Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Who names their child after a musical instrument?

As promised, I am now posting the letter my dad's cousin sent this year for Christmas. She sends a letter similar to this each year. Each year, our family sits around, reading the "update" she gives, trying to understand these people that we never see. I haven't seen my dad's cousin since I was 13, so it is odd to hear about certain details.

Just a note, I changed the names. The child's name is closer to what her real name is than I want, but it's just too funny. The author of the letter is my dad's cousin, whom I will call Janet. Her husband is Rich. My own thoughts are in italics. Finally, I do appreciate Christmas letters, it's just this one that I find so humorous each year.

"Christmas is right around the corner and we are certainly in the hustle and bustle mode. The tree is decorated and music fills the air with a variety of Christmas favorites. I'm glad they're not just listening to Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer over and over. It's a variety!

Mandolin is 12 1/2 and in 7th grade at Vacuum Middle School. She is in the Symphony orchestra and was chosen to participate in the Chamber orchestra which is a small group of 6th, 7th and 8th graders. They performed concerts at a couple of the retirement centers during the holiday season. Mandolin is also one of just a few 7th graders from Vacuum chosen from the Midwest to perform in a Children's choir. The concert is April 1, 2005 in [insert city here]. Are we invited or something? Hey, I haven't seen you for your entire life, can I come to hear a bunch of children sing in another state? I'm sorry, I already went to the mall and heard some other random kids sing. In early September, a cute little stray kitten wandered to our house. Mandolin named her Mandy. This is the point I turned to my mom, hey, do you want to write them back and tell them you found a random stray cat and considered naming it Goddammit? (Mom did end up naming the kitten Smoke. She also had it neutered but decided against declawing the kitten. She didn't like that idea.) Mandolin enjoys hanging out with friends, with a name like Mandolin, do they all think she can play a Spanish Tune?, shopping and playing her violin. She also enjoys playing with Mandy. During the summer, Mandolin helped Mom and Dad on the farm with sweet corn and Farmer's Market. Mandolin and Janet even made the front page of the Courier as they busily assisted customers buying sweet corn. Oh, great, now she's referring to herself in third person. Joy!

Janet has completed her 22nd year at Vehicle Mortgage Company. As a Client Relation's advocate, she deals with Customer problems/complaints on a daily basis. Yes, she capitalized the word customer. This is just wrong. Here's the thing, dealing with customer problems or complaints on a daily basis sounds like she's a phone representative. Can someone really do that job for 22 years?!? The job keeps her quite busy. Well, I guess that's why the company pays her. The green house was up and running February with various types of hanging flower baskets and perennials. By May, Farmer's Market filled whatever spare time Janet thought she might have had. We had a good market season which was cut somewhat short as Rich encountered some heart difficulties during planting season which landed him in the hospital on more than 2 occasions. Was it 3 occasions? Our family was a little stunned at the casual nature of stating, "My husband had a heart attack." This seems like it should be bigger news. He now is equipped with 3 stents in his main artery, 3 stents in his left artery and had balloon angioplasty to open the lower artery. This is going to sound mean, but we're friends right? You won't hate me for this, will you? Oh, hate me if you will, but I really want to scream, "Go Go Gadget Heart!" I know this is wrong. But the guy is okay, healthy now, and I have a warped sense of humor.

Rich continued his world travels in mid-August as a trade representative/negotiator for the US government. He has a government job and has heart problems? I thought those were the jobs they gave to people who didn't actually work. He has traveled to Germany, Singapore, Hong Kong and Brazil as his major ports of call. Side trips have taken him to Thailand, Cambodia and Viet Nam. He is currently responsible for 19 counties. I bolded that because I think she left out an "r". A few too many for one person. He leaves again for Hong Kong the day after Christmas for 14 days.

Luckily Rich was home during pumpkin season. Oh, did he shoot one? I remember when I bagged myself a pumpkin. I tracked it all morning long through the forest. I think the neon orange jacket helped to summon the pumpkin towards me. The moment was quick, but I was prepared. In the heat of the moment, I gently squeazed the trigger on my shot gun and I was right on target. I got it! It was a bit hard to carve, you know, with that whole side missing. But that pumpkin didn't get away from ME! This year was extra special with the birth of our new baby llama, Fabio. What? They have llamas? They live in Iowa. Why do they have llamas? He is a spitting image of him mother, Melinda and provided much enjoyment for all of us. I'm thankful that he's not a spitting image of Mandy. That would be hard to explain to Fabio's father. Also, I am typing exactly what she wrote, hence the bold again. We are expecting baby goats later this winter. Not good timing but they will have a warm place in the greenhouse after they are born. And plenty to eat! Oops, there went next year's Farmer's Market. The weather was a little less than desirable with cool temperatures and rain but we had a successful pumpkin season none the less. Halloween day was beautiful and we spent the day selling pumpkins and tearing down the displays and haunted houses as Rich was off again November 4th.

It doesn't look like we will have a white Christmas this year but the cold weather has finally settled in and it feels like winter. We wish all our friends and families a very Merry Christmas and a safe and healthy New Year in 2005.

Rich, Janet and Mandolin"

I hope you got as much amusement out of the letter as my family did.


At 2:41 AM, freindship thought...

i see ur blog.
it is very nice
go and see my blog.

At 9:00 AM, CarpeDM thought...

"Luckily Rich was home during pumpkin season. Oh, did he shoot one? I remember when I bagged myself a pumpkin. I tracked it all morning long through the forest. I think the neon orange jacket helped to summon the pumpkin towards me. The moment was quick, but I was prepared. In the heat of the moment, I gently squeazed the trigger on my shot gun and I was right on target. I got it! It was a bit hard to carve, you know, with that whole side missing. But that pumpkin didn't get away from ME!"

Oh, my God, you are hilarious. This whole post was great.

Keem and I dropped off pictures today. We are looking forward to Friday/Saturday! See you soon!

At 4:17 PM, srmc thought...

Oh my that is just too funny.

My family will get a letter every year from an old family friend. Her letter always makes her family out to be better than everyone else. We get a good laugh every year. LOL! Then my mom and I discuss how we would have worded our letter back as we never seem to measure up.

At 8:47 PM, Matt thought...

For some reason all I could hear while I was reading this post, which is just excellent by the way, was Bruce Hornsby singing "Mandolin Rain" over and over again.

Ahh yes, the dreaded pumpkin season. They do need to be hunted down and destroyed don't they? No wonder Perkins has that wallpaper up that shows a pumpkin hunt from the Colonial days........tehy are tricky bastards aren't they?

I can't i magine beig a phone banker.....I am sorry phone represenitive for 22 years. I would have gone insane by now....oh wait, I already am.

Loved this post, really did. My question for you is this, what is so weird about having a llama in Iowa? Now if they had mentioned that they have Alpacas, that would be weird. Could you imagine if they mentioned that they are using chinchillas on the farm to help the pumpkin hunt? That would have had me in stitches. Oh well, I guess I can see why the llamas are so weird now.

I will talk to you later Little Sister, have fun moving people at work.

Big Brother

At 7:01 AM, Lala thought...

So what's her real name? Fiddle?

At 2:00 AM, brooksba thought...

Hi Lala,

The name sounds just like mandolin. Actually, think of it as: A Mand"a" lin. That might give a better picture. It's just something we laugh about as a family.


Girls Night Out

After work tonight, I went to IHOP with four of the bankers from our team. Three of them are mothers and the fourth is married, but has no children.

We sat in a big booth, laughing and telling stories. I have to share one of the moments from the evening that had us in stitches. Granted, we were all tired from working all night long and the sugar (from the syrup) went straight into our brains, but I found it funny.

Char: I have a story about my roommate. He doesn't have a lot of friends.
Me: What's his name? (I have no clue why I ask for these type of details, but I do.)
Char: Matt.
Me: Nat?
Kelly: Gnat? With a name like that, you can see why he wouldn't have a lot of friends.
Maria: Did his parents hate him?
Me: Is it Nate?
Char: No, Matt.
Me: Oh.
Kelly: That makes more sense. What kind of name is Gnat anyway?
Char: Like Nat King Cole.
Maria, Kelly, and I (in unison): Ooooh, yeah.
Char: So Matt, ...
Corrie: Is that short for Nathaniel?
Char: No, it's short for Matthew.
Me: I think I'm going to start calling my big brother Nat. (Okay, not going to do this.)

Char did eventually get to tell her story, but we had just been having a blast already and we made it goofier (is that a word?).

A manager filling in at IHOP comes over to the table (at this point, it was just Char and I).
Manager: Do you girls mind if we sit over here and verbally women bash?
Char: You've already opened your mouth as a jerk.

He proceeds to tell us that he thinks his girlfriend is an idiot. My question is, "If she's that stupid and you think she's that stupid, why are you with her?" He obviously doesn't respect her. He kept coming over to our table to talk to us. It was quite strange. When we were leaving, he felt the need to tell us that he makes $8 an hour. Now I wonder if his girlfriend is the primary source of income to his home. Maybe that's why he's with her.

Sitting with mothers (one who is pregnant right now), I can honestly say, I'm freaked out about EVER becoming pregnant. I heard more about epiderals, water weight, stretch marks, and birthing than I ever needed to.

We also had a conversation about the recent earthquake and resulting tsunamis. It was a sad moment, thinking of the loss of human lives. The entire thing is quite scary. We talked about how Minnesota is a pretty decent place to live. Even though it is extremely cold, the worst that ever happens is that it gets cold and it might snow. Every once in awhile there is a minor flood or tornado, but there is usually some warning to this (well, unless it's a flood of butter, I don't know how one can prepare for that). The cold even helps kill off really big bugs. There is only one poisonous spider in this state and it can't even bite people because its mouth is too small. Sometimes, when I walk outside to -20 degrees, I think, "At least we don't have really big bugs." This makes me feel better. It also makes me feel better to know that this week has been warmer than last week. I'm happy to see the thermometer displaying 24 degrees. When I saw the -12 on my car last week, I almost cried. And that was without wind chill. 24 degrees feels like a heatwave. I like that.


At 7:31 AM, CarpeDM thought...

I'm glad you had fun last night. I ask for these details because I get tired of people being referred to only by their "titles" (my roommate, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, etc) and want to put a more personal touch to the story. Not that'll I'll remember the information but it shows that I care. Maybe. Oh, hell, I have no idea why we do it.

"You've already opened your mouth as a jerk." I like Char.

Ooh, you make 8 dollars an hour? Ooh, you talk to strange women about how stupid your girlfriend is? Wow, I want you already.

Since I talk to people from all over the country, at least once a day I have someone say to me "You're in Minnesota? What's the temperature there?" Yesterday I spoke to this man who responded to my "Oh, it's about 20 degrees here" with "It's only 55 degrees here." Only 55 degrees. I've just told you that it's 35 degrees colder.

This is the same guy who says "Oh, I used to be from Wisconsin and our Green Bay Packers beat your Vikings last Sunday."

Dude. Enough already.

At 2:26 AM, brooksba thought...


Are you calling Char and I strange? Just kidding. =)

Do you own the Vikings? I'm shocked. I never knew that about you. Why don't you share these things with your friends? Maybe you could explain football to me then. Oh wait, please don't.

What causes them to ask, "You're in Minnesota?" Are you talking about doing "warsh"? Okay, I'm in silly mode right now.

I was talking to Char again tonight about that guy from IHOP. I think what was said was, "That guy was really f-ing weird, wasn't he?" The reply, "Oh yeah, really, REALLY f-ing weird." I love Char. She's just great. She's like you. Great.


Monday, December 27, 2004

Random Bits of Conversation (Or DM and Beth scrapbook and enter the land of insanity)

On Christmas night, I went and picked up DM. She came back to my place and we scrapbooked for a bit. After playing with paper, we decided to play a few games of cards.

DM wrote many of the random conversations that resulted of us both being giddy. Read about them here. It is funny and we both realize how strange we truly are now.

One of the conversations to be shared was written in my notebook, not hers. Here it is:

B: Coke makes me burp.
D: I like brussel sprouts.
B: Ow! It tastes like burning!
D: Ah shit, I have to pee.

DM wanted to share something about herself when I shared the fact about Coca-Cola. She didn't mean for it to sound quite as random as it did, but it did. And then we were already in the strange giggle mode.

Here's also a random moment, but not from DM's visit. On Christmas Eve, I was working. I brought in meatballs for those who were stuck in the building for the day. Since the crock pot was full of meatballs and BBQ sauce, I wanted to stir them. Run into the problem now. I forgot to bring a ladle to stir the meatballs.

Since I needed a ladle, I walked around asking everyone if they had one. A man entered whom none of us recognized. This was odd especially since we're in a secure building. I don't know how he got in. He was delivering office supplies though. He needed me to sign this PDA for him to deliver the items.

Here is where Beth manages to scare the innocent delivery man. I say, "Do you have a big spoon?" He looks at me with huge eyes and quietly whispers, "Um, no. Sorry." Then he wanders off. The entire group of bankers around me burst out laughing. I don't mean to do these things, they just happen!


At 7:18 AM, CarpeDM thought...

I keep wandering around asking men if they have any duct tape. They all say no. And then they laugh. Because they know I want it to fix my coat. And I ask one of them this every day.

They all tell me they have duct tape at home. Why is the duct tape not here? Where is my Joe (News Radio Joe. With the duct tape. Now Fear Factor Joe (Just in case there was any questions about which Joe I meant) when I need him?

Pet Peeve

DM and I went to karaoke on Sunday night, as usual. We left a little early due a problem of mine, which is feeling much better today (I'm sure DM wanted the update).

Last week, a man focused his attentions on a certain area of my body while stroking his mustache over and over. Quite disturbing? Yes. This week, he showed up again and sat with us. Now, he's a nice enough guy, I'm just not interested and I'm a little creeped out with his staring.

He comes in last night as DM is singing. He says to me, "It's Elizabeth, right?"

Here starts the beginning of my annoyance.

"It's Beth. Just Beth." (On my birth certificate, it only says Beth. It's not a nickname.)

"Well, I got four letters right!"

Time goes by and then it's time that DM and I are going to leave.

He says to me, "Take care Elizabeth." With this, he cemented his membership in the "If I can never talk to you again, I'll die happy" club.

Being called Elizabeth is a huge pet peeve of mine. Other pet peeves? Being hit at work. People chewing on soda bottle caps. These are the biggies. Is this too much to ask?


At 7:48 AM, CarpeDM thought...

You know, I can almost understand what he's thinking. He probably wants to stand out as the guy who uses your full name (or what he thinks is your full name) because there have been documentated cases* of women meeting a guy who calls them by their full name and falling head over heels in love with the guy because he says their name in the way that they've been wanting someone to say their name in all of their born days. And then he comes in and calls them Elizabeth instead of Beth or Kimberly instead of Kim or Dana Marie instead of Dana they will fall to the ground, prostrate with love. Because he imbues new meaning to their name.

So he thinks he's being oh so different from the average guy you meet and now you will want him forever more.

He just doesn't realize he's being thwarted by several things.

1. Your name is not Elizabeth. It's Beth.
2. You hate being called Elizabeth.
3. He looks like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. And because I know you haven't seen Napoleon Dynamite, I will provide you with a link so you can see what I'm talking about. Kip is the one in orange. (
4. A Scottish accent, while cool and all, is not enough to get over the whole moustache stroking, Elizabeth calling, cleavage staring, Kip looking fiasco that is this guy.
5. I would rather see you date Pete than this guy.

I'm glad you're feeling better. I fixed my blog.

At 10:38 AM, Firebear thought...

I can agree with this in that my name is Larry not Lawrence. It seems incredible how some people can not understand this. You don't assume Judy is short for Judith do you?
I still stand on that it is rude to stare at anyone's cleavage and stroke anything with out permission. Or aleast a tip.
Kip may not have looked cool, but he ends up with Lafawnda and I am sure she re-trained him. I am impressed that I know how to spell Lafawnda.
My questions.Do you get hit at work alot? I know the banking business can be tough (I once worked as a teller, long story there) but I did not know it was that rough.
Chewing on bottle caps? Like plastic bottle caps? Aren't those kinda big? Or are we talking about metal bottle caps?

At 3:51 AM, brooksba thought...

Hi Larry,

At work, I've been hit in the back of the head, slapped, bitten, punched, and had candy hit me in the small of the back. Most of these are jokes (like the biting, that was just a banker biting my shirt and I tease her about it all the time ("Watch out for her, she bites.")) One of the managers has apologized to me twice for hitting me (the candy incident and once when he thought it might be a good idea to take a tube and smack me in the back of the head). We horse around at work and sometimes it gets taken too far. The manager who hit me is one of the best managers I've ever worked with (wow, that sounds like I've worked with really rotten people, doesn't it?) and he's learning. He's just a lot of fun and forgets he's at work sometimes.

The bottle caps I'm talking about are the ones for the 20 oz bottles. I can't stand the sound that the texture of the cap makes against teeth. I also have problems with people touching holographic pictures (you know that rough material?). It hurts my entire being. I have no problem with fingernails on chalkboard, but that type of surface just makes me hurt. When I lived with Adam, he had a habit of chewing on bottle caps. I had explained to him that I couldn't handle that sound (while having the entire body shakes). He did it again (on accident) and I almost lunged across the living room to rip the bottle cap from his mouth. Lucky for him he noticed the evil glare I was giving him.

I hope that helps explain.


At 7:15 AM, CarpeDM thought...

After noticing that she forgot to add her footnote comment, she returned to her friend's blog.

*Documented cases was used loosely. It is a technique I have seen used in a few romance novels. The heroine always falls for the guy who is different.

Which, yeah, it could be cool if he was that one guy who made your heart sing everytime you look at him. And, oh, yeah, if your name was actually Elizabeth.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Goody Two Shoes

At age 26, I can finally admit to myself that my high school days were spent discovering my inner nerd. I can look back and smile at memories from that part of my life. I can also see how much of a nerd I truly was.

Last June, a girl that I work with brought in her yearbook. She was just about to graduate and she was excited to be getting out into the world. I was flipping through the pages of her book and saw a guy posed for his senior picture. He had a lizard on his shoulder. My first thought was "OMG, this poor guy! He’s going to be remembered for all time as the guy who really liked lizards." I may have been a dork in high school, but no where in my senior yearbook is a picture of me with a lizard.

In high school, I lettered nine times. That’s cool, right? Hardly. I was intelligent enough to never purchase a letter jacket. I’m so thankful I never did that. I would have been laughed out of the school. My awards were for bowling, academics, and choir. I was a hip girl. Yeah, right.
DM saw my senior pictures, the ones that don’t end up in the yearbook, and had a great laugh. To start, I didn’t realize that the place taking my picture would have my feet in any of the shots. I dressed up for the pictures. I wore a nice sweater for a few poses and I had two different blazers for the other poses. The poor choice in clothing came from my decision to wear the most beat-up pair of white Nikes I had ever owned. The shoes stuck out like a sore thumb and I thought my mom was going to kill me when she saw the proofs.

The shoes are bad, but the fact that I had convinced myself glasses were the look for me didn’t help my cool factor any. I wore a pair of glasses for my junior and senior years of high school. They were round, John Lennon style, except they weren’t small like the John Lennon style. They took up my whole face and made my nose (which I hate) appear even larger. Did I need glasses? No. That’s the whole thing. I don’t actually need prescription lenses to see. I have 20/20 vision in one eye and 20/25 vision in the other. At least I did back then. I don’t know what it is anymore. So I didn’t NEED glasses, yet I chose to wear them to make myself "cool".

The final candle on the cake of Beth’s nerdy senior pictures was the fact I decided a prop should be used for a couple of the poses. Now, I’ve seen some senior pictures that benefited from the use of another object. It can be fun and helps present an idea of what that person was known for in their school. I have a couple of old pictures of friends and I was looking through them to find which props they used. One of my friends used textbooks (she went to post-secondary school during high school) in one picture. In another picture, she posed with her car. That would have been rather cool if she had a cool car. Unfortunately, her car was not all that great. Another friend posed with her flute. Yet another friend posed with the high school play t-shirts and sweatshirts for each of the shows she had worked on.

What did I use as a prop? I was known for academics, choir, and bowling. I posed for pictures with my bowling ball.

Are you done laughing yet? I am so embarrassed to look at these pictures today. They are pretty decent proof though as to whom I was in high school. I have changed significantly since that time and it is for the better. I hope at least. I don’t wear tennis shoes anymore. I don’t wear glasses anymore. I still enjoy bowling, but I don’t even belong to a league anymore. In fact, I haven’t been bowling in almost a year. I think it had been two years prior to that one night that I even walked into a bowling alley.

A couple of years ago, I went to my five-year high school reunion. I did not actually want to go, however my best friend from high school wanted to go and I said I’d go with her. She brought her fiancée. I brought Adam. I brought a gay man to my high school reunion. I don’t care in the least what any of my former classmates thought of it. He was my roommate and fun to hang out with. I spent much of the time of that reunion hanging back, avoiding the people I was supposed to be talking with about our lives. The looks of surprise on a few people’s faces when I opted for an alcoholic beverage were amusing.

The thing is, I wasn’t really that much of a nerd in high school. I had an image in the school that didn’t make it far outside of the building. I got along with the people from my school just fine, but my free time was spent with people I knew from outside the high school. Many of my friends went to different local high schools. I hung out with a crowd from the bowling alley. I know bowling sounds like a lame, safe sport, but the people who were in my leagues did not fit stereotypes. There were parties in high school that I still wouldn’t share with my mother. Most evenings were innocent enough, but they were fun. I didn’t hang out with people who did math for fun. The group I associated with had one philosophy in life. It was to laugh and have fun. That’s what we did.

Going to my reunion showed me what others had thought of me. What I realized after seeing their opinions of me was that I hid part of myself from them. I didn’t know why I did when I was in the school, but I was glad I did. I never had a need for the girl who treated my friends like they were losers to know that I enjoyed parties or hanging out like she did. I never needed the jock to know that I stayed out late on Friday nights like he did. I didn’t care what these people thought of me. I know I just stereotyped a few people and I still don’t care. They stereotyped me and automatically assumed I didn’t know how to have a good time, just because I was on the honor roll. When I look back on my high school years, I don’t think of the people I walked down the aisle with to get our diplomas. I think of the group of friends I had from the bowling alley and I smile. A few of these went to my school and we had our own inside jokes. None of the other got the jokes and that made us feel special.

I can look back now at the pictures of my youth and laugh. I can see what image I gave to others. And you know what, I’m glad I had my pictures taken with a bowling ball. It reminds me of happy days.

Pictures of myself in high school to be posted soon (well, as soon as I get around to scanning them).


At 8:56 AM, CarpeDM thought...

You do realize that Goody Two Shoes is going to be stuck in my head for the entire day now, right?

This was a good post. I enjoyed reading it.

I completely get what you mean about people taking one aspect of your personality and that being the only image they have of you. I was on the yearbook and newspaper committee, not quite cool but I knew who everyone in the school was.

I don't think I would change any of that.

At 10:54 AM, Firebear thought...

There is a photo of me in my high school year book wearing a tri-cornered, Paul Revere type, hat.
I also had a leather cowboy hat and a baseball hat with flaps to cover my neck in the back.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Gift Giving

I officially survived Christmas with my family. To be fair though, I like my parents and my mom's boyfriend, so it wasn't something I didn't think I'd have a problem doing.

This may sound strange to most people out there. My parents got divorced 4 years ago but we still get together for the holidays. My mom's boyfriend, Scott, gets along wonderfully with my dad and the evening just feels natural. My mom buys gifts for my dad and my dad buys gifts for her and Scott. My dad even got presents for the cats and dogs!

It was a DVD Christmas for the family. I got a gift certificate to pick out some movies from my dad, four movies from my mom and Scott, and I gave a bunch of DVDs. I thought my mom was going to cry when she opened up the Mary Poppins movie. We used to watch that movie repeatedly when I was young. It may have been my first time figuring out that I loved penguins.

My dad had a moment when he opened up Scrooged, starring Bill Murray. This is another holiday classic movie our family consistently watched as I grew up.

Besides the movies, I got a couple of cool things. My mom got me some new PJs and a couple of T-shirts. My dad gave me "America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction". That's right, it's the Daily Show with Jon Stewart book. It looks like a high school textbook and what I've flipped through to see is hilarious. It's full of satire and sarcasm.

There is a "Timeline of Democracy" in chapter 1 and I lost it. A couple of snipets:
-May 3, 325 B.C. - Rome built.
-30 A.D. - Death penalty debate heats up after controversial execution of alleged "Son of God."
-1347 - Black Death kills 1 in 3 Europeans. Leech lobby touts 67% success rate.
-1492 - America discovers white people.
-1687 - Using calculus, Newton estimates that 1 man = 1.00423 votes. History proves him startingly accurate.

I do enjoy this book.

My mom also sent me home with goodies. She made caramels (Yum!), Chex Mix (the way I love it - pretty much Rice Chex and pretzel sticks), and Rice Crispie bars. And she sent me home with her chicken salad (Yes!) and gave me some cheese to give to DM. My mom loves to give people cheese. She does work for a dairy producing company.

The best part of the holidays at home? The reading of the annual Christmas letter my dad's cousin sends out each year. This will be a post, in and of itself. It needs to be shared, but I haven't typed it out yet. Believe me, you'll get a kick out of it. I will also post some stuff about my mom and the pets. I have to upload the pictures I took as well. I don't like cats much (I'm just more of a fan of dogs), but that kitten is adorable. Mac was also fun to see today, until he threw up on my boots. That was kind of gross. Okay, more than kind of. It was gross.

Well, I'm just waiting for DM to call me back. We're going to hang out all night, probably scrapbooking and watching movies. I have some new ones to watch!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas day.


At 2:29 AM, CarpeDM thought...

You know what's weird, that I'm commenting on your Christmas while I'm sitting at your computer. That's just strange.

I am glad you had a great Christmas with your folks and your mom's boyfriend and Taco, Chip, Mac & Smoke. Can't wait until you post the pictures.

I am not watching Two Brothers. You know the previews always made me cry. Do we really want to watch a movie together that I will be sobbing through? Oh, right, you saw Troy with me.

Anyway, I must get back to scrapbooking!

At 12:29 PM, Matt thought...

I must say that the part of the book that you shared was hilarious, especially the part about the alleged "Son of God" and that Newton was able to prove the fact about man and voting, that was excellent. I am glad that you had a good christmas, I hope that it extends to the new year as well. Hope to see you soon, take care and be good.
Big Brother

Friday, December 24, 2004

A Wish of Peace, Goodwill, and Great Friends

Although 2004 seems to be the year I revolted against the holidays, I find myself sitting here thinking about all the good feelings I get from this time of year. I wish everyone a season filled of love, friendship, and peace.

This got me thinking about great friends. I love my friends. They are my family I got to pick.

One thing I found interesting about my friends and have to share. I realized that DM and I refer to things we are doing as "we". I noticed that when I comment on sites that DM and I both visit, I write, "We [verb]..." If someone didn't know us better, they would think that DM and I both had multiple personalities. I've caught DM doing it too. And you know what, it makes me feel good. It's great to have a friend as wonderful as DM. Hey, she faked an asthma attack to get me away from Pete. How can you beat that?

In thinking about New Year's resolutions, I think I'd like to resolve to spend more time with Keem this next year. I like seeing her on our Friday nights at Fridleykins. We need to do more fun things. Keem is one of those friends I'm so glad to have. I'd love to share more stories about Keem. You'd love her just like I do.

A special greeting of warm wishes to Matt. You are the best big brother I could have ever hoped for. Thank you for the year of laughs, tears (even if the tears were from bad things, I enjoyed your company and all of your help), and sharing.

Happy thoughts to all those I have met through blogging. I am so thankful to have met Lioness. I can't wait to hear about your adventures in Canada and also when DM and I visit you in April.

I also started thinking about Christmas and what it means to me. I am not a religious person. I have beliefs similar to Christian religions, however; I don't agree with the churches I've experienced. I think that Christmas to me is a time to show those you love that you care for them. I think it's a time to reflect on what makes life wonderful. I think it is a time of humanity. I wish Peace and Goodwill to All. It's not about religion to me, it's about caring for others. That's what makes us the human race.


At 5:32 AM, The Lioness thought...

I am happy as well, v much so. But I thought you were going to go for my real name now? ;D

At 10:01 AM, Anonymous thought...

What you are describing as Christmas is exactly what Christianity is, or at least should be, all about: love, caring for others, peace, goodwill. Unconditional love is what God offers us. "Religion" on the other hand is another thing. I've never commented before, but I do enjoy reading your blogs. Merry Christmas!

At 12:14 PM, CarpeDM thought...

Merry Christmas to you as well, Beth!

I agree with you about the relgion thing. That's one of the reasons why I don't go to church anymore. I believe in God and Jesus but not organized religion.

You're right, we do that a lot with the "We" in comments. Hmm. See, I just did that again. However, in my case, as Queen of the Universe, it is the royal We. I don't know what you think YOU'RE doing.

Although, I suppose, as my daughter, you would be the Princess of the Universe. Which just sounds silly. We'll have to think of a better title.

Mucho love (practicing on my Spanish before we go to see Johnny. Because Spanish will come in SO handy in Portugal) and I'll call you later!

At 12:33 PM, Matt thought...

I also enjoyed your company, as I always do, because not only are you my Little Sister, you are also my friend, and a very good one at that. Well you know my feelings on Christianity and religion and whatnot, so I will not waste the time to type it here, but I hope that next year brings us more fun and more bonding as human beings and as brother and sister. Take care Beth.
Big Brother

What a Blast!

Have you ever had one of those days where everythingwas funny? I have just arrived home from a night just like that.

Today started off normal, I got up and went to work. Our team had meetings galore tonight and of course, this put me in a silly mode. I spent much of my evening dancing silly dances, clapping my hands, and saying, "Yea!" over and over. Can you believe I get paid for this?

After work, I met my big brother, Matt, at Fridleykins for a couple rounds of cards before we decided to get our last minute Christmas shopping done. This was the first year of my life that I postponed ALL of my Christmas shopping until Christmas Eve. I am actually proud of myself for this. Every year, I start early and this is okay, except for the fact I don't stop. I tend to go overboard each year and my plan was to wait until the last possible minute, since then I couldn't keep buying gifts for the same person over and over.

While at Perkin's, Matt and I had what we now refer to as "our sleazeball" moment. For some random reason, we both did the snapping of our fingers and then pointed at each other. There was the greasy smile and Matt even complimented his actions with the lifting of one eyebrow (a skill I wish I had). Then there was the "Hee, hee he ha!" laughs we each gave. No reason for the moment. The fact we did it at the exact same time was also amusing.

Here is a conversation from Perkin's:

B: They rock!
M: Do they rock ass?
B: They don't rock ass. You can suck ass. An ass sucker is feasible. It's almost impossible to be an ass rocker.

Did I mention that we're both mentally ill? I'm pretty sure everyone around us thought that tonight.

After our two games of Liverpool Rummy, Matt and I headed up to Wal-Mart. It's cold outside. My car tells me what the temperature is and we looked in horror at the gage. -12 degrees. That's cold. I'm starting to dream of a White Christmas, just because it would have to warm up to snow.

I would care to share some of the moments from our two hours at Wal-Mart. I haven't laughed this hard in a little while (since the "How did I end up on a date with Pete?" night in fact). We enjoyed laughing at certain products we found on the shelves. The first being a product called, "Bag Balm". This seems to be some sort of cream or lotion that you put on animals when they are feeding their young. I guess it helps chaffing or something. The next thing I noticed was a product called, "Fungus Clear". This is for fish tanks. It just seemed funny. We made it to the seasonal department and I saw an "Acoustic Electric Guitar". Should acoustic and electric be descriptions for the same item? I think not.

To prove my inner dorkiness, I decided to dance around the store to the different tunes playing overhead. I looked at Matt, who seemed a little frightened (just kidding), and declared, "Wow! I just jammed out to Bon Jovi at Wal-Mart." My little ditty to the MC Hammer song also caused a few looks of fear from other customers.

Matt found a toy from the movie Van Helsing. I think the description of the toy should be clear from the quote Matt had, "That's how he took care of Dracula. He ran over him with his monster truck." Who, I repeat, WHO thought creating a Van Helsing motorized vehicle was a good product? Have they seen the movie? There were no cars or trucks in it.

I may have given the clerk checking us out nightmares. Since it is cold, (VERY COLD, did I mention that?) outside, I declare that functionality totally outweighs fashion in Minnesota. I was wearing a sweater with a hoodie sweatshirt over it today. Plus my coat. But the hoodie makes me look like the Unabomber. After sharing this fact with the clerk, I made a comment that kids are easier to buy gifts for than adults. Matt disagreed. I said, "Yes they are. I was always happy with the liquor bottles my mom gave me for Christmas." This was a complete joke, but the clerk looked stunned.

I got all of my shopping done for my parents (the only people I need gifts for right now, the Sheepsheadians do exchanges in January) and ended up purchasing a couple of CDs for myself. Well, five actually. But they are so cool. No one would be purchasing music for me and these CDs would not actually be on the top of people's lists to get me. What did I get? I'll tell you in a couple of days. I want to surprise DM with one of them first!

One more random moment from Wal-Mart. I decided to purchase a gift for my boss. I looked at Matt and said, "I gotta look at balls." After the shocked look wore off, he asked, "What type of balls?" To which I replied, "Squishy balls." My boss has a habit of picking up different toys from people's desks and I figured it was time he had his own special toys. So I bought him two balls. I know it's immature, but do you know how enjoyable it is to walk around a busy store saying, "Where's the balls? I need to find the squishy balls! When I think of my boss, I think of balls!"

DM is going to hate me for this, but I laughed last night. I was watching Conan O'Brien, whom I love but I haven't watched TV in about two months, and he was doing a bit about cooler Christmas and holiday icons than the Rockafeller Christmas tree. I'm sorry, but I lost control of my laughter when I saw the bungy jumping Baby Jesus. Especially when I saw that the doll had a helmet with antlers attached. Yes, I'm going to Hell. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh, but I did. It's bad. I know.

And the whole waiting to the last minute to prevent myself from spending a fortune on Christmas? Didn't work. I still spent a fortune. But my parents will have lots of movies to watch after the holidays. I'm hoping I can borrow a couple of them!

Be proud of me, I didn't buy the Bon Jovi box set. It's just not cool enough.


At 6:39 AM, Rev thought...

Good morning Beth. I haven't read the entire post as I'm in a rush this morning. I got down to the part about the acoustic electric guitar. It's for real. I own one. It's a 12 string. Glad to hear you're having a joyous holiday season. Merry Christmas and all that stuff.

At 8:33 AM, CarpeDM thought...

Oh, loved the post, Beth. Laughing very hard.

Sleazeball moment, Bon Jovi dancing at Wal-Mart, squishy balls, all classic moments.

But the best, THE BEST, is this quote from Matt:

"That's how he took care of Dracula. He ran over him with his monster truck."

What CD? What? What? Why are you torturing me?

At 9:57 AM, The Lioness thought...

i wanted to leave a cool comment but really, all i can do is beg for someone to shoot me. NOW. PLEASE.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Strolling Down Memory Lane (Can I Turn Back Now?)

I was going through a couple of things tonight, looking for a good story to tell (that will come later in the week) and found my Senior Year book from high school. I have a post in progress (still in the notebook) about my days as a high school student, but that is not this post.

Paging through the book, I laughed at some of the things I had written during my senior year of high school. The things I told myself to remember, the names that are barely a face anymore. It’s odd to think that the guy I wrote the most about is the one I cared for the least. Except, there are a few pages devoted to a certain someone from the past. Again, that’s a post for another night.

What I wanted to share tonight from this book are two pages titled, "So, What Now?" These pages asked questions (started phrases actually) to prompt me to write about my hopes and dreams. What did I think would happen in my life when I was 18? Prep yourself, it’s funny.

My goal in life is…
…to become a newspaper reporter for a "great metropolitan newspaper" who will travel the world, knowing lots of languages and learning something new everyday. I also hope I can teach and show what I’ve learned with the world.

When I was in eighth grade (13 years old), I had the thought that being a reporter would be the coolest thing ever. This is what I wanted to do. I took a journalism class in high school (the school only offered one). I worked on the school newspaper for a bit. To try and know lots of languages, I took three years of Spanish, two and a half years of German (the reason for the half-year is a post I’m really not ready to revisit yet). I created a family newsletter that ran each month for four years. The entire "great metropolitan newspaper" part is from my thought that I’d somehow become Lois Lane. I never really liked Superman so much, but I had a huge thing for Clark Kent. It’s the glasses. I love men in glasses. They look so cute and smart.

What happened to my journalist aspirations? I did end up going to the University of Minnesota but changed majors almost immediately. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t enjoy journalism, I just found that I enjoyed business. Having been recently hired by NABABNA and finding that I liked the company had something to do with this. Since my first choice college (University of Iowa) ended up an unrealistic possibility (v expensive for a Minnesota girl to go to school in Iowa), I settled for the University of Minnesota and the journalism school just wasn’t as good. So I changed majors.

Summer after senior year I will…
…work and plan for college. I will spend time with my closest friends and hopefully take a trip to Wisconsin.

Well, I did end up working that summer. I also went to orientation at the University of Minnesota. That trip to Wisconsin did happen. I drove to my aunt’s house and two friends of mine went with me. We hung out in a cornfield. I seem to remember going to a local roller skating rink and teaching some people the Macarena dance. There may have also been a Oujia board and a really strange girl from down the road. I will have to remember that story.

My plans after high school…
…go to college. The University of Minnesota – Twin Cities, College of Liberal Arts

I did attend the U of MN for a few years. I ended up switching to the business school after my freshman year. I hated the school (should have gone with my initial instinct of the school. I KNEW I didn’t like it there) and quit one semester away from graduating. Yes, this was dumb. But I hated it and I’m happier for where I am now.

My career will be…
…a newspaper reporter

Or not. I am now back to the career dream I had as a child. I’m a banker. Or a team lead who helps bankers. That’s closer to the truth. I know that NABABNA is where I want to keep working, but the actual job may change a few times over the years.

Marriage outlook…
…I want to marry a wonderful man, smart and funny.

I guess I still want to marry a wonderful man. Him being smart is a plus. Him being funny is a must!

Family plans…
…one or two children, hopefully in my mid to late twenties

Crack smokin’. Pure crack smokin’. I have no clues as to what I wish for in the realm of child rearing. I know I don’t have plans to have kids in the next couple of years though.

I’ll drive a…
…Ford Mustang Convertible, purple

Hee hee! I used to like Mustangs because of two guys I hung out with. They were obsessed and it is still the car I can automatically identify. When I purchased my new car, I didn’t even consider a Mustang. That was a dream from my youth and one I no longer hold onto.

I will travel to…
…everywhere in the world!

I still want to do this.


At 8:32 AM, CarpeDM thought...

Well, there is the blog and you are bringing the information about you to the world (at least Portugal) so that sort of meets that goal.

And you've been to Germany and now we're going to PORTUGAL!!!!!!!! YAY!

God, I wonder where my yearbook is...that could be interesting. I can't remember what I wanted to do.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Nothin' could wipe this smile from my face

Excitement is all around! Share with me. Bask in the glory of totally cool ideas and news!

Am I thrilled about the fact my class is ending? Well, yes, but that's not the totally awesome news that I have.

Am I excited that Christmas is coming? Not really. I'm so unprepared this year, but I guess the day will be special anyway.

Is it the anticipation of going to work tomorrow that has me this happy? I won't even comment about that.

No. I'm thrilled, excited, filled with joy, happy, glad, cheerful, delighted, ecstatic, eager, and delirious over the wonderful idea and invitation that was offered to me today.

What is this idea? Asking questions is good. I will tell you.

DM and I are going to PORTUGAL!!!

That's right folks, DM and I are going to visit The Lioness in Portugal in April!!! How cool is this? DM and I are going to be looking into flights (probably within the next week or so) and we both need to get passports. Actually, I need to renew mine and DM needs to get one. We also need to figure out when to take vacation time from work, but we're going to do it.

We've been wanting to go on vacation to Europe for years and this is the perfect solution. We get to meet our friend in person and we get to see wonderful sites! Oh, I'm so excited I can barely sit still!

I'm thinking I should probably try to learn at least some basic Portuguese. I don't think the high school Spanish or German is going to go all that far.

This is sooooo going to ROCK!

(How did I tell DM that this would be a possibility? Here's the thing, we've both talked about how cool it would be to go to Portugal to meet The Lioness and I knew we both were agreeable to the idea. We never discussed how it would work. Today, when talking to The Lioness on MSN, the idea was set into stone. I told her I would chat with DM about it. I got to work and emailed DM. I wrote, "We're going to Europe in April." She wrote back, "OMG! This is so cool. How much do I need to save?" No reservations. I love her! Oh, this is going to be so awesome!)


At 2:09 AM, The Lioness thought...

Spanish will be fine. Thank you is "Ôbrigada" for a girl, and please is "por favor" (poor favvôr). Hallo is "olá", stress on last syllable. You're all set! COOL!

At 8:26 AM, CarpeDM thought...

Um, Lioness, you left out the most important phrase. One that no woman can be without.

Muy guapo hombre.

I also can say Feliz Navidad (because that'll be so helpful in April), caliente, aqua and count to six. Oh, yeah, and cervesa. Because that'll come in handy with my not drinking.


You know, Lioness, if you wanted to be my best friend for life, you would figure out a way to move Portugal closer to London so I could fulfill two lifelong dreams. I have faith in your powers. Work on that for me, okay?

At 9:14 AM, Matt thought...

Little Sister,
That is so totally awesome cool!!!! I cannot wait to see pictures and pictures and pictures!!!!!!! I hope that all goes well for you and DM, and I think it is just awesome that you are going to meet the Lioness in person. Oh so cool!!!!! I have to get back to work right now, but I will talk to you later about all of this. Till then,
Big Brother

At 9:26 AM, The Lioness thought...

"Meu lindo" should do the trick - we do have schoenner maenner, you know. Also, if YOU could move Portugal closer to London AND Israel, that's be my total happiness right there! You're coming! YEY!

At 9:29 AM, The Lioness thought...

WTF, schoenner maenner = handsome men, I'm so sorry, this dawn was horrible due to flight/hotel booking and I haven't slept since 4.30 am, am knackered, KNACKERED, and apparently it's showing, don't know why I'm reverting to German.

At 11:06 AM, The Lioness thought...

OMG and BAD German at that!!! Schoenne Maenner, no R!!! NO R!!! Daft cow.

Checking the obituaries (just kidding)

Earlier today I was talking to Adam on the phone. Yes, this is strange. Adam and I used to live together (for two years!!!) and we're great friends, yet the distance has been forming for a bit of time. This does sadden me. I'm getting away from what I wanted to share. Sorry. Back to business Beth! (Do I listen to my internal commanding voice? Hardly. Well, maybe, but only if I want to. Wow. I'm really avoiding what I was thinking of. Who's confused yet? I am.)

Adam asked how the weekend went. Last time he saw me, the boy had not called and it was before he didn't show up for karaoke. Here's what Adam said to me (and his intentions were good, don't hate him):

"Well, maybe someone in his family died and he was at a funeral out of town."

To which I replied, "Great. So I'm supposed to be hoping that someone died." (Note, I'm not really hoping anything, Adam was just trying to comfort me in his way. Hey, he did respond to the whole laundry thing.*)

I'm not hoping someone died.

You know what bugs me the most about this whole stupid thing? Not understanding it. I can be fine with a guy not calling me. I can get that. What I don't get is why. I've always been one to break down problems and get to the roots of the situation. Matt can testify to this annoying quirk (it's annoying to me, I don't care if you say it isn't annoying Matt, it is annoying to me! Sorry, random moment there) of mine. It's not even about the boy anymore. It's about my mind trying to figure out the pieces. It's like I want to learn from this, but haven't figured out what I need to learn.

So here's to hoping no one died. Or had their arms ripped off by farming equipment. Because really, I don't want misery to be the root of this. That's no good.


*Laundry thing. When Adam picked up the phone, we talked for a moment and he asked what I was doing. I told him, "I'm doing laundry at my apartment." He responded, "What's wrong?"** Again, he lived with me for two years and knows that I don't do laundry at my apartment. I find it much more practical to bring it to my dad's house each weekend and do it while I'm having dinner with him and watching movies. I do the laundry myself, it's just cost effective to do it as his house. Also, if I have to leave it for an extra ten minutes, I don't have to worry about someone stealing my underwear. Why do people steal underwear from laundry rooms? That's just strange.


**Since I don't do laundry at my apartment, Adam took this as a sign of unusual activity. Which it was. It's not so much that something is wrong, just that my brain is going into overactive mode again (I had thought I didn't care - who was fooled? Pretty much me). I did laundry to divert my attention.


At 8:48 AM, CarpeDM thought...

"Why do people steal underwear from laundry rooms?"

Underwear gnomes, perhaps?

I don't get men. This is, by the way, about the boy, not Adam or Matt. I wish I knew how their minds work. Why they don't call.

I hope no one died or got their arms ripped out because of a farming accident. But maybe he could be lying in a coma somewhere and Pete will come and tell you about it, hoping to win your love (why he thinks telling you the boy is in a coma would win your love is beyond me but that's Pete for you) and you will reject Pete and rush off to see the boy and he will wake up when he hears your voice and you will fall into his arms (being careful not to mess with the tubes) and exchange the Big Kiss and get married by the Hospital Chaplin that moment.

It could happen.

At 1:33 PM, Matt thought...

In response to what DM said,
yea and I could grow hair........

I loved this post little sister, and I love the fact that both you and DM were very quick to make sure that I did not feel discounted in anyway, thank you, that meant a lot. I never once thought that you would discount me, and it always make me smile and sometimes laugh when you think that I would be like that right away.

I don't know what to say about the boy I wish I did, other than it must suck going through life looking like a man, but not have the "equipment" necessary to carry it off.

Big Brother

At 2:24 PM, brooksba thought...


I am NOT hoping that he's in a coma. That's not right.

I am doing better today. Yesterday was a little rough, mainly because I was sitting at home by myself. That's never a good thing. And I was forced to be here due to school crap.

I'm more mad at myself for thinking about this stuff at all. He's not worth the effort. Oh well. Off to a better, happier subject! Hey, I have to go to work. Joy.


At 7:35 PM, The Lioness thought...

Beth, THE LAD sucks rock. Big rock. Pointy rock. crumbly rock.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Questions asked in comments

Alright, I'm being lazy. I hate school and I am really glad this horrible computer class is ending on Wednesday.

Before I get to the questions that I want to respond to, I need to vant about school. Not to be arrogant or anything like that, but I thought I was reasonably intelligent. I have always done well in school before and I am considered a knowledge resource at work. Learning new things has never been too much of a problem for me, but this class has made me feel dumber than when the boy didn't call me. (Yes, he is now down to tiny font and no capital letters, stupid jerk. I might be harboring a little aggression here. What do you think?) This class started so mind-numbing, the whole "a mouse is a pointing device" thing comes to mind. Now we have a final project due that involves setting up two manufacturing firms with a brand new network using the model of an overseas location. I have NO CLUE what is going on. Luckily, my group is nice and let's me deal with setting up the Power Point slide show. I just copy information from the main document and make it look pretty. Except, I don't like making school work look pretty. You would think this appeals to my scrapbook side of my personality, but it doesn't. It's impractical in my head to make a school project look "pretty." The best I did was make the background this pink/purple color. Cause that's not cool.

My teacher is a prick. Sorry for the language, but he is. First of all, he decided to NOT put the deadline for the project in the syllabus. The exact wording in the syllabus is, "All assignments for the week are due on Wednesdays." Then he reamed the entire class out today because the group project was due on Sunday. NO ONE knew this. I think he made it up. He just wanted to be a prick.

He keeps marking me down for comma usage in my papers. Here's an example, "The system is accessed by different software programs and these programs interface with the database." He said that I should have written, "The system is accessed by different software programs, and these programs interface with the database." This guy has no clue how to use commas. I'm not saying I'm an expert, I'm not in any way. It's like writing, "We went to the store, and we went home." It bothers me.

I am looking forward to the break in classes. I really should determine when my next class is. Oh, I looked. It's Employment Law and it starts January 13th. For the first time in my life, I'm just hoping to make it by in this class with a passing grade. I've always strived for A level work and I really don't care what my grade is in this class as long as it's high enough to get my reimbursement check from work.

Okay. Now to the questions asked in recent comments:

"Why is it not Friday now?" Asked by DM on the "Overheard Tonight at the Chalet..." post.
Well, see the world divides time up into segments to help differentiate now and later. Sorry, couldn't resist. Actually, I have a question to you about this one. You said this in response to "I miss you." Are we getting together on Christmas Eve? I thought Keem was going to WI. I would be happy to play some cards or hang out for a while after I get off work. Let me know, but I figured you had family stuff going on. I know we talked about getting together after the family obligations on Saturday.

"What's audio blogger doing?" Asked by Lioness on the "You Outta Know...." post. I don't think it was audio blogger. I actually think it's my ancient cell phone (that has been dropped more times that I could think of keeping track). I really ought to get a new phone.

"Why can you all sing in such pretty voices???" Asked by Lioness on the "Give Me One Reason..." post. Thank you. DM and Bryan have v pretty voices. Matt does too, but he wasn't there. And I like Michael's voice. I still will never like my own.

"Is that Matt speaking?" Asked by Lioness on the same post. No, it wasn't Matt. The swearing you heard was actually Michael, a friend of ours who refuses to let us post a picture of him.

"Which one is which?" Asked by DM on the "Great Party" post. Left to right on the name descriptions. I hope that clarifies.

"Can one person be considered a group?" Asked by Matt on "Blogging Just Because it's Here" post. Yes. I think one person can be considered a group but it's not just a one person group. You are my big brother and I'm your little sister. We make up the group. It might be a small group, but it's a great group.

"Did she not notice the claws?" Asked by DM on "Kitten update..." post. She never even checked, she just took the word of the other person. That's my mom for you.

I saw something on DeAnn's blog on day that I kind of liked. She asked everyone reading to ask her three questions, no more, no less, and then she responded to them. Here's your chance, if you have a dying random question to ask, ask away!


At 8:28 AM, CarpeDM thought...

Random question:

Do you know what fledging is?

Overheard tonight at the Chalet...

"But we like hot butter on your breakfast toast." - This was completely random, but I wrote it down in my little flower notebook when Dean sang this line in Rapper's Delight. Have you ever read those lyrics? They make absolutely no sense, what-so-ever.

I do need to start off with an apology. My experiment tonight with audio blogger did not turn out as I had hoped. The quality of the audio clips is poor at best, however I am leaving them up. You can listen to them if you wish, let me just say that it sounds soooo much better live. It even sounds better with my digital camera. I am disappointed in my cell phone.

I just realized that listening to my own voice is worse than listening to my calls at work. It's awful. See how much I love you all? I'm willing to leave this horrible, horrible thing out here for the world to listen to. It's so bad. Oh, and the random noises at the end are unique. That would be Bryan and I. Oh, the horrors!

More overheard things from karaoke tonight.

Said to me, "Do you mind if I tell you that you're really good looking?" Then, to me again, "What are you doing New Year's Eve?" Finally, the same person said to me, "Is that a real ring or a wedding ring?"

Was it THE BOY telling me these things (BTW, he hasn't called, I don't care, I took a chance, failed miserably, and I'm ready to move on)? No. It was this man named Jose who I swear is at least 20 years older than I am. I've seen him before, I have no clue why he came over to talk to our table tonight. Maybe it was the lack of people in the Chalet. I really wanted to reply (about the ring comment), "Well, it is a real ring and it would be a wedding ring, I only wear it on my right hand because the government won't allow DM and I to express our love legally on paper yet." DM and I are not together, neither of us are attracted to women, but I found it amusing that this guy would question a ring on my right hand. And what would make a wedding ring NOT real? Is he on crack?

I had another man come over and ask me to sing a duet with him. He wanted me to sing some song I had never heard of. He then asked DM and she also declined.

Later, a man we saw last week joined our table (how do we attract people like this? I don't get it. We're not all that social) and I noticed his eyes. Wait, I noticed what the focal point of his gaze seemed to be the entire time he sat with us. He's a nice guy, don't get me wrong, and probably a pretty good guy since he is one of Bryan's friends, but dude, look up once in awhile.

My idiot comment of the night (please don't mention Freud, I've already realized where this came from (it came from remembering a conversation last week and really is not as bad as it sounds)). DM and I were talking to Dean and this other guy who kept staring at my "assets". The topic of office comic strips was brought up and I meant to say, "My favorite Dilbert comic is..." Replace the word Dilbert with another word that starts the same, but ends completely different. Let's just say, I was embarrassed.

I tried a couple of new songs tonight. You Outta Know is one of them. I tried to audio blog Your Little Secret, but the cell phone cut out during the song and I lost it. I'm sorry. Someday, I don't know when, I'll get a way of having better sound quality. I also sang When You Say Nothing At All and Take My Breath Away. Take My Breath Away was in honor of DM and how wonderful of a friend she is.

Because I feel the need to share (or something), the complete BOY update. He never called and he never showed up. I don't know if I scared him away from his bar or what, but he wasn't there. DM said there may be a reason, but I don't really have an overwhelming desire to pursue anything else. I'm a little confused (not about my emotions or anything like that) because I, actually all of us, read him differently. Seems odd. But not odd enough to give it anymore thought than this. I am only writing this in case people are wondering.

I had a blast tonight. It was also quite enjoyable to be able to focus on conversations with other people and actually register when people (DM and Michael) were singing. That was fun.


At 9:14 AM, The Lioness thought...

That BOY is a bloody idiot, that's what he is!

At 9:44 AM, Matt thought...

Not only is THE BOY an idiot as perr the Lioness, but he is also a bloody twisted, wankin', aggravating, tit. I am glad to hear that you had a good time last night, that is always a good thing to hear. Hope to talk to you later Little Sister, take care.
Big Brotehr

At 5:38 PM, CarpeDM thought...

You know what was really sexy about the whole asset staring dude? How he kept stroking his moustache as he was staring at you.

Ooh, yeah, baby, fondle that moustache. That makes me really want you.

the boy is bad. bad the boy. bad. no capital letters for you, the boy. none.

I miss you. Why is it not Friday now?

Sunday, December 19, 2004

You Outta Know - Beth singing - There was music playing, I swear it. For some reason, this sounds a cappella.

this is an audio post - click to play

1 Comments for Audioblog above:

At 4:34 AM, The Lioness thought...

Even with this garbled copy - and yes, the sound is terrible, what's audio blogger doing? - I LOVED it and am v v envious! COOL babe!

Give Me One Reason - DM singing

this is an audio post - click to play

1 Comments for Audioblog above:

At 4:37 AM, The Lioness thought...

Oh I can barely hear her but why can you all sing in sich pretty voices??? is that matt speaking? Matt, you need to be quiet, I can't hear DM, and don't say "hell", cursing is nasty.

Bryan sings a Toad the Wet Sprocket Song - I don't know the name of the song, sorry for the poor sound quality - he really sounds amazing in person

this is an audio post - click to play

The Devil Went Down to Georgia - This is Michael, but again, sorry for the poor sound quality

this is an audio post - click to play

Cracklin' Rose - DM singing, I wish I had a better cell phone

this is an audio post - click to play

Holly Holy - Bryan sings

this is an audio post - click to play

The benefits of thinking before you speak

I did it again. My brain shut off for a few moments and I said something I feel bad about. I didn't mean it this way, it was a joke, but I think I ended up making my big brother do that "knife in the abdomen" routine. He wrote a bit about it here.

Here's what happened. I went yesterday to see Ocean's 12 with Keem and DM. I met them in Oakdale and we enjoyed the movie. Afterwards, we went to Damon's, a sports bar/restaurant nearby. While we were eating, DM mentioned that she loved the movie and wanted to see it again. I called up Moviefone and we decided to go again. We liked it the second time too!

It was late (for everyone but me - the resident night owl) when the movie got out and we headed to my car (Keem left hers at the restaurant for the second movie). I checked my phone and saw that I had two missed calls. I realized that Jeff (Keem and DM's roommate) had called, probably looking for them, and that Matt had called. I called Matt back and set up card playing at Perkin's.

Matt told me that Scott bought a new car that day and then mentioned that Scott had been thinking about a mini-van.

Without thinking, I said, "But Scott can't drive a mini-van. He's not a loser."

It was at this point that Matt reminded me about his former mini-van.

Ever cringe at the idiocies that come out of your own mouth? I did.

I then tried to justify Matt's mini-van ownership. I said, "But you had a wife who probably made you buy it and drive it." Yeah, that's the ticket.

I did tell Matt that I'm glad he finally got in touch with his inner cool self, but I still feel bad. Matt's not a loser. I just don't like mini-vans.


At 2:44 PM, The Lioness thought...

I think it's one of those cases when we say things to make general points rather than specific ones. I can't believe Matt thinks you think him a loser so it all should be fine, we all say stupid things at times.

At 9:41 PM, Matt thought...

I do not think that you would ever believe me to be a loser, I was laughing so hard on the inside after you had said it. Lioness, have no fear, I know that Little Sister does not feel that way about me. Alls well that ends well I say. Hope that everything is going good for you, and I hope that you have a good time in anything you do. Take care,
Big Brother


It's not my intent to sound mean and spiteful, however, I am dreading the holiday dinner with my grandparents obligation. It's tomorrow afternoon and I just don't know what I can talk to my grandparents about. I got mad at my grandmother on Thanksgiving for making comments about minority groups and I just don't look forward to what she'll say tomorrow. I know, "She's old", but that's not an excuse.

In thinking about the dinner, I remembered a moment from last year and smiled. Is it wrong that I found joy in this?

Christmas gift card for my grandparents: $50

Traditional Christmas dinner with my grandparents at a local restaurant: $35

Seeing the look on Grandma's face when she finds out I was living with a gay man: Priceless

She looked so shocked. I remember the conversation so well:

G: I'm surprised you didn't bring Adam with you. Is everything okay there?
B: Why would I bring Adam to dinner with my grandparents?
G: You do live with him.
(Light goes on in my head, "Oh, she thinks I'm living in wedlock with Adam.")
B: Well, he's busy spending time with his boyfriend's family today.

Long pause.

G: How's school going?

Notice the subject change? I'm glad she didn't let loose on comments. I get a little protective of my little brother, even if he drives me insane sometimes.


At 8:52 AM, CarpeDM thought...

I love that. That's so funny.

At 9:47 AM, Matt thought...

I remember hearing that story before, and as it did then it has brought a smile to my face and laughter ebbing its way to the surface. That is hysterical, I love it.
Big Brother

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Blasted! Foiled by a bunch of teenagers!

The plan was formed and everything was ready to go off, without a hitch. And then, hiccup! This seems a little random.

As for the title, there are no actual teenagers foiling anything around here (except maybe at the salon - highlights are good for hair). I'm actually discussing the whole audio blogging. I tried it again and I don't know if my cell phone just won't take the sound correctly, but it sounds HORRIBLE. I'm not just talking about songs I sang, I even tried with one of Bryan's songs (the host from karaoke) and it sounded like crap. All distant and static-y.

And why won't AOL let me send something over 16 MB? I tried compressing the files (since they are technically video files - you just can't see anything because it's always dark where karaoke is involved) and it still didn't work.

I'm frustrated. That seems to be happening a lot lately.

On a much more pleasant note, I'm going to a movie with Keem and DM this afternoon! This is a good plan, especially since my phone STILL HAS NOT RUNG. I am over feeling like crap about the whole thing. I will see what happens at karaoke tomorrow night, but I don't really care. Someone told me (last night at the party, but I don't remember who said it), "It is the holiday season, you have to give a little extra allowance for that." Well, a week is a pretty big allowance anyway, in my book. I am not looking for romance right now and I was willing to try for a bit, but if the bloke* isn't as excited to call me as I was to have him call, it tends to cool me off.

I really wanted to share some of the karaoke songs with everyone. I am disappointed. It might work better to record straight to audio blogger, it's just that it is too hard to hear the instructions over the cell phone while we're sitting right next to a speaker.

Oh, and in anticipation of maybe going out tonight, I managed to wake up the pool hall junkie bug in my system. I thought I had beat it into submission, but it seems to have broken free of its chains and is now screaming at me, "Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go to the pool hall!" Why do I have this addiction?

DM just called and I am off to the movie now. Have fun world! Be good.


*My brain went completely dead and I couldn't remember how to spell bloke. This is a little disturbing to me. The funny part is that instead of grabbing the dictionary right next to me, I grabbed my cell phone and called Matt. He answered and I said, "How do you spell bloke?" He spelt the word. Then I said, "That's why I called." Yes, I am strange. It's okay though. I know you love me.


At 8:51 AM, CarpeDM thought...

"Yes, I am strange. It's okay though. I know you love me."

You so just channeled me there.

Oh, I finally just got the foiled by a bunch of teenagers title. I am hanging my head in shame. My inner Velma is so ticked off at me.

A Great Party

I just got home from the annual Christmas karaoke party and it was AWESOME, as usual. I don't really know what to write; it was just a ton of fun. We got to eat some good food, sing some fun songs, and talk with a ton of people. I got to see some people from work and how they are outside of the corporate building. I love that.

I'm too drained from the party to share many stories, but I want to share some pictures. I'm still trying to figure out the audio blogs for the party and I tried a couple, but the sound quality was horrible. I wish I could just post the files from my camera. Does anyone know how to do that?

Well, here's the pictures. Unfortunately, there is not a picture of me. Don't blame me. I did tell Matt to take some pictures and I even told him I wanted one of me.

The work crew - in the back: Matt, Luke, Shawn, and Shawn's wife (who I never got her name), in the foreground - Naomi and Michelle. Michelle is closest to the right side of the picture.

Naomi and Michelle - both work on our helpdesk

Greg - one of our sales bankers

Carl and Penny - Carl is on our team at work and Penny is his wife. She scrapbooks! (Yes, I did use scrapbook as a verb.)

Jay and Jordan - a couple of cool cats from our team, I call Jay my rock star and I call Jordan my rock star in development

Char and Tom - Char is a banker on our team. Tom is her husband. She's soooo much fun. She fit in instantly with our team.

Char and Luke - Luke is a fun guy. I've known him for almost 5 years now. Always good to have at a party.

Char sings - It was awesome to see Char get up and try a song. Lots of fun.

Tom sings - This was Tom's first time EVER trying karaoke. He did a good job. We enjoyed it.

Carlene sings - Carlene is the host of the party. I didn't get any good pictures of Craig (her husband and the banker on our team). She is the life of the party.

Carlene hugs Luke - Carlene is so nice. She hugs everyone. She and Craig are those type that actually LIKE people. They are wonderful people and throw an amazing party.

Carlene dances - Self explanatory

My big brother - Matt sings Werewolves of London. He does a great job.

I will try for better audio blogs tomorrow. It's really early in the morning right now and the volume on the speakers will need to be turned up. I live in an apartment and really don't want to make my neighbors wonder.

I was going to do homework, but I'm beat. Good night!


At 7:45 AM, The Lioness thought...

I'm so happy you had a bril time despite DM and Keem not being there (hope you're feeling better!), can't wait for those audio blogs!

At 8:49 AM, CarpeDM thought...

Um, Jay and Jordan. Cute. Very, very cute. Which one is which?

I'm so sad I missed it.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Blogging just because it's here

Hello world. The party that I'm going to started almost two hours ago and I'm STILL at home. As it turns out, DM and Keem are both sick. I feel badly for them. Scott and Matt are supposed to go to the party, but the kids are grounded and Scott is staying home. Now I'm waiting for Matt to get the kids to bed and then he can go out. We still need to stop and pick up food and the $5 gifts (for an exchange).

It is on nights off that I realize how alienated I've made myself in life. I used to get calls every Friday and Saturday night, from all my friends. In high school, our group would get together each Friday and Saturday night. The group always had at least 8 people around and we had a blast. During my first years of college, I went out with friends all the time. Then I came to my pool hall days and every Friday and Saturday night was a get together. Eventually, I started hanging out with DM, Keem, Matt, and Adam after work from NABABNA. We had plans every night to do something.

Then DM went to days.

Then Matt went to days.

Then Adam went to days.

Then Keem went to days.

And now, I'm left on the night shift. So I don't call anyone when I get off work, since they're all asleep. It doesn't bother me much, until I have a night off of work. I have hopes for my night off to go out and spend time with those I love and laugh and giggle. Then I realize that they are all day people now and my ideas of going out are no longer the same.

Sometimes I think about going to the pool hall. That's no longer even an option, since the place closed down recently. I don't know why. I could call a couple of old friends to find out why, but I don't.

I love my job, I've mentioned that before. But I am really getting sick and tired of giving up so much of my social life for it. It was one thing when my circle of friends liked staying out late, but now it is lonely. That's really all I have to describe it by. It is lonely.

I'm not trying to be depressing, I'm just irked by what I've made of my social life.

And speaking of social life (here comes the vant that I know everyone has just been dying to read!!!), THE BOY has not called. I am soooooooo pissed off at him (at least, until I see him again or he calls). I hate these stupid little games that people feel the need to play in the dating world. Why? It's dumb. Who cares if you take 3 days to call? Who cares if you take a year to call? Who cares if you look forward or anxious? Here's the thing, I'd much rather go out with a guy who was EXCITED to talk to me. I don't want to go out with a guy who just thinks, "Well, there's something to do." Hello??? How does that make me feel? It makes me feel like you're sooooo not worth it.

I think I'm going to go back to my bubble of non-dating existence and live my logical, sane life. Yeah, that's the ticket. Like it will happen.

I don't feel rejected, mind you. I really don't. I did have some hopes (and I still harbor a couple of them) for getting to know THE BOY, but it really hasn't gone that far. I gave the guy my phone number. And he flirted with me (A LOT by the way). So what, right? Maybe it's just practice for something bigger and better.


It was fun to think that maybe he liked me. It was fun to feel special, to feel that a guy I was attracted to had some of the same feelings. I do have some problems with self-esteem. Most people don't think that when they see me, but I hide insecurities. I don't like my weight (I don't obsess about it, but I still don't like it), I think my nose is too big (thanks Grandma), and I don't like my teeth (Coca-Cola doesn't help). And since I normally attract those men who seem to only look at two things on my body (left and right, my, the choices!), I feel special when a guy I think is nice and funny and attractive talks to me like a human being.

It's weird, but the two men that I had the most physical relationships with were not the ones that I fell in love with. The interactions with them were the result of enormous amounts of alcohol but I remember the feelings I had the next days. I never thought, "Hey, we're dating now and we're going to get married and have 2.5 babies". No, I kept thinking, "Hey, someone was attracted to me and made me feel like a woman, not just like a friend." It's very hard for me to admit that I felt that way. I feel as if saying it makes me less of a person, and I don't know why I feel that way. I guess I just think it makes it sound like I used them. But I didn't. I was attracted to them and I felt good to have that equal attraction.

I was not looking for a one-night make out session with THE BOY. I don't know what I was looking for. Wait, I do know. I was hoping to get to know him and see if he's someone that I would like to date on a consistent basis. I did get wrapped up in the feelings of giddiness and being twitter-pated. It is FUN to feel that way, no matter how much of a boot to the head it feels like.

Why do men treat me like their friend, not as a woman? I wonder about this sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I like my male friends and appreciate that they treat me this way. I'm just focusing on why do men I find attractive always end up being a friendly acquaintance, rather than having a date or two? I guess I feel the need to know someone a little more before I date them, this is something I was trying to change by giving THE BOY my number. I've always been a bit of a tom-boy. Some seems to think I'm a lesbian, however that is not even close to the truth. I do believe in gay rights, I'm just straight. I am attracted to the opposite sex. It doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else. Because I've always been the tom-boy, boys have always felt comfortable talking to me. And they talk to me about everything, including the girls that they'd like to date. They ask for advice, almost knowing that I'm a female, but ignoring it because I can be just like one of the guys (who happens to have boobs and an inside track on the female head). I played sports in elementary school and always tried hard in Phy Ed. I was actually usually picked before the other guys to be on a team. (I think the boys were afraid to have me on the opposition - I played rough, okay? Sue me.)

I guess I just know that I'm typically seen as: 1) one of the guys or 2) a rack. When I get seen as something else, or when I perceive that a man sees me as something else, I get excited. I feel special. I don't mind being one of the guys, I just think it's lonely. Not that I need a man, I'd just like to date one. That's not asking for too much, is it?

Sorry for the depressing post. I didn't mean to be depressing. I'm actually trying to say that I don't really care if THE BOY calls or not, I had fun feeling special. I'd still like him to call, I haven't given up completely, but if he does, I think I'm going to ask him if he's special (and I'm not talking about being gifted here). Slow might be a good word for it too.

And if he doesn't call, I don't know how I'll react at karaoke the next time I see him. I'll probably be pissy and try to kick him in the head (not really because I don't want to end up in jail - but I'll be mean and say something I know I'll regret).

But I do look at giving him my number this way: the only regrets I have in life are the things I did not do. I regret never telling Charlie or Andriy how I felt. I regret not keeping in touch with certain people. I regret sitting by the sidelines.

It's funny, my best friend in high school had an avid dating life. She has told me that she wishes she had done some things differently and wished she had been as reserved as I was. I wish I had followed her lead a little and lived a bit. The grass is always greener on the other side.


At 7:50 AM, The Lioness thought...

"I'd much rather go out with a guy who was EXCITED to talk to me." YES.

"I don't feel rejected, mind you. I really don't. I did have some hopes (and I still harbor a couple of them) for getting to know THE BOY, but it really hasn't gone that far. I gave the guy my phone number. And he flirted with me (A LOT by the way). So what, right? Maybe it's just practice for something bigger and better." RIGHT ON, sistah!

Yes, i understand what you are saying, have felt a lot of the same as well, am now feeling a whole bunch of different things bcs I AM SO FREAKED OUT but this is the thing, we have to take chances don't we, that's how life bloody tests us, i think it was FUCKING BRAVE of you to give him your phone and if he doesn't try to woo you, and capture you, and keep you - wow, TOSSER! major major wanker, yes. Bcs at some point you have to overcome your insecurities and shyness and go bat for what you want, and WHY ISN'T HE MOVING! I hope he has a REALLY good reason, and I hate that he's making you feel like this, no herring for THE BOY! Oh may there be laughter and the end of it all.

At 10:38 PM, Matt thought...

I think that the way you are handling this is just fantastic and wonderful Little Sister. You are an amazing person, one of the best I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know, and if THE BOY is being slow about this, I think it may mean that he has sensed the same things that we all know. Or it could mean that he is slow in expressing himself, I am still not sure about that. I agree with the Lioness on how he is a wanker if he does not call, or at least give you a good enough reason why he didn't call (combine ripping his arms off, and missing them when he shows at karoke would suffice) and that TOSSER if he doesn't call. You were brave in what you did, you truly were. I was proud to be there and witness it for myself when you did it, it was truly magical.

I would like to say that I feel especially privilaged to be a part of another group (can one person be considered a group?) of classification amongst the way you are perceived. I am in a group of people that know you as their Little Sister. That is a magical and wonderful group to be in, we are in a group that makes up a family. So for that I would like to say thank you for always being there, and thank you for letting me get to know you as well as I do.

I will talk to you later, hope everything is good for you.
Your Big Brother,

At 8:47 AM, CarpeDM thought...

Sometimes I'm sorry I moved to days. I miss when we used to hang out together almost every night, playing cards and everything. Or chillin' in the parking ramp. I just used the word chillin' in a sentence. How odd.

I really hope that the boy (lower case letters for him now) has a good reason for not calling. Tosser indeed.