Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Checking the obituaries (just kidding)

Earlier today I was talking to Adam on the phone. Yes, this is strange. Adam and I used to live together (for two years!!!) and we're great friends, yet the distance has been forming for a bit of time. This does sadden me. I'm getting away from what I wanted to share. Sorry. Back to business Beth! (Do I listen to my internal commanding voice? Hardly. Well, maybe, but only if I want to. Wow. I'm really avoiding what I was thinking of. Who's confused yet? I am.)

Adam asked how the weekend went. Last time he saw me, the boy had not called and it was before he didn't show up for karaoke. Here's what Adam said to me (and his intentions were good, don't hate him):

"Well, maybe someone in his family died and he was at a funeral out of town."

To which I replied, "Great. So I'm supposed to be hoping that someone died." (Note, I'm not really hoping anything, Adam was just trying to comfort me in his way. Hey, he did respond to the whole laundry thing.*)

I'm not hoping someone died.

You know what bugs me the most about this whole stupid thing? Not understanding it. I can be fine with a guy not calling me. I can get that. What I don't get is why. I've always been one to break down problems and get to the roots of the situation. Matt can testify to this annoying quirk (it's annoying to me, I don't care if you say it isn't annoying Matt, it is annoying to me! Sorry, random moment there) of mine. It's not even about the boy anymore. It's about my mind trying to figure out the pieces. It's like I want to learn from this, but haven't figured out what I need to learn.

So here's to hoping no one died. Or had their arms ripped off by farming equipment. Because really, I don't want misery to be the root of this. That's no good.


*Laundry thing. When Adam picked up the phone, we talked for a moment and he asked what I was doing. I told him, "I'm doing laundry at my apartment." He responded, "What's wrong?"** Again, he lived with me for two years and knows that I don't do laundry at my apartment. I find it much more practical to bring it to my dad's house each weekend and do it while I'm having dinner with him and watching movies. I do the laundry myself, it's just cost effective to do it as his house. Also, if I have to leave it for an extra ten minutes, I don't have to worry about someone stealing my underwear. Why do people steal underwear from laundry rooms? That's just strange.


**Since I don't do laundry at my apartment, Adam took this as a sign of unusual activity. Which it was. It's not so much that something is wrong, just that my brain is going into overactive mode again (I had thought I didn't care - who was fooled? Pretty much me). I did laundry to divert my attention.


At 8:48 AM, CarpeDM thought...

"Why do people steal underwear from laundry rooms?"

Underwear gnomes, perhaps?

I don't get men. This is, by the way, about the boy, not Adam or Matt. I wish I knew how their minds work. Why they don't call.

I hope no one died or got their arms ripped out because of a farming accident. But maybe he could be lying in a coma somewhere and Pete will come and tell you about it, hoping to win your love (why he thinks telling you the boy is in a coma would win your love is beyond me but that's Pete for you) and you will reject Pete and rush off to see the boy and he will wake up when he hears your voice and you will fall into his arms (being careful not to mess with the tubes) and exchange the Big Kiss and get married by the Hospital Chaplin that moment.

It could happen.

At 1:33 PM, Matt thought...

In response to what DM said,
yea and I could grow hair........

I loved this post little sister, and I love the fact that both you and DM were very quick to make sure that I did not feel discounted in anyway, thank you, that meant a lot. I never once thought that you would discount me, and it always make me smile and sometimes laugh when you think that I would be like that right away.

I don't know what to say about the boy I wish I did, other than it must suck going through life looking like a man, but not have the "equipment" necessary to carry it off.

Big Brother

At 2:24 PM, brooksba thought...


I am NOT hoping that he's in a coma. That's not right.

I am doing better today. Yesterday was a little rough, mainly because I was sitting at home by myself. That's never a good thing. And I was forced to be here due to school crap.

I'm more mad at myself for thinking about this stuff at all. He's not worth the effort. Oh well. Off to a better, happier subject! Hey, I have to go to work. Joy.


At 7:35 PM, The Lioness thought...

Beth, THE LAD sucks rock. Big rock. Pointy rock. crumbly rock.