Monday, December 13, 2004

For lack of a better title - Monkey!

Finally, it was Sunday. After a LONG week, it was Sunday. DM and I were off to The Chalet for a night filled with karaoke and my personal hopes of seeing THE BOY and having something happen. There are a few things I'd like to share about the evening.

Scum of da Eart

This is just an observation of something that happened to other karaoke-goers. A couple was playing darts and this woman had on the tightest pants EVER. Michael made a comment about not having painted on pants in public. What I wish I had not witnessed was when the man she was with slapped her behind. I could have lived without that.

Sheepsheadian Singing

Matt also came to karaoke tonight. We were thrilled to see him, I'm so glad my big brother was there tonight. The fact that DM, Matt, and Michael were there really helped me not go completely insane. We all sang songs and DM did a great version of "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak. Of course, she is called up to sing when THE BOY is walking in and coming towards our table. The next couple of hours are a blur.


Where to start? How about the beginning? That's probably the best place. This may not make much sense, but I will try to follow a conscious train of thought.

THE BOY and Pete arrived. HE came in and got a beer and then came over to our table, as I mentioned before. He sat at the end of the table and we talked a little. He mentioned having a rough week due to car problems and he talked about his work a little. Last night and today the wind has been blowing like crazy and HE told us about some garbage cans at his work whipping around in the breeze.

I told him a story about one of the bankers at work and he laughed. The story will end up on Out of the Mouths of Morons one of these days. Pete went back outside and was waiting for these two women. THE BOY didn't look happy about this situation and he told us that he was trying to be nice. I found out later that these women were visiting from California and it was pretty obvious that Pete was "happy" to see the one. By the end of the night, the one Pete was happy to see was sitting on his lap. And she kept trying to get Matt to sing a Tom Petty song.

Back to THE BOY and these women. Pete and the women decided to play some darts and THE BOY was asked to play with them. HE told us that he didn't really want to do this, but he didn't want to look like a jerk. There are things we do for our friends I guess. That's cool with me. Michael thinks that if you don't want to do something, don't do it, but I understand being there for your friends.

As THE BOY was following Pete and the women to the dart boards, he looked back at me and mouthed the words (while smiling), "Help me!" I smiled back. I kept catching eye contact with him while he was playing darts and it was interesting to have that type of moment, across a bar.

He sang two songs tonight. The second was the one he sang last week, "We've Got Tonite" by Bob Seger. The first song was also a Bob Seger song. It was "You'll Accomp'ny Me." I was speechless. He did a fantastic job at the song too. He looked up at me and made eye contact as he sang the words, "Something you should know, babe."

When the games of darts were over, their group came back to the table next to ours. Oh, while they had been playing darts, I did two things. First, I went to the bar and asked Bobby for an alcoholic drink. I just wanted something sweet (as if Coke isn't sweet enough) and something to help clear my head just a little. Then I did the other thing (which I'll explain in a bit). THE BOY had told us prior to the women showing up that he was going to leave early because they were coming.

HE sat with them for a few songs and then got up to leave. He told our table, "See you later" and walked towards the door. He looked me in the eyes and smiled. Then he realized that he couldn't go out the other door and came back across the bar to the back door. He smiled at me again and walked out the door.

What happens next is so un-Beth-like, it's scary. I had the internal struggle and I thought about how much agony this last week had been. Without talking to DM, Matt, or Michael, I grabbed what I had done earlier and went out the door behind him.

Without my jacket (it was only 20 degrees outside), I went around the building to where the vehicles were parked. I saw him and said, "THE BOY! Come here." I gestured. (I did actually use his name. Don't think I'm that insane.) We met halfway and he stood less than a foot from me, looking me in the eyes again, smiling a knowing smile, and that smile lit up his entire face. At that moment, I forgot it was cold outside. I was determined and I have no clue what came over me, other than trying to avoid the last week I had.

I gave him a piece of paper with my phone number on it. Believe me, this is a HUGE step in my world. Here's the conversation (actions in italics):

B: Would you call me?
THE BOY: Big smile. Yes, I will.
B: I don't work on Saturday.
THE BOY: Really big smile. Okay. Pause. How did you get over here so quick?
B: I went that way. Gesturing because we walked around the building different ways.
THE BOY: Oh. I'll call.

He went to his truck then and I went back inside to the curious faces of DM, Matt, and Michael.

To use a sports analogy, the ball's now in his court. If he calls, he calls. If he doesn't, he doesn't. Either way, I don't have to be stuck in this horrible limbo state. By giving him my number, I gave myself a better outlook for my life than I had during the last week. I don't mean my life was bad in any way, I just mean that I can move forward. I will either get a call and maybe go out, or I won't. Then I'll know.

Bryan, the karaoke host, seems to think THE BOY has a girlfriend. I don't get that impression at all, especially if Pete was trying to set him up with another girl. I am guarded and if he does call, I'll be asking about this. I can be calmer now that I built up enough courage to do what I did. I'm still freaked out by it, but it feels so much better to have taken a step than still be standing there, unable to move.

I hope he calls. I hope he doesn't have a girlfriend (because that would soooo suck). I'm still thinking of what happened, but I feel better. I don't know why I do, but I do.

Update: It's now 11 AM and I STILL have not been able to fall asleep. I've tried, I actually went to bed at 3:30 in the morning, but I can't actually fall asleep. WHAT IS GOING ON?!? At this point, I'm just going to stay up. I rested at least, I got 7 1/2 hours of staying in one position. ARGH! I thought giving him my number would make this GO AWAY! I'm going to try one more method to get some sleep. I'm going to do schoolwork. Maybe it will bore me to the Land of Nod.

Shoot me now!


At 7:11 AM, The Lioness said...

YES!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!! Boa, maravilhosa Beth!!! Fantástico, que linda menina!!!!!!!!

I am SO FUCKING proud of you, learning to fight!!! YES!!! You now did what you could, well done!!!! WELL DONE!!! YEYYYYYYYYYY!!!

At 2:56 PM, Matt said...

Little Sister,
No one was more proud of you than me, I was so excited to see that happen last night. I was actually floored, and somewhat surprised, but overall I was and still am proud of you for doing what you did. I just could not believe the look on Dana's face when we both realized what had happened when you got up and went outside, it was priceless. Just priceless! So once again kudos to you my Little Sister, I am happy that I was there to witness it.

To the lioness-all I can say is this dahling, I love you. You are an incredible person, you truly are. For some reason I saw you raising your arms in the sign of victory and dancing your own happy dance as you read what had happened last night, even if you did not do this, please do not let me know. I would like to hang on to the image I have of you dancing your own secret dance of happiness for Beth.
Take care to both of you,
Matt aka Big Brother

At 5:06 PM, CarpeDM said...

Love the title. Taking a few minutes before I leave tonight to say how excited I am about this!


Get some sleep!