve fair treatment. I believe that all human beings deserve the same civil rights.

The current topic of civil rights is same-sex marriage. Here's my questions and thoughts about the matter.

Why does society/government feel the need to keep finding another group of people to discriminate against? Think about it. My mom told me that in the 70's, there was a speaker (whose name I do not know) she admired. One speech she remembers (30 years later), was called, 'We always need Indians.' (Granted, I never heard the speech, I don't know the speaker, and I'm relying on the recollection of a secondary source. I might be a little off on the title. But the meaning is still the same.) This speech was directed towards women's rights. The thing is, it will always be relevant. When this country formed, the colonists tried to oppress the Native Americans. This group of people were considered savage and dangerous. Once the Native Americans were not the 'big problem', blacks were treated poorly and forced into slavery. Our country has taken steps to changing it's ways. We now have protected groups that only need protecting because people were stupid to begin with. And you know what, we need to have protected groups. Because people as a whole are stupid and don't think before they act.

I digress. Back to the speech. This speech pointed out that white men ruling the country have always needed to find a way to feel superior and people are hurt by their actions. Native Americans, African Americans, women, and the disabled have all fought their battles for the same opportunities that should be inherent. Why should a human have to fight for the right to speak up for themselves? Fight for the right of equal treatment? Fight for the right to love and express your love?

Someone told me that they were against gay marriage because it goes against the definition of marriage. I looked it up. In Webster's New World dictionary, the definition states: "1. the state of being married. 2. a wedding. 3. a close union." Wedding is defined as: "1. the marriage ceremony. 2. a wedding anniversary." I think he was talking about his religious beliefs. Now, I'll admit, I don't go to church. I am not the expert on theology. I'm not an expert on politics, or anything really. What I can say is that this country was founded on the belief of freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and freedom from oppression. Since we can pick our religion, why should it be a factor in deciding laws? Just because one person's religion speaks differently about a subject, does that make that subject wrong? That's faulty logic if you believe that. Should a religious belief be the deciding factor in deciding the rights of all Americans? I don't think so.

Think back into history. Who are the men that come to mind when you think of poor human beings? Do you think of Hilter or Stalin? Why do we hate Hilter? Because he murdered people based on their religious beliefs. He had people murdered because they did not fit in with his ideal society. Those who were not murdered were tortured, punished, and oppressed for their beliefs, ethnic origins, sexual preferences, or disabilities. And if you ask around, people have a low opinion of Hilter. I want to ask the political men trying to oppress civil rights to same-sex couples if they would like to go down in the history books for holding the same views as Hilter.

I think same-sex marriage is something that will happen. People are going to fight on both sides of this issue, but think ahead 50 years. What will the children of tomorrow think when they read how long it took for society to recognize homosexuals as equals? It's the fight of today. It's a fight that needs to happen. Looking at similar fights from history, is there any doubt that this fight will be won with same-sex marriage being accepted? Making laws against same-sex marriage won't silence the population. There is a want and a need for equal treatment, equal rights, and that will not go away. It shouldn't go away. The fight will go on until the just action is taken. Who are the parties making this harder than it needs to be? It's not the gays and allies of gays. It's the politicians and narrow-minded individuals who think they are better than another human being because of their own preferences. It's a battle of blind hatred being fought all over the country. And the world.

I tried to discuss this generally and logically. Now I do want to mention something. I know two different same-sex couples. These couples are very different from each other and I love all the parties involved. They are my extended family. I want the best for them and I see no reason for them not to be treated the same as myself or the other people in this country. My friends are the most important thing to me. I will stand up against oppression not just because of them, but my resolve will be strengthened by the fact I know them and love them. They made my inherent beliefs a personal experience. And they have shown me that standing by is not the right thing to do.

On a side note, to the random guy I overheard calling my best friend a derogative term while sitting with a group of his friends (a couple of these were women). My words to him: "Wow. You should think before you open your mouth. I understand that people have different views and you apparently have narrow-minded views. What I want you to understand is that you're discriminating against someone based on the way they walk and look. If I were to do that, I would say that you are an egotistical man who doesn't value the respect of others. You have now shown the group of people you are with how stupid you are. What are these women now thinking? I know I would be thinking, 'He just showed his blind hatred to a random stranger behind that person's back. What does he think of me? Why am I spending any time with this jerk?' Think before you speak. For your own sake."

Okay, I know this was a long post. And the train of thought wanders back and forth. The main think I'm trying to say is to get the guts to share what you believe. You might find that others share some of the similar views. And talking about it will promote the discussions that need to happen. Diversity is good. It's what has promoted change throughout history.

1 Comments:

At 1:30 PM, CarpeDM said...
Yes, it was long. But it was beautifully written and I really enjoyed reading it. I love your parents.

I'm so glad you're my friend, Brooksba. Let's go kick some narrow-minded ass.