Another dating disaster

Some of my recent posts have been about the dating disasters in my life. I'm not good at it. Who knows why? Is it me? Is it the guys I find attractive? Is it that something better is supposed to be coming? In the spirit of my recent posts, I'm going to share my experiences with a boy I dated for awhile in high school.

Harry was good looking. I mean he was the boy all the girls swooned over. He was intelligent, funny, fit, and nice to look at. Notice I didn't mention decent human being.

As smart as Harry was, he did some stupid stuff. He was smart, I want to point that out. He aced classes at school without any effort and sometimes this is the worst factor in making a guy want to push boundaries. When one is bored, one looks for something to do.

Harry's mother had to deal with the police one day because her son had been seen throwing vinyl records from their roof at people walking by. He was trying to see if albums could fly like freesbies. He almost decapitated someone. So the police showed up on the front stoop.

I was eighteen when I dated Harry. He was seventeen so there were things he couldn't do and wanted to. One night, we stopped at the video store for a movie and he tried to convince me to rent porn. Not being into porn, I declined his request. His cousin, fifteen and tagging along since he couldn't drive, found some educational videos that they could rent. The boys rented a video about breast feeding.

What were they thinking? Breast feeding is not erotic. This should have been evident in the fact that they could rent it without being eighteen. (And I don't know why seventeen-year olds can't rent porn. They can see rated R movies, but whatever.) The boys did not make it very far into the video and even if they didn't really learn about breast feeding, they learned about what not to watch.

As the school year drew towards the end, Harry and I went out to the drive-in one night. His cousin, Brett, came along, but didn't want to pay the lousy $5 to get in. He rode in the trunk of the car (I can't believe I participated in this - I'm shaking my head still when I think about it) and then walked home after the first movie. That left Harry and I with two movies to get cozy.

Did we?

What do you think?

The movies we saw that night were, as follows: Liar, Liar, Dante's Peak, and Daylight. As much as I don't really like Jim Carrey, Liar, Liar was the best of the films. Dante's Peak wasn't too bad and Daylight was terrible. Unfortunately, I know how the movies were. That's because we watched them. Sitting silently in the car, we watched the movies. We did not even hold hands during this.

You might ask, did Harry even want to do anything? I know the answer is yes due to the fact his father gave him away before we even left for the drive-in. When he found out where we were going for the evening, he turned to his friend and stated, "Oh, they're going to the passion pit [and about 5 more phrases I don't remember]."

Harry, embarrassed, tried to rush me out of the room quickly. His dad's friend asked, "Are these two an item?"

His dad replies, "Yes, but he hasn't made a move yet. These two lovebirds haven't even kissed."

Knowing this conversation, which means I know Harry has spoken to his father about us, I sat in a cold car watching Daylight at 2:30 in the morning, doing nothing. The movie ended and we went home.

A few weeks later, Harry and I had our night of indiscretion. Thankfully (looking back), we did not go so far as regrettable activities, but we did express our feelings for each other.

Let me make this clear right now. I did not love Harry in any way. I liked him a lot (remember, he was funny, smart, and nice to look at). We were stupid teenagers caught up in our hormones (and even though I know it was not legal, some alcohol may have been involved).

Come to think about it, alcohol and I are not a good combination. I get flirty (which normally my logical side prohibits this). One good thing I can say for myself is that even with alcohol, I always hit a point where I know alcohol is the factor driving me and I stop what is about to happen. I don't drink anymore unless it is the once in a blue moon Mudslide from T.G.I.Friday's. I don't really like the taste of alcohol. I prefer Coca-Cola, straight up.

After the night of drunken groping, Harry and I started to drift apart. The tension had passed. We both knew how the other felt and that it wouldn't work. We tried for a few more weeks after that. My graduation party was the final stroke of bad times.

As with most grad parties (at least from my experience), my parents let me have a few wine coolers. Remember how I react to alcohol? Let's just say I got a little flirty again, this time in front of the majority of my family and all of my friends. Harry and I started with a grass fight. My dad had just mowed the lawn and we picked up the chunks of grass and started throwing them at each other.

Why didn't we stop there? Why?

Next came the water fight. The hose and water buckets were used and soon we were soaked.

Then we moved inside. Magic markers were found and soon we were drawing all over each other. As embarrassing as this is, I'll just say, I didn't win. Hey, he had siblings and I'm an only child. I'm not good at horsing around.

My own mother made some comment about this being foreplay. It probably was, but luckily it didn't lead up to anything. He killed the mood later that evening.

After the party and after we got cleaned up, I went to his house so we could then go out. He made a comment that infuriated me. His views on diversity are not the same as mine. I left. Remember when I said he wasn't a decent human being? The comment he made that night was what proved it to me. I'm not going to share the comment here, but I will share his sister's response. She is a decent human being. Her response to him was, "Harry, how can you say that? Not only have our parents taught us differently, but we are also half Native American. We should have an understanding of diversity." He scoffed and that was it for our relationship.

I heard from him one more time. He called me one day to ask if I would buy some book for him that he wasn't quite old enough to purchase himself. I declined and we never spoke again.

I have seen him a few times since that evening, but I've always avoided conversation. Since he was just a guy I knew once, I don't feel too bad about dropping his 'friendship'. He was pretty to look at though.

Now, being the positive person I try to always be, I can be thankful for knowing Harry. There are things in my life that I wouldn't have today if it weren't for him.

Harry is the one who introduced me to a pool hall where I made a few great friends that I enjoy spending time with today. I made many memories in that pool hall and I wouldn't have gone there if it wasn't for him.

Harry, in that drunken night, made me feel special as a female. I have problems with my confidence in being seen as anything more than "the smart one" or "the responsible one" or "the one you can talk to". I know this sounds shallow, but the fact that he was interested in me for more than friendship made me feel a little bit special. It doesn't mean that I want anything to do with him today.

Harry also gave me advice to look for a job at a bank. At that point of my life, I didn't think I could work for a bank. I decided to give it a shot and was hired. I now have a job I love and my closest friends are all people I met through working at the bank. I have three friends in my life that I didn't meet through the bank. So, I'm thankful for knowing him and the advice he gave me over seven years ago. I'm not good at dating, but I guess I can handle a whole lot of friendship until I find that one who touches my heart and can accept all of my friends.

2 Comments:

At 11:32 AM, CarpeDM said...

Harry is the type of guy that if you said "God, what an ass" to him, he would think it was a compliment.

I'm glad he mentioned the bank to you. Without you, there would be no NABABNA. Well, okay, it would still be there, but it wouldn't be as special.

At 4:57 PM, Matt said...

Well one of the best things in the world that had come out of all of this is the fact that had he never have metnioned the bank to you, you would never have discovered the long lost family that you found there. And I would never have gotten to know my little sister without those words of advice, so thankfully, he did give you one good thing to always remember. Talk to you later Sis.
Me