Friday, October 29, 2004

Conversation from work tonight

Here's the conversation I had with 7 of the bankers on our team tonight at a meeting:

B1 (banker 1): What's everyone going as for Halloween?
B2: Yeah, what do grown-ups do for Halloween (hey she's 19).
B3: I'm taking my kids trick-or-treating.
B1: Beth, what are you going to do?
Me: I'm going to karaoke.
B2: Do you dress up for Halloween at karaoke?
Me: I'm going to.
B3: What are you going to be?
Me: I'm going to be a go-go dancer.
B1: What's your costume?
Me: It mainly consists of my go-go boots.
B2: Did you get them at Target?
Me: (Red in the face) Um, no.
B3: Where do you get go-go boots?
Me: I got mine at a specialty shop.
B1: Specialty shop?
B2: Oh, I get it.

That's right. I had the overwhelming desire last year to own go-go boots. So I asked a friend where I could get them. I went to two different porn stores before I found the awesome boots that I have.

That is all I bought and all I looked at that night of porn store hopping.

Who knew you could get really awesome shoes at porn shops?


At 5:40 AM, The Lioness said...


At 8:28 AM, CarpeDM said...

I love the conversation. This is really cute. And they are great boots.

At 8:41 AM, Firebear said...

you have so much fun on sundays. you one day i'm just going to show up there. funny story. but i don't think two guys would have had thaat convo

At 9:12 PM, angelia said...

Um...popcorn??? What about the popcorn?!

At 8:43 AM, The Lioness said...

I am STILL waiting for the karaoke update, whta's happening w THE BOY???

At 12:59 PM, Firebear said...

On friday morning I read this post and laughed, passed it around to others on our island. They all laughed. On our Island we have a student worker, Heather. Heather is the sweetest girl, about 5'0" tall, early twenties, quiet, she even blushes if you say something to make her laugh. Has been working part time in the office for years while she is going to school.
imagine our surprise when she walks in wearing these great, lime green, go-go boots! I didn't even know Heather had legs. It was very funny, since everyone had just finished reading this blog. Thank you, it helped brighten the day! - bear

At 3:09 PM, brooksba said...


The post about that is coming very soon, I have just got my connection back and I have a couple other things I HAVE to do first.

Firebear - I love the story about Heather! Thanks for sharing it. That's great! The boots are such a power surge too!

Angi - I'm sorry, I don't have any more popcorn.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Poor Choice

Just a funny note before I end up on a horrible, horrible topic.

Today at work (yes, back to the grindstone - ick), my previous manager was interviewed for a new job. Cool, right?

Well, in preparing for his interview, he was trimming his beard and accidentally shaved a large chunk out of his beard over his chin. Because it looked odd, he shaved off his beard.

The poor choice came from the fact he left the mustache.

I told him, "You look, um, young." This was much more tactful than what came to my mind and what another person had told him that day.

I told him to shave off the moustache and hopefully he will.

Why, oh why, would you interview for a job with a little moustache that makes you resemble one of the most evil human beings ever?

That's right, the moustache he left made him resemble Hilter.

He didn't do it on purpose and he got a lot of flack for it today. He'll probably be sans facial hair tomorrow. This is good.


At 8:31 AM, CarpeDM said...

He may not have done it on purpose but it is still scary. Could be an interesting costume for Halloween...forget I said that.

At 9:10 AM, Firebear said...

Wow! must be the season. I just shaved off my beard, i do it about 1 a year. Doesn't make me look like hitler though.

At 9:27 AM, Matt said...

I guess it all depends on what job he was interviewing for, maybe deep down in his subconcious he might have thought he was making himself look appropriate.....I am not sure.

Questions I will never ask

Do you ever hate yourself for caring?

Have you ever put the effort into something meaningless?

Do false promises and false statements hurt more than the truth?

What do you do when you've put more importance on the actions of one and have been cast aside?

Is it my own stupid fault?

Why did I ever try?

Do actions speak louder than words?

Is it okay to just apologize later?

Is one person worth leaving others behind?

Am I that easy to leave behind?

Was I ever worth anything in your eyes?

Would your words make me feel any better?

Would I believe your words?

Is the effort, time, and pain worth it?

Am I okay with saying goodbye?

Would you notice if I did?

Have I ever made you feel this way?

Why do you do this to me?

Am I a bad person in your eyes?

Do you even care how I feel?

Will I ever be able to just let go?

Will giving up hurt more than trying?

Does giving up mean I admit I wasted my time?

Did I waste my time?

Did I learn anything?

Where did my smile go?

When did it change?

Is it possible to ever met anyone halfway when they are running the other direction?

Why are you running away?

What did I ever do to hurt you?

Do you know you hurt me?

Do you care if you did?

I am sorry for the depressing post. These questions have been on my mind this past weekend and I am dealing, internally (and externally - thank you Matt), with an issue that hurts to visit. I have been hurt by someone and it is not the first time. I don't want to write a post I will regret, saying horrible things about a person. It may come in time, but now is not that time. I don't want anyone who knows this person to treat them differently than in the past (like you'd ever see the person anyway). I know I just need to let it go, I'm just not ready to.


At 8:30 AM, CarpeDM said...

Sir Lee (the jelly frog) is smiling at you. He'll never leave you. Except, of course, that he is here. And the horses are quite fond of you, they wanted to make sure you knew that.

At 8:22 PM, Matt said...

I know that took a lot for you to do, I hope that it made you feel better. Having to let go of something like that is hard to do, so don't feel like you "have to" let it go. Being hurt is never fun, and everyone deals with it in their own time. Take all the time that you need, we (and especially I) am not going to go anywhere but where you are, no matter how you are feeling at the time. I have found your smile from time to time and I hope to find it more, it is an amazing smile, and the world should not be deprived of it. I am your Big Brother, and that fact will never change, ever.

At 9:38 PM, CarpeDM said...

Okay. Coming back to say that I love you very much and will always be here for you and will see you tonight. But I also wanted to maybe make you smile a little bit.

You are an awesome person. Don't forget that.

Sappy story about love and fireworks

I went out to Perkin's with Matt tonight. In between cards, talking, and doing horrible, HORRIBLE stats homework, Matt and I sat back, thinking of stories from our youths.

He wrote a word down in his new notebook (yes, Dana, you're rubbing off all over the place) that reminded me of Charlie. I've written a little about Charlie before, but I never really explained all the feelings and why I consider him to be my first love. This isn't really the post about those feelings, but a post about one summer night and two idiotic teenagers. It is also a post about how wonderful he was to me.

After I had graduated (and Charlie still had some of high school left - hey, I fell for a younger boy, sue me), we still kept in contact. The summer of 1997 was one filled with crazy stunts and living up the last summer before setting out into the real world (or college, which isn't really the real world, but it's closer than high school).

I had acquired some fireworks with another guy I dated (the dip) and allowed Charlie to set them off on the 4th of July. Now, the type of fireworks I actually had are now legal in Minnesota, but they weren't at the time. Well, most are legal now. I'm not sure about bottle rockets. They go into the air. They may not be legal.

This story is almost so stupid it's embarrassing. I still can't believe what a big deal this turned out to be.

The bottle rockets were not the problem. No, the problem arose when Charlie discovered the smoke bombs. For those who don't know, smoke bombs are small, they don't spark, all they do is put off a lot of smoke. They don't even burn anything. Smoke bombs are kind of lame.

After spending a wonderful afternoon with Charlie in the field where the old drive-in used to stand, we headed over to my friend Mitzie's house. Why, oh why, didn't Charlie just play with the smoke bombs in the field? Why did he decide the proper location to use them was 1/2 a block from the police station?

We were waiting in Mitzie's driveway for her to arrive home. She was about 10 minutes behind us and Charlie saw his target.

He took a package of six smoke bombs and went over the Port-o-Potty near the softball field.

I stood in Mitzie's driveway, telling him not to do this, and watched him enter the Biffy. Soon smoke billowed out of the vents and cracks of the tall, green, smelly toilet. He came out, smiling and laughing. I remember that smile. I remember the look in his eyes.

Mitzie pulled in as he was running back and she looked over, slightly amused, and then we headed inside. The smoke stopped within 2 minutes.

Fifteen minutes later, Mitzie's house was surrounded by five different squad cars. The cops came to the door and asked her dad where his son was. Mitzie's dad knew his son and figured they were looking for the right person. Then they described the suspect and her dad said, "Oh, not my son. That dorky kid over here. Yeah, he's inside."

Charlie came to the door and peacefully left with the police.

I found out later that a person watching softball called the police because she thought someone was setting the Biffy on fire. Charlie wasn't doing that, but the smoke bombs gave that appearance.

The police laughed at him and charged him with vandalism and some far off degree of arson. When they asked where he got the smoke bombs, he never said a word.

I feel guilty that he never said anything. He made me promise to never tell the police where he got the smoke bombs. In fact, I never even had to talk to the police.

Charlie's punishment was minor. He had to write a letter of apology to the city for having smoke come out of the Port-o-Potty. I think he also had to do one hour of community service.

One of the reasons I don't talk to Charlie anymore is because I'm terrified of his mom. He tried to assure me that she doesn't hate me, but if I was that woman, I'd keep my son away from a girl who helped him get arrested.

Charlie was not a legal adult when the incident happened and it is not on his record. This is a good thing. There are other things that he did on his own and got busted for. He, like many teenage boys, seemed to have a fascination with fire and he got grounded pretty heavily when his parents found out about the hairspray and their kitchen counter.

I know Charlie is a different person now and I am too. If I ran into him, I doubt we'd reconnect. I think it would be a, "Hey, how's your life? Oh, that's good," kind of thing.

I don't want to see him. I don't want to taint the memory of the young boy who could melt my heart with his smile and glint in his eyes. I don't want to have my happy memories of high school clouded by the man he may have become.

The last time I spoke to Charlie made my mind up to not keep in contact. I don't know. Maybe I should have. Maybe if I had kept in contact, things would have been different for him. The last time I spoke to him, he was starting to do drugs pretty heavily. I was faced with trying to help an old friend who was more into getting high or letting go and keeping my happy memories. I chose the later.

It was a selfish choice, yes, I can admit that. I can also say that the distance that formed between us when he moved away for a year and I went to college broke some of the bond and I probably wouldn't have been able to change Charlie's mind about drugs.

So I hold onto the happy memories. The ones of Charlie, who could annoy anyone with insults and jabs, and how he was always nice to me.

I remember Charlie, who loved to be number one, always setting me up for compliments. I remember how my friends hated him, but he always knew how to make me feel special.

This doesn't paint a pretty picture of Charlie, does it?

Let's try this. Charlie made me laugh. Every time I saw him, he had a grin on his face and he looked ecstatic just to see me.

When he looked at a magazine at the local department store, he found this quiz, "What would your friends label you as?" He turned to me and said, "You don't need to do this, you're an angel."

When I lost my temper with a different friend and I was so furious, it was Charlie who calmed me down. He said such sweet things, I started crying, in my car on a cool, June evening.

When I went to Germany and was so homesick, it was Charlie I called. I spoke to him for 45 minutes. I needed to hear his voice.

When I think back to my first kiss, it is not Charlie I think of, but when I think of my first kiss that meant something, I think of Charlie. I remember him kissing me and then heading into his house. I can still remember the first time that spark of electricity charged through my body.

When I listen to the Garth Brooks song, You Move Me, it is Charlie I remember. He made me listen to this song and he sang along.

And when I think of this stupid war, I think of Charlie. Charlie wanted to join the armed forces and I don't know if he ever did. He could be over in Iraq right now and I'd never know. I don't want him back in my life, however, I do want his happiness and I want him safe. I want to see him make others smile. I worry for him still. I always will.

He has a special place in my heart. He always will.


At 10:42 AM, CarpeDM said...

Dang you. You made me cry.

I loved this story, Beth. Gave me a different perspective of Charlie than that dorky guy with the awful haircut that put smoke bombs in the port-o-potty.

It's very sweet. I hope he is okay as well.

At 8:33 PM, Matt said...

That was amazingly sweet Beth. I also had a tear in my eye. This post goes to show the world the kind of person you are Beth, it shows the wonderful, caring, kind individual that you are. I also am hoping for his happiness, I also have another thought. For some reason I want to hang on to this memory: Charlie is sitting in his house where ever that may be right now, thinking back on his life (maybe putting it back together) and remembering his friends that heonce had. He doesn't smile as much as he used to, until one day your face comes into his mind. He sees the smile on your face, the sparkle in your eye, and he also thinks back to the kiss that you shared with him. He doesn't want to have you back, but he is also thinking about you and hoping that all is well in your life. I want to hang on to that, I really really do. Moments that you ahred with the world here tonight are rare, having that person inyou rlife is not a common experience, it is good to see that you have decided to hang on to the good things, and not focus on the bad.

I am proud to considered one of your friends, and more than that, your Big Brother.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Blogger strikes again

Okay, so I just wrote a horrible post because I needed a break from studying. When I went to publish it, it disappeared. Gone. Adios. Buh-bye.

This is probably a good thing. The post was not a happy one. Maybe it is a sign that it disappeared.

Just a brief note about the post:

I hate statistics. I want to give up.

Thank you to DM, Keem, Matt, Firebear, and the Lioness for the wonderful words for my birthday.

I am upset about something I haven't written about and I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm getting there. I'll see what happens tomorrow at work.

At 10:37 AM, CarpeDM said...

I'm sorry. Please don't hate me. I adore you.

I know you don't hate me but I am trying to make you smile. Is it working? Is it?

Keem almost ran over a squirrel yesterday. It was suicidal. But she didn't.

At 12:52 PM, The Lioness said...

I always write them in word first to avoid that. I BEAT blogger that way *blows at gun barrel*

Breaking my train of thought

Ah, I needed a break. I'm doing homework, yet again, and I found out today that I forgot about three assignments due today. At least I remembered the two papers due for our learning group.

Can I just say, I hate regression and statistics? I started to get the whole basic stats stuff but now I'm lost on regression. No clue. There's some problem about a security guard at a mall and how he thinks loss of inventory is due to shoplifting. Do I care what some security guard in North Dakota thinks about shoplifting??? No, I do not. If I could only get Excel to do ALL the work, I'd be happy.

I will be celebrating pretty hard next Wednesday night when stats are behind me. One week to go. Thank you.

Sorry for all the song lyrics on here yesterday. In creating categories, I wanted to add a couple of other songs. I think I got the main ones I want. There may be more, but probably never in the quantity of last night.

Just for fun, here's the conversation between my mom and her boyfriend (Scott) last night when we got home from dinner:

M: Hi baby [talking to the dog], oh, Scotty, someone threw up.
S: I'll get the towels.
M: No, don't, I have some in here already [the one dog is old and gets poop stuck to his butt a lot], go get the extra bedspread from downstairs please.
As he goes to get the spare bedspread, she cleans up the vomit. When he gets back, she hands him the garbage bag full of paper towels and dog vomit.

S: So this is garbage?
M: Well, it's the vomit. You could put it in the refrigerator.
S: Alright.

I found it amusing. Neither of them even blink at vomit anymore. Crazy.

There is a lunar eclipse tonight. I might remember to go outside and look at the moon. Hey, it would be a good break from schoolwork.


At 8:59 AM, Firebear said...


At 10:35 AM, CarpeDM said...

I love your mom. I think your dad was right, when I come back, I want to be one of your mom's pets.

At 8:43 PM, Matt said...

All I have to say is this, as far as animal treatment is concerned, there was Ghandi, there is your mom, and then there is Scott. I hope to God to come back as one of your mom's pets as well.

2:15 AM

It's official, I'm going a little stir crazy.

I went out tonight for dinner with my mom and her boyfriend. That's all I did outside the house today.

I have re-done my blog (notice the shiny new categories) and I've listened to about 10 CDs already.

I even finished up homework for school.

I've only been awake for 11 hours and I'm driving myself insane.

I could post more lyrics to songs, but then I'm slamming too many posts into this site in one day.

So please, forgive me and all the song lyrics. There is one more I need to post tonight. And then I may post more.


At 6:25 PM, The Lioness said...

CONGRATS on the categories, brilliant! I am so annoyed you never got ANY of the e-cards, I used your blog address, where ARE they! One was a plate of virtual raspberry and chocolate cake; one was a cute logical figure, a moebius strip only solid (I'm pretty sure that's what it looked like anyway), and the other one was a wonderful winged pic from Romeo and juliet (w Dicaprio and Danes). Damn it.

At 7:26 PM, brooksba said...

Thanks for the thought. I appreciate it. I'm sorry I never got the cards. I don't know what happened.

I'm glad you like the categories. I am thinking it will at least be easier to link related stories this way.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Here's Dana without a microphone at karaoke. I love that shirt!


At 8:35 AM, Firebear said...


At 1:32 PM, Firebear said...

i am so glad to have pictures of you two. I was starting to think you were a figment of my imagination. or a couple of 13 year olds boys playing with me.

At 4:55 PM, CarpeDM said...

Yep, we're real.

Apparently I'll have something fun in my email, Beth told me about the picture. I'm excited.

At 6:26 PM, The Lioness said...

I TOLD you it was cute!!!! Thanks for the pic, nice to be able to see your faces AT LAST! Cool top, yes.

My Day

I feel like I accomplished something major today.

Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. I appreciate it. It's sweet.

I went to dinner with my mom and her boyfriend. We went to this steak house called Manny's. Oh, if you are ever in the Twin Cities and don't mind paying a hefty tab, I highly recommend this place. I had prime rib and it was amazing.

An old friend from the pool hall called me to wish me a happy birthday and Uncle Ga-ga also chimed one in. That was a surprise. I'm going to scrapbook next week with a couple of the girls from the pool hall.

My feeling of accomplishment comes from putting categories on my site. I ended up making another blog just to do the formatting, but I think it works. Check them out. I have six theme so far and I may come up with more. The themes are: Dating 101, Growing Up, Human Rights, Lyrically Inclined, Mom & My Family, and Pool Hall Junkies. Some previous posts go in multiple categories and so they are listed each time. Let me know what you think.

A BIG thank you to Lioness and her dedication to categories. It inspired me to go through all my old posts and divide up the categories. I guess I found something to do for my long weekend!

I may do a couple of more posts tonight but I'm thinking of topics right now. I may start with some song lyrics, just because that bug has gotten to me again.

Should I add a category about bugs and how they're out to get me? Let me know.


At 4:41 PM, CarpeDM said...

Why not add a post of bugs? The cricket one was good and you know there'll be more.

I'm Seeing Red

No, I'm not talking about a shirt and I'm not mad.

I was sitting here at my computer and working on editing a team paper for my class at school. Since I was dealing with a printed copy and it was my first read, I grabbed a pen to jot notes and edits.

Being the dork I am, I thought a red pen would be good to use, it stands out and every time I thinking of editing, my mind conjures up an image of red ink.

Red pen - not a good idea. I can see the notes clearly on the page, but unfortunately, the pen decided to explode on me. Yes, the inanimate object decided it was time to turn me red.

My right hand looks like I slaughtered a very small animal.

I also ended up using the computer before I noticed. I was using Excel to ten-key some stuff and the keys on my keyboard are now tinted red. It's lovely.

I think I'm going to toss the pen now.


At 11:43 AM, CarpeDM said...

Eek. Is it good red like I am red because then it will be fun and exciting and make you do fun and exciting things. Maybe.

At 3:15 PM, The Lioness said...

I'm confused. isn't today your birthday??? Why no "happy birthdays" flying around? It IS today right? let's say it is: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN!!!! YEY!!!!!!! Kisses and hugs

At 3:30 PM, The Lioness said...

I have categories!!! Dany explained to me how to do it! BRILLIANT FABULOUS THING!!! Check out my code, v easy if tiresome to do.

At 3:47 PM, CarpeDM said...

Yes, yes, it is her birthday which is why I am back because I thought, oh my God, I am the worst friend in the world.


Okay, that's a lie. You are tied with Keem.

At 3:54 PM, brooksba said...


You are correct. Today is my birthday. Thank you for the Happy Birthday.

I saw your categories! I started working last night on a project to categorize my site too. It's cool, but yes, very tedious.


Thank you for the Happy Birthday. Admit it, you do love Keem more. =) It's okay. She is your wife.


At 6:26 PM, The Lioness said...

Let's see if I got this right: I sent you three (3) e-cards. Are you trying to tell me you received NONE??? I'm shocked. GO CHECK YOUR BLOG MAIL ALREADY, woman!

(Stop this blogianism, it's making me see rainbow stickers!)

At 7:55 PM, Firebear said...

did i say happy birthday?

At 11:09 PM, Matt said...


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! I know that I had already said that to you on your birthday, but I am saying it again. Happy Birthday, oops I already said that...

Hope you get the red ink out of your hands and such, have fun, don't get arrested, be good!
Big Brother

At 6:28 PM, The Lioness said...

Blogianism = lesbianism while blogging (Keem being DM's wife). Lame, I know. :D

Bike riding, summer, and being a stalker's best friend

Matt's recent posts about spring and summer bike riding sparked a memory in my head. I am suddenly transported back to age 14 and it is summer vacation. My days of junior high are behind me and right ahead, waiting impatiently, is high school.

During that intermittent period, I enjoyed a summer vacation with my friend, Kristy. Kristy and I became friends the past year at school because we shared a couple of classes and the same lunch period. I remember English class the most and I promise a post in the near future about the class of 1997 and the horrors our grade put upon the Fridley school system.

That summer, Kristy and I would meet on our bikes and ride around Fridley each weekday. It was fun, however there is a twist.

I exercised a lot that summer; I haven't felt as good physically as I did when school started again for years. I remember my ten-speed bicycle. It was white and grey, no frills. It was late in my adolescence when I actually learned how to ride a bike so I never took the time to decorate it.

Kristy was a gawky teenager, just like myself. When I saw American Pie a few years later, the character of Michelle, played by Alyson Hannigan, reminded me of Kristy. Just add glasses, overly strict Baptist parents, and remove the sex craze and you had Kristy. She was first chair flute in the band with dreams of being a drum major and then had aspirations to write scores for movies, much like Danny Elfman does today.

The immediate goal of drum major came from a crush that Kristy had. She fell and fell hard for a graduated senior she termed D.S. al fine in the spirit of music.

During our previous year, Kristy dragged me to every sporting event the high school put on in the hopes of seeing DS. He was in a play and of course, we had to go. I think I saw more high school sports while I was in junior high than when I actually knew the people on the teams.

When summer came, Kristy looked up his address in the phone book and found where he lived. Since she knew where he lived, she got it into her head that she should check out his house often. Yes, that's right, I rode my bike all summer long so my 13-year old friend (she was a summer birthday) could stalk an 18-year old boy who didn't even know her name.

Being the friend that I am, I went along with her to spend time with my friend. In three months of riding past his house (read as circling his block, having her hitch and squirm each and every time the house was within sight), we saw him a grand total of 0 times. We saw his younger sister once. That's it.

No one can say Kristy is not persistent.

Kristy wanted to know when his birthday was. Here's something I'm not overly proud of. She convinced me (Beth, please? Pleeeee-aaaassss-eeee? for an hour) to call his house (pre-caller ID days) and pretend I worked for the school.

I had to act like I needed to update records and asked for the birthdays of each of the children attending the Fridley school system. The mother on the other end believed me and gave me three birthdays.

Kristy walked on Cloud 9 for about three weeks once she knew his birthday. I think it was in January. I honestly don't remember.

In the fall, school started back up and Kristy was finally allowed to go to a school dance. At our first evening dance, a boy came between us.

At the end of the evening, Rylan came up to us and asked if one of us wanted to dance. I told Kristy to dance with him, she wanted to so badly. She said yes, then chickened out. He asked me if I would dance with him then. I said yes because I didn't want to leave him standing there, rejected.

She didn't speak to me for four more years.

One week before graduation, she asked me to sign her yearbook. It was uncomfortable but I decided to try and re-establish the friendship we had. We emailed for a few months once college started but drifted apart. I hope the best for her and I fear for any other guy she fixates on.

She does nothing partially.


At 2:44 AM, Emily said...

Hi, You should Check This Out. Get a Free Flatscreen TV or LCD Monitor. Just click on link to find out more. FreeFlatScreen

At 11:34 AM, CarpeDM said...

Wow, Emily, the emotion you portray when you leave these comments about flat screen monitors, it is just so poignant. I know it's secret code for how you also are a stalker and understand completly how Kristy felt about her true love.

Beth, very funny story. I am amused. I will have to do the post about when I stalked a guy from my high school. Not so proud of it but it is kind of funny.

At 2:24 PM, Firebear said...

I have never stalked anyone. The court cleared me of those charges

At 2:57 PM, srmc said...

So let me get this straight. She stalked this guy and yet stopped talking to you because you danced with a different guy? Did I get it right? See I am slow and it takes me a bit to figure things out. LOL! Well that is junior high for you. I remember how I felt back then. Lots of good and icky stuff that maybe I should blog about.

At 3:57 PM, brooksba said...

Hello everyone,

DM - this is the second time Emily has spammed me. It's strange.

Larry - I am sure you never stalked anyone. No court could prove it.

SRMC - You're right. She was caught in the undying passion for a boy who didn't know her name but got mad at me when I danced with a mutual friend that neither of us had a thing for. It's a little crazy. I'd love to see posts on your site about junior high stories!


At 11:14 PM, Matt said...

That was great Beth! I am mazed at the strange, and sometimes scary things that we do as junior high children. I have a great story, that I will blog about after I am done with my is about a girl, and I think the clinical term for her is Bugf--k, I am not sure about that though.....
Big Brother

Monday, October 25, 2004

As promised...

I wrote a recent post about a party from my days at Bugs, the decadent pool hall where I could be found more often than my own home for a period of three years.

One of the characters from Bugs is AJ. I said he deserves his own post and here it goes.

First off, let me describe AJ. AJ is 6 foot 3 inches tall and solid. The boy has light blonde hair and big green eyes. In fact, Bobby from The Chalet kind of reminds me of AJ, they both have extremely large hands. Dana has written about Bobby and his ability to pour water. Watching the water cascade into the clear glass, seeing it drip down the side where it can be cooled by the ice floating, noticing the light dance through the clear liquid, oh wait, this post is about AJ, not water and Bobby's hands. Sorry.

AJ has a young boy's face. With the fact his hair is such a light color, his facial hair doesn't stand out and he shaves maybe once a week. As forbidding as his image first gave off, AJ is a sweet, innocent young boy. He is a guy who it would be fun to cuddle with. Don't get me wrong though, he is not completely innocent, he's just learning how to be more than a child.

AJ is shy. He would enter the pool hall quietly and speak to only those he knew. He never opens conversations with strangers. It seemed unusual for AJ to become one of the Bugs regulars, most of the Crew were open and loud. Most had no problem starting a conversation with a random stranger based on, "You're cute. Come talk to me." I have heard this phrase many a times at Bugs.

I guess AJ entered the group because a friend of his like Michelle. He had gone to high school with this friend and the Crew just accepted AJ.

AJ did end up being teased often by the Crew. As horrible as it sounds, teasing was a way to show affection at Bugs. The more teasing, the more a person was liked by the group. Each one of us had our nicknames and our running jokes. I think it bothered AJ. Actually, I know it bothered AJ.

At the time I knew him, he was starting off on the journey to independence. AJ had just moved out from his dad's place and got an apartment. For the first two months, the Crew were invited over each night after closing to watch movies. We had a wonderful time. Soon, the Crew was no longer invited over, but AJ had problems leaving the pool hall. Because of my late schedule, AJ would check to see if I wanted to go grab a bite to eat at some of the all-night restaurants.

He confided in me one night that he had gotten evicted from his apartment and was too afraid to go home to his dad's. He had been living in his truck for a week. My mom was gone for the week (business trip) and I let him sleep on the pull-out couch for a few nights. He spent most of his time at Bugs, I guess being in a pool hall is better than driving around, looking for a place to just sit and think. He got back on his feet and was homeless for only a couple of weeks. I think he ended up at his friend's house for a few days too.

AJ is deathly afraid of women. That's about the only way I can describe it. Michelle terrified him, she is so forward and blunt. She embarrassed him over and over by talking about her underwear and her sex life with whichever guy she was with at the time. Intentions aside, she scared him. Consciously, I don't think she realized she was doing it on purpose. I do know her well and I know how she likes to control people and I understand, looking back, that she was doing this to be mean and to take over his senses. Some of it was good for him, it opened him up and he was forced to deal with his phobia of women (he's not gay - don't get that here, he was just so timid and awkward around girls).

He told me one night that he wasn't afraid of me. I was unsure what he meant by this. He explained that I didn't scare him because I was his friend, I wasn't someone trying to hurt him and embarrass him.

AJ is a good guy. He's learning and his life has probably taken a different twist since I knew him, but he's a good guy at heart. It is hard to change the inside of a person. Life may throw twists and turns, but deep down, people are usually either good hearted or mean spirited. It's not as black and white as this, I'm just saying that someone who was as good as AJ was back then will probably stay that way, no matter what the outside appearances are. (Side note: I still am in contact with Michelle. She's still as controlling and she plays mind games on men like she did back then. She's not exactly mean-spirited, but her opinions of how men should treat her are still there. I'm not saying I dislike Michelle, but she's not the closest friend I have.)

Even though AJ was such a great guy, he still had his moments that I think he wishes he could take back. These upcoming stories are not to make fun of AJ, but to share some memories of my friend (and they might be a bit funny).

AJ's birthday happens to be February 29. That's right, he's a leap year baby. For his fifth birthday, I bought him a Winnie-the-Pooh coloring book and a box of crayons. He spent the entire evening coloring pictures at Bugs and giving them out.

Because he only had five birthdays at that time (he's six now), he would tell us stories of his youth and his current affairs. Each story would end with, "And I was 5." The fun part was you never knew if the story was from now or from his boyhood days.

For example, "I was fishing with my grandpa at the lake. We caught three big walleyes and cleaned them up. Dinner was fabulous that evening. And I was five." We found out later that this had happened only two months before.

I still end some stories with "And I was 5." Just for fun, just to pay homage to an old friend of mine.

I mentioned before that AJ was deathly afraid of women. One night at Bugs, this girl came in to hang out. The Crew was picky about who became regulars (I still have no clue how I made it in, I didn't really fit and that's probably why it was so easy for me to just leave the group one fateful March evening). This girl was not one that would ever fit with the group.

Here's what happened before she made her way to AJ. I was standing at the counter, talking to Michelle and Mikey (an irregular regular). This girl walks in, hair in dreadlocks, a fishing hat full of grime and she was wearing a green tank top and camouflage pants. She walks up to this group of people she has never met before and says, "I bought a new mattress." She then looks at me, while putting her hand on my arm, "You know how it is to test out the new springs, heh, heh, heh!"

Michelle and Mikey lost it. They couldn't control the gales of laughter. I stood there, wide eyed and irritated, and politely stated, "If you want a table, you can rent one." I didn't even respond to the mattress conversation and I stepped back from her touch.

Michelle rented the table to this girl. Michelle, Mikey, and I decided to play some darts and headed towards the back of the first room of the pool hall. AJ was playing a game of nine ball on the bar box (7-foot, coin-op table) at the front of the first room. He was near the jukebox.

Our love of music kicked in and Michelle, Mikey, and I each gave AJ a buck to plug into the juke and asked for some good tunes. He was standing there, punching different combinations of numbers and as Jonny Lang started singing, "Rack 'Em Up," the girl came up behind AJ. She leaned in and started touching him.

Now, I've mentioned that I don't like it when strangers touch me. AJ is the same. Except he's also deathly afraid of women.

AJ shrieked. The 6 foot 3 inch man let out a scream of horror because a 5 foot 2 inch girl touched his arm.

Michelle, Mikey, and I had all been in the back, watching AJ as he picked out the songs and noticed the girl before AJ did. One of us should have warned him, but what do you say? Do you yell across the room, "Hey, AJ, there's a girl who loves mattresses creeping up on you?"

When he screamed, she backed off. Michelle, Mikey, and I were laughing so hard, tears were pouring from our eyes. I felt so bad for AJ and still I remembered the jump he made when she touched him. He had about three feet clearance from the floor. He did laugh about it later, once his heart beat made it back to normal.

For a man deathly afraid of girls, he picked a strange job. He actually ended up becoming a bouncer (his build gave him the job, no interview needed).

Where did he get the job? At the biggest strip joint in the Twin Cities.

Yes, that's right, a man who is afraid of women decided it would be good to work around naked women all night long.

He eventually became the head bouncer. He told me once, "I don't have to touch the strippers. I only have to kick the men out who get out of control." It makes sense.

AJ told us a story about one of the nights at the strip club.

A man walked in, bleeding and beaten. He wanted to pay money to have women dance in his lap. None of the women would go near him because he was covered in dirt and none of the bouncers would touch him.

AJ had to throw the man out of the club, into the street. He doesn't know how the man had gotten go beaten up, but the man was drunk and causing a scene in a club that does not serve liquor. (No liquor = the girls can strip all the way down)

Once they got the man outside, he kept trying to come back in. They called the police and they arrived. Since the man was so dirty, the police decided that they didn't want him in a squad car and called an ambulance to take him to a local hospital.

When the medics arrived, they didn't want to touch the guy either. They actually put a plastic tarp up in the ambulance and made the man sit on that. The guy was too dirty to be put into a vehicle that carries around people bleeding!

We found the story hilarious. I'm sure there was a little more to it, but it's been years since I've heard it. I remember the final line of the story though.

AJ finished up his tale of bouncing with, "And I was five."


One night, the Crew went to dinner after closing the pool hall. There were six of us that evening: Michelle, AJ, Bob, Mouse, AJ's friend (Aron), and myself.

We had been laughing and sharing stories. There was a lull in the conversation and AJ opened his mouth, serious as a heart attack, and said, "Does anyone else condition their manly hairs?"

It was completely out of nowhere. And not the thing to say to this Crew.

Bob, Mouse, Aron, and I all sat stunned and then smiled. Bob lost control of smiling and started to laugh so hard he could barely breathe. When Bob laughed, the world laughed with him. His face would turn bright red and he would start making a sound similar to that of an old Atari game, Asteroids. You know when the space ship scuttled across the screen? It made a high pitch, e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-et sound. That's what Bob's laugh sounded like. This got Mouse and Aron going.

Michelle was sitting there, poised to attack. To embarrass AJ (who was now regretting asking what he felt was a legitimate question), she started the Inquisition.

She asked him everything. She asked, "What type of conditioner do you use?", "What type of motion do you use when you do this?" She just kept going.

I noticed as AJ started to sink in his seat. The 6'3" man seemed as small as an ant.

And yet, I still think back to him sitting there, patiently waiting for an opportunity to ask his "friends" a question about growing up.


I guess this entire post is about why I am glad I got out of Bugs before I lost who I was. I can still talk to these people, but I am thankful for the web of friends I have now. I laughed a lot when I was at Bugs. I was known as "Permagrin" and there are happy memories. And then there are memories that when I look back, I see the hurtful things people can do just to feel better about themselves.

Most of the Crew could handle the jabs and realize that the intention wasn't to hurt. Sometimes though, it did. Most of the time it didn't and Michelle was revered for her quick mouth and her strong personality.

AJ was one who didn't just let the jabs run off like water on a duck's back. Maybe that's why he and I were able to have more serious conversations than I ever had with Bob, Michelle, or Susan.

Anyone wondering why I don't call Michelle often may now understand why. She's my friend, but she's not a best friend. She's fun and I can learn some things from her (she does have some good advice in some areas), but she's not someone I NEED in my life.

Well, the funny post turned serious again. I guess that's my style.


At 10:17 AM, CarpeDM said...

I really love hearing your stories about AJ. I think it is, not so much that I want to make fun of him but just because I remember being that innocent.

I am also glad that you got away from Bugs. The more I hear about these people I also wonder how you fit in with them. You are not the type of person that makes fun of someone.

I can see why AJ would like talking with you, for the same reason I do. Sometimes I do stupid things. And while you may laugh, you would never do anything like Michelle does, you would never try to humiliate me. I don't understand people like that.

At 11:23 PM, Matt said...

Nor do I Father, nor do I. I do love that story, and yes I remember being that innocnent in life. It was nice, sometimes I try to hang on it, however once you have been tainted it is hard to go back. Beth if you ever run into AJ again, if you can let him know something for me, he is not the only one that conditions his manly hairs. When it is the only hair you have on your body, you tend to take care of it......

Big Brother

Happy Birthday Jason H!

For the rest of my life, I will always wish a happy birthday out into the great big void for Jason H. on October 25. Jason is 26 today.

You won’t see pictures of Jason here. I don’t know what he’s doing in his life right now, but I do remember him fondly every year on this day.

I guess Jason could be described as my first crush. I met him when I was six going on seven. It was Grade 2. I think all crushes in my life are based on him.

My friendship with Jason started when we were in the same class at elementary school. He just moved to our district halfway through the year before and I got to meet him at the bus stop the first day of second grade. We sat near each other in class; we spoke often. Jason and I had so much in common.

We were the exact same height all the way through elementary school. We both had the same deep blonde hair. Our eye colors are the same. He could have been a long-lost fraternal twin. We lived about two blocks from each other (only by defining blocks are groups of condos or townhouses, pick your word for it).

During the winter, Jason was allowed to open up his garage right next to the bus stop for all the kids to hang out in until the bus arrived. During the autumn and spring, all of us kids would play tag and other games I could no longer come up with the rules in the large field next to our bus stop. When the first snow would appear, the boys at the bus stop would try to play King of the Mountain on the large snow piles the plows made. The boys would try to whitewash the girls by pushing them into the snow. I stood up to the boys and defended the girls. I was able to tell Jason to not even try and he never did. Hey, the boy listened.

When I went to the school to see who was in my classes for grades 3, 4, and 5, I found Jason’s name listed every year. This wasn’t so bad.

Jason and I competed over everything. We would compete in sports. I played basketball for a couple of years and we tried to see whose team had better win records. We would play HORSE for hours, trying to be the winner. (For those who don’t know, HORSE is a game where you make baskets and if you make one, the other person has to try the same shot. If they don’t make it, they get a letter of the word horse. Whoever spells the word first, loses.) We were both in the same karate class in 3rd grade. We both made it past the first belt.

One of the major influences Jason had on my life was bowling. He joined a bowling league in 3rd grade. When 4th grade came, I joined as well. I was in leagues until a couple of years ago. I have many stories that root from bowling. Heck, if I really wanted to say it, I joined bowling because of Jason, ended up dating a guy in my senior year from bowling who told me to work at a bank, I applied at NABABNA and therefore I know DM, Keem, Matt, Scott, and Adam. I also know Katie and Troy through NABABNA. Joining bowling ended up setting so many things in my life on course.

Jason and I would play video games (Atari at first and then on the first Nintendo system) for hours in the afternoons. When the sun set my parents or his mom would tell the visitor it was time to go home. If we were at Jason’s house, he would walk me home. Once at my house, I would then need to walk him home. This would go on for about two hours and then a parent would drive us the two blocks.

I remember going over to Jason’s to dye Easter eggs one year. I remember Trick-or-Treating with him each year for Halloween. In fifth grade, my mom gave me four tickets to see New Kids on the Block (hey, I was turning 11 and they were cool). She told me I could bring two friends to the concert. I brought Jason as one of the friends. We had a wonderful time, screaming until our throats no longer worked and then we each had the next day off of school. We went bowling. I remember that.

Jason’s birthday is the day before mine. We competed over this too. Each year, we tried to get presents early to be able to be the first to celebrate. My parents consistently gave me gifts on the 24th of October, just so I could "brag" to Jason on his birthday. We would compete over what we got as gifts. We also competed the same way at Christmas time.

Neither of us have any siblings and he helped me form my definition of friendship. It is a little different for only children. You can be content to be by yourself but when you do need someone, there is no sister or brother to call on. You HAVE to make close friends. You HAVE to have a network of people to rely on. I form strong friendships that are closer to family relationships. I still do this. Having Jason as a friend for all those years helps this.

In junior high and high school, I didn’t have every class with Jason. He was in my math class each year (advanced program) and I still talked to him, although nothing like our younger days. We always got along; we never fought. The crush was not a bad one, it was just that here was a boy I spent most of my time with. I admire Jason. I always will. He is sweet, decent, and strong.

Jason and I ended up going to the same university when we graduated high school. I would run into him (amongst the 40,000 other students) and we would stop and chat for about an hour.
A couple of years ago, my dad ran into Jason at the store while buying a birthday card. This young man walked up to him and carefully said, "Hi, aren’t you Beth’s dad?" It turned out Jason’s girlfriend (and maybe wife now) has the same birthday as he does. I had heard in high school that he kept dating girls that had their birthdays between October 24 and October 27. It seems he found a pattern in his life too. My dad passed on the hello and happy birthday from Jason.

I hope my old friend is doing well out there in this big world. He’s a great guy and I wish him all the happiness in the world.


At 7:57 AM, CarpeDM said...

This was very sweet. Happy Birthday, Jason H.

At 11:29 PM, Matt said...

And you sometimes wonder why so many people find you amazing Little Sister. This was a very sweet post, I hope Jason is able to stumble across it somehow, I would be so touched to knwo that a person I knew had so many good things to say about me. Happy Birthday Jason, thank you for being there for my Little Sister before she discoverd she had a Big Brother, that means a lot to me.

The shirt may not be red...

Here's the picture that made it to the blog tonight of myself.

The shirt is not red, but maybe the scope of the "rack" is shown in light here. Dana and I had a good time at karaoke, although there is not a major update.

Katie and Troy joined us for a couple of hours and it was great to spend time with them. We always love it when we get the opportunity to sit and chat.

It was a slow Sunday at The Chalet. Bryan, the jovial karaoke host, reminded us that the Vikings game was an afternoon one and it was a fairly decent October day here in Minnesota. This usually indicates a slow karaoke night. He actually waited until the World Series game 2 was over before starting the show up. I didn't mind, it was nice to sit and talk.

There was a table of people sitting behind us with a couple of good singers and a couple of not-so-good singers. One scary individual decided to sing a song about sex (Paradise By the Dashboard) which is quite long. He kept singing it as "Bashdoard" and the overly disturbing part was the fact he sang the song with his MOTHER! Um, maybe I'm missing something here, but I don't want to sing a 10+ minute song about having sex with one of my parents. Icky!

The scary individual also felt the need to touch me. He kept getting close to me and he grabbed my hand at one point. I wanted to scream. I pulled my hand away and got really uncomfortable when he started leaning into me. I have no interest what-so-ever in a random drunk guy trying to wipe his sweat onto me. It was gross.

The scary guy ended up getting into a fight with his sister and her boyfriend at the bar. Then he left. I was happy about that.

For those reading this to find a "THE BOY" update, I'm sorry to disappoint you. I am disappointed myself. He didn't show up.

After the long week of hoping, running at work, worrying about the next couple of days, and statistics, I really wanted to have a smile tonight. I found myself looking forward to seeing THE BOY more than I told myself and I am a little bummed right now. I'll get over it, there's no doubt about that.

I am tired and I just did about two hours worth of stats homework. I don't work again until Thursday and I hope these next couple of days will be fun. They are going to be hard for me. That's about all I can say right now about the subject.

On a positive note, I got presents today. My dad gave me a laser. I can mount it to a wall and hang pictures using the line. It even goes around corners. It is the coolest thing. The laser also comes with a laser tape measure that can give me the cubic measurements of any room. I have no need for either of these things, but they are so COOL!

The other gift I got is a necklace. I'm wearing it in the picture above. My parents took an opal (my birthstone) that my godmother gave me years ago and had it placed into a setting. The stone hangs on a chain that I'm pretty sure is white gold. It is a gift for my golden birthday.

I remember thinking when I was about 6 or 7 how cool my golden birthday would be. Birthdays are better when you're a kid. Now, it's just another day of the year, another way to mark the passing of time. I like individual days more and I just like spending time with my friends. I try to down-play my birthday each year and this year is no exception.

That's all folks. Enjoy the picture of Dana below too. She got a new shirt and a new bra and she walked with an air of confidence tonight. Thank you Dana for being so totally awesome and letting me sit in my funk. I needed a little of it tonight.


At 1:43 PM, Firebear said...


At 1:51 PM, The Lioness said...

I'll say it for you F.: dahling, I love your boobs, nice d├ęcoletage!!! I am in shock though, the other pic was so small i couldn't quite see your face so I filled in the blanks - wrongly! And i was looking at you and thinking: "Who is this person? What have they done to Beth??? Bring her back now!" Do you know, you could be Dutch! Nice fiery hair! V. pretty pic, yes indeed.

At 1:57 PM, The Lioness said...

Sorry, hell, I was so thrilled with the room w a view I forgot to add: it's a shame abt THE BOY. It'd have been a nice birthday present!

At 3:49 PM, brooksba said...

Firebear -
I hope you enjoyed the pictures. Thanks for the Happy Birthday.

Lioness -

Thank you about THE BOY. I would have enjoyed it, but maybe next week.

About the being Dutch comment: I am from mixed decent but I'm a full 1/4 Swede. The rest are: German, English, a minute French, a minute Scottish, and then a long line that's been in America since the Revolutionary War. Since most of my ancestry is Northern European, I burn quickly in the sun and my eyes are overly sensitive to the sun.

I will post another picture of Dana (the one at the table) if she's okay with it. I caught it odd and she's not really smiling.

At 7:48 AM, CarpeDM said...

I too am sorry about THE BOY and would have commented yesterday but the phone rang and Keem wouldn't let me back on the computer again. My computer privledges were revoked! Dang it.

Yeah, go ahead with the picture.

At 9:25 AM, Firebear said...

mmmmmmmmmmmm Cleavage!
(had to say it, i couldn't hold it in anymore!)

At 11:35 PM, Matt said...


This is Matt, now I want you to know something before you read the rest of this, I am typing this as your friend, and not your brother, with that said....

THE BOY missed out on quite a NICE-UH show on Sunday. That new bra is amazing, and you looked absolutely gorgeous. Your "rack" was displayed quite nicely...I am surprised that there is not a story from karoke about THE HOST saying anything about it.

I would like to say that Uncle LArry is right, it is hard to comment about this without sounding too much like a pervert...the kind of family memebers that the children are supposed to stay away from.....


At 4:07 PM, Firebear said...

Yep, glad to see it isn't just me! thanks Matt!

Karaoke Update - Dana singing. This shirt is just lovely! Go Dana!


At 1:53 PM, The Lioness said...

DM, dahling, you think one day I'll be able to ACTUALLY SEE YOUR MOUTH??? There's always a microphone stuck there! Cool shirt, like the crisscrossing AND the colour!

At 5:04 PM, CarpeDM said...

Actually, it's not the mouth that is being blocked, it is the horrendous double chin that, with the dimple right in the middle of chin #1, seriously looks like God decided to say "Hey, Dana, it's not enough that your ass is the size of Kansas. You need to have another one on your face."

I have a feeling I'm going to get smacked for this comment. Okay, it's not that bad but sometimes, at a certain angle, it looks pretty weird. But for you, I will smile prettily without a microphone. Maybe next week.

At 11:37 PM, Matt said...


I don't think you have an ass face, I think it is quite beautiful. However, if you want to insist on calling your face an ass, the next time someone says "Hey Nice Ass!", you could look at them politely and thank them for completing your face.

Your Balnd and Insane Son,


Sunday, October 24, 2004

Getting Ready for Karaoke

Okay, it's my turn to blog while DM is in the shower, getting ready for karaoke.

I'm sitting here and waiting for my hair to dry off a little. I was chicken last week and didn't go overboard (read as I went to karaoke sans the red shirt). Well, I'm not wearing red this week, but that probably won't be a problem.

Oh my God! I put on the bra I bought this week and the lower cut shirt I got. Let's just say this, "I CAN'T SEE MY FEET!" I can, however, see my stomach through my cleavage. Until I walk. And then "they" start gravitating towards each other.

I don't have any clue what THE BOY will think of this outfit and I'm a little afraid of the reaction it may cause amongst the other patrons of The Chalet, but I'm going for it tonight.

There will be pictures tonight. My birthday is on Tuesday and so I get the excuse of taking TONS of photos. I'm hoping to get a couple of THE BOY (preferably when I'm sitting in his lap - oh, wait, I digress) and even though the shirt is not red, there will probably be a picture or two to show what I'm talking about.

Oh God, I'm so afraid.

I feel like a trashy, motorcycle beauty. I don't know why.

I will post about Bree Sharp later this week. I have a FOUR DAY WEEKEND!


At 8:27 PM, CarpeDM said...

I think we're both channeling our inner trashy motorcycle beauty. Except I am a trashy Grandma Spider beauty and you are a trashy stock broker beauty.

Thank you, Bree Sharp, for your songs of power and strength and making me glad to be a woman. Thank you, Beth, for introducing me to Bree Sharp and Melissa Etheridge, two women who seriously rock.

Let the good times roll. I am prepared to break hearts and take names.

Don't Eat the Fruit

This weekend at work, a young co-worker expressed her joys of going to a college party where the beverage of choice would be WOPATUI. She said it with the wide-eyed, innocence of a post-teen who hasn't realized yet just how much fun life can be without the consumption of large amounts of alcohol.

It reminded me of a party I attended a few years back in my wild-ride, pool "hustling" days. I love to play billiards, I do. The game amuses me and I get a confident stride when I walk into the smokey atmosphere where boys pretend to be men and the hard rock plays, interspersed with blues and jazz. The dark corners are broken by beams of light, the green felt on the marble tables calls to me. The call was stronger in my younger days, in fact it called to me each evening. I found myself leaving work and jaunting to the local pool hall, forever named Bugs in this blog.

Bugs was a place where everyone knew my name. I found my own personal version of Cheers, that Bostonian bar where millions of families watched as Sam and Diane tried to find the balance of sanity in their insane worlds. We had our own cast of characters.

We have:

Bob - the jovial comic who loved to coin phrases such as Window-Licking (yes, Matt's blog has roots from this man)
Mouse - the scary man who hit on me after telling me he beat up his cat
Uncle Ga-ga - The perpetually pregnant man who cleaned his ears with his car keys (yes, the links for Mouse and Uncle Ga-ga are the same link)
AJ - stories to come about AJ - he deserves his own post
Susan - the fun loving girl whose "rack" drew more attention than mine
Michelle - a strong woman who I learned the art of winning an argument who also dated some interesting characters
Dennis - well, I don't like Dennis anymore (since I passed out at a party (when I still drank) and awoke to find Dennis being "friendly" with his hands and my "rack")
Mr. Clean - who wasn't clean, at all. He was just bald. And a jerk. And actually the reason I no longer can be considered a regular at Bugs.
Jessie - one of Mr. Clean's exes and a member of the "Big Tittie Committee"

At the time, Susan was a college student and was going to spend a year studying at an all-deaf university. She would be one of 8 hearing students at that university and the Bugs Crew decided to throw a going-away bash for her. It was my introduction to WOPATUI. Wopatui is a mixture of all forms of alcohol, fruit punch, and to help increase the affect and the taste, fruit is cut up to soak in the liquid.

Here's the thing, if wopatui is made correctly, it is quite potent and easy to drink. It tastes like fruit punch. I like fruit punch.

The party for Susan started while I was working at NABABNA. I got off of work to join the Crew, five hours after the volleyball, video-taped extravaganza began. When I arrived, the patrons were jovial and I decided the wop would quench my thirst.

Like an idiot, I decided to drink 6 glasses of this drink and I was hungry too. I ate the fruit.

Not a good plan. Bob was madly in love with Susan and she was the only oblivious one. To express his desires to see her without coverage, he bought a brand new camcorder. The Crew made a good-bye tape for Susan and many things I forgot about (and things I remembered) were on this tape.

Oh, the horrors. The tape is truly embarrassing to watch.

Once the fruit reached my stomach, my brain shut off. This is in no way a chronological recant of the evening I met WOP and decided to break it off quickly, but it is more random images replaying in my mind whenever someone mentions WOPATUI.

Welcome to N'Sync Fans Anonymous.

Hello, my name is Beth and I have been N'Sync free for two years, seven months, and eight days.

I knew I reached my breaking point when I watched the video of my friend Susan and I doing our rendition of Bye, Bye, Bye at a wop party. I heard the clunk of my heels on the cement garage floor, pounding out the beat of the song with authority. The head shake and the waving made me look oh so sexy and wasted.

I was a closet N'Sync fan. There, I admitted it.

There was the moment when the woman I FEARED, Michelle, cut me off from the fruit and the wondrous beverage. She told me to "Drink at least four glasses of water before anything else." I took my life in my drunken hands and told her, "No!" as defiant as a child in a department store.

I stopped drinking the wop right then and there.

I told random strangers all about the problems in my life. Alcohol and Beth don't mix. There were moments on the video tape of myself and two other people I might remember their names (only because they are stated on the video) in a corner where I announced, as if I were giving an election speech without a microphone to a congregation of voters, all the feelings I had held inside about my parents' recent divorce.

The dreaded "Big Tittie Committee" picture. I have a photo of the Bugs Crew women all lifting their "racks" to the world. (I was NOT the only wasted one at this party.)

Michelle's lap dance for Bob. Even though he had undying passion for Susan, Bob couldn't stand up from his chair or remove the ear-to-ear grin after the tall, size four, beautiful woman gave him his fantasy dance.

And the best part of the video, maybe the only thing worth watching again:

A young boy, a bible college boy, strutting his stuff with a plastic yard chair to R. Kelly. He did a strip-tease dance while grinding against this lucky piece of plastic. The Bugs Crew women lined up against the wall, all hooting and hollering for more. Out of four rolls of film from this party (everyone's cameras), three of them were filled with pictures of this platinum blonde boy losing his clothing and bending in ways we all admired.

After the song ended, Bob and Dennis each lit up a cigarette and had a moment. Who needs Chip 'N Dales?

The Crew all wound down and moved the festivities inside. Most of us fell asleep on the couches in Michelle's den while watching the video of the party again and again.

There were fun moments in the night and moments that cloud my memory of how fun the Bugs Crew could be. Luckily, I avoided having Uncle Ga-ga pinch my nipples (this took work) and avoided Mouse's advances. Mr. Clean kept to himself that evening, taking shots of tequila (he didn't have it come out his nose until a later party) and feeling dejected because none of the Big Tittie Committee wanted to see him lick his eyebrows. Jessie had already been influenced by this one in the past.

Oh God, I just remembered having Dennis eat the fruit. I really wish it hadn't been in my mouth at the time. Oh, and when Jessie did the same thing. With Dennis and myself. It was like a 60's love-in for awhile.

Do you see why I don't drink anymore?

To come in the soon-to-be future, the story of the man who is always going to be 5 and his manly hairs.


At 5:49 AM, CarpeDM said...

This is a lovely cautionary tale of the evils of fruit and liquor mixed together. Fruit is bad. Especially when it has a face and is leering at you from a billboard.

I am glad you have finally admitted your addiction to N'Sync. I have heard that there is finally a 12-Step Program for those under the spell of Boy Bands.

I remember when you brought the tape out to show us one night and how we watched the "Chair Dance" (as it will always be known to us) over and over and over again. My, that was a lucky, lucky chair.

And I think that the moral of this story, how you should not eat the fruit, was displayed quite well in this sentence "Oh God, I just remembered having Dennis eat the fruit. I really wish it hadn't been in my mouth at the time." A clear message for all on why fruit is the devil.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Fun Link

Okay, I've linked this before, but there's a new post and I lost it.

Beware, the picture is a little scary, but check out the blog entry from October 20th. It's Stephen Page (from Barenaked Ladies - for those who have no clue who he is (you should know who he is, he's a ROCK GOD and I love him (but not in that weird, stalker kind of way (well, that's too many parentheses)))) and he's talking about Celine Dion. It's just great.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

"Ah crap honey. The dog just exploded."

I have absolutely no clue where that thought just came from. I can say the thought caused me to run around my apartment (I want to call it a flat - just for fun) looking for an old notebook that we used to keep scores in while playing cards.

"Why?" Ask, seriously, it's okay. Even if you don't ask, I'm going to tell you.

I was looking for this notebook because Keem, Dana, Matt, and I would write down random half heard conversations from the restaurant where we played cards. We still do this occasionally. I'm trying to remember them. I want Dana to post her wireless commercial. I don't think she's done this one yet. Sorry, random.

So I'm sitting here trying to remember the overheard conversations (because I have no clue where the notebook is), and all I can remember is,

"Dude, I must have took them for at least two dollars worth of creamers." I think the people were talking about Wall-Drug.

I do remember laughing hysterically with Keem, Dana, and Matt. These are good thoughts.

Okay, who has more overheard conversations that made you smile? I want stories and I'm going to try and find this notebook!


At 7:46 AM, CarpeDM said...

Wait. Dog? What dog? I am confused.


I wrote yesterday about Floor Walking - the new system for helping bankers at work. We are no longer attached to our phones all day long, we [the helpers] get to walk up to the banker's desk, look at their computer screen, and answer the question.

I am insane. Most of the other helpers just meander over to the banker's desk and point out the answer. I, for some strange reason, am given a boost of energy each time my pager goes off and I run, full out sprint, over to the banker's desk. Why? No clue. Well, that's not true. I want to help the banker's quickly so I can get on to other stuff and they don't have to wait.

My boss was appreciative of the energy and running. He's happy to see someone excited to help the bankers (and he gets a kick out of how I scream EVERY time the pager starts vibrating, "Ah!" - I sound like a bird) and he thinks it increases the positive atmosphere at work.

I am excited because I'm sure I'll lose weight running around work for 3 1/2 - 4 hours a day. Seriously, it's like a constant exercise program. I burned so many calories that I found myself STARVING (okay, maybe not starving, but really, REALLY hungry) by 7 PM. I found out tonight that I can make it to Chipotle and back (no time to eat though) in 32 minutes. I may have driven a little fast. But I also ran to my car. The food was so good when I got back to work.

I haven't been sleeping well or having much of an appetite since THE BOY sat by me at karaoke that fateful Sunday night. I can't believe I'm gushing over this as long as I have. I feel like I'm back in the 9th grade. I giggled and I blushed when someone asked me today how Sunday had gone. It's pathetic (and still fun!).

Why did I mention THE BOY again? Oh yeah, because of the food. Since I haven't had much of an appetite, I haven't been eating overly large meals. Yes, this is terrible. It's not that I want to lose weight (which, I do, but it's not a priority in my life) or that I don't like food. It's just that I'm forgetting to eat. I swear, just thinking of this guy will drop my I.Q. 100 points. So I forget to eat. I need to be better at this.

But running around made me realize how hungry I was. So I went to Chipotle and got three soft shell steak tacos. So simple, yet so satisfying. I swear, it took me about 4 minutes to eat them. And I wished I had gotten 2 orders! Eke! The meal was delicious tonight.

Back to the running at work. The exercise is definitely taking affect. I don't notice any changes (yet), but I do feel the workout. My calves are tight (and adding the fact I'm running around in big, chunky 3-inch heel boots increases the workout). My thighs are feeling the motion. The most pain is in my stomach. Who would have thought running would make my abs hurt? But this is a good thing, so I'll keep pushing myself at work, using my time to do my job AND workout.

The whole not sleeping much may have to do with THE BOY or it may have to do with statistics. I think it's a little of both. I can't fall asleep because I'm so excited about going to karaoke again on Sunday. When I finally do fall asleep, I keep dreaming about statistics! It's evil. The dreams are so boring I wake up. And then I think about THE BOY again. I have never had this much trouble sleeping in my life and I feel for anyone who goes through this on a regular basis. It's rough.

That's all for now. I wish I could think of a good story to post about. DM, Matt, and Keem, any good ideas?


At 6:47 AM, CarpeDM said...

Yikes. Great exercise for you but I'm laughing over the "Ah!" every time the pager vibrates. Very funny.

Mmm, Chipolte. Yum.

I can't wait for Sunday! You get to see THE BOY! I get to drink Diet Coke with a slice of lime! Life is good!

At 6:47 PM, Matt said...

Little Sister,
The whole working out and getting paid thing for it is awesome, I used to do that when I worked for UPS.

I second the Chipotle, Yum comment from DM, that shnizzile the bomb diggity!

I cannot think of any stories for you right now.

I am sorry.

Are The Queens coming out to play tonight?

Big Brother

At 7:33 PM, CarpeDM said...

Of course they are. What else would the queens do on a Friday night?

At 10:55 AM, Anonymous said...

Trouble sleeping, you poor thing. I hope The Boy will be kind enough to give you MORE reasons to saty awake tomorrow.

STOP mentioning food items I can't get here anyway!!! Argh!

At 7:25 PM, angelia said...

you are too funny for words

Not so deep thoughts

I have no clue what to write about tonight, so I'm just going to start typing. I'll see what comes out.

At work tonight, we started a new system for the specialists to answer questions. We used to have bankers call the helpline and the helpers were at their desks. Now we have a system involving pagers and we walk around the floor, answering the pages and questions. I got quite a workout today! I'm happy about the 3 1/2 hours of running around I did tonight. I'm tired, but energized at the same time.

I'm still excited to go to karaoke on Sunday night. I can barely think of anything else. When I got to work today, Adam had emailed me asking how last Sunday went. I guess he didn't read the post. I told him about the song and my thoughts on it. Of course, I smiled while remembering the events of the night.

I don't have any immediate assignments due for statistics and this is a good thing. I should work ahead and not kill myself over this up-coming weekend. I get four days off in a row and I'm thrilled. I'm going out to dinner with my dad and Dana on Sunday, then to karaoke. I don't know what I have planned for Monday or Wednesday, but I'm going to dinner with my mom and her boyfriend on Tuesday night. Her boyfriend is taking me to Manny's, a steakhouse here in the Twin Cities. (It's a birthday present.)

Some moron has been posting anonymous comments on Dana's blog. He called us fat. I'm so afraid. Man, I guess my chances with the random Internet guy are gone forever. *Rolling eyes.* I'm really curious if he's just into fat chicks, since he seems to keep coming back. Whatever. Dana knows she's got many fans and this guy is just a jerk. I feel sorry for him. I do. I'm not being funny here. The guy really has nothing better to do than to insult someone and doesn't have the guts to reveal his identity. He must be lacking something in his life, like great friends who care about him and actually care what he thinks.

I spoke to a woman who threatened to call Channel 9 today. She doesn't bank with NABABNA and her bank denied a fraud claim that she did. She must live in another state because Channel 9 isn't known for news around here.

A banker at work started singing part of "Tom's Diner" tonight and I had to laugh. This song has a lot of "doot doot doot"s in it. It gets caught in people's heads easily and the banker made a point about how to get songs out of your head. Anytime she gets a tune stuck in her head, she thinks of Mary Tyler Moore and the theme song from that show.

The theme song is actually called, "Love is All Around." It starts with, "Who can turn the world on with her smile?" Most people can't remember the rest and so the new song doesn't get stuck in their heads but it is recognizable enough to get rid of other songs.

I told her to write a thesis about her theory. Hey, I'd read it! *Smile*

I actually found the lyrics to this theme song and many other TV themes at: Theme Song Lyrics. I never thought I would search for this, but hey, it came in handy tonight.

Speaking of searches, I have a couple of random searches on how my blog was found. I enjoyed these.

The first search was: "Brian Wilson died" lyrics. I did a post once about this song by BNL and how people confuse the words.

The second search was: Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum costumes. I did a post about Halloween one year and the costumes my mom made. I'm sorry that I didn't have more information for this person. The costumes weren't that hard to make, I hope they find luck in either making their own or other sites that maybe they can purchase the costumes at.

One of the bankers on my team lent me a movie that he keeps talking about. It's Tears of the Sun. Has anyone seen this one? I think I'm going to cry when I watch it.

And really cool - Ed Wood was just released on DVD! I love this movie, don't ask me why. It's fun, silly, and just a joy to watch. I'm excited. I guess it came out yesterday.

That's all folks!


At 12:05 PM, CarpeDM said...

Hey, Beth. I am excited about karaoke as well! Yay, karaoke!

Trying to comment quick while I'm on lunch. It has been busy and I've not had a lot of time between calls. It is very sad.

Anyway, have fun with your workout at work. I'll try to post more either today or tomorrow.

At 2:46 PM, Firebear said...

I love Ed Wood, though the x-rated Rod wood did not have the same character developement.