School Shopping Extravaganza!

No, I was not school shopping tonight. I'll do that closer to when my classes start back up again. What I did do was stop at a retail store before meeting some friends for food (and having to wish someone good luck with their cross-country move. I'll miss you lots Cindy!) The number of families with little kids running around the store reminded me of those back-to-school days of shopping with my mom. I love shopping for and buying school supplies. This is something I've discussed before (Writing Utensil Update). It is frightening how much I love paper, pens, pencils, binders, etc. This may be why my job at the office supply store put no money in my pockets. I digress.

There are about 8 mazillion (yes, I made up a word. This is from karaoke one night and I don't know how much a mazillion is, but I'm sure it's a lot) kids running around the office supplies aisle. I dodge a couple as I grab two notebooks (one for score keeping while playing cards and one to carry around in my purse for notes). I stop over in the toys area to pick up a couple of decks of cards to replace the Coca-Cola cards I bought in Vegas last March. Since I only have four items and since the store has been overrun by families purchasing carts full of paper, crayons, rulers, etc., I decide the express lane is a good idea.

This was my first mistake.

I am third in line to check out. The gentleman in front of me has three items, dog food and a couple of small things I didn't quite register. The woman in front of him has seven, yes SEVEN, children with her. In the check out aisle for ten or less items this woman decided to purchase $140 worth of school supplies. Notebooks don't cost $14 each. Obviously, this woman cannot count to ten. Maybe she should go back to school with her children.

I am not bothered about how much this woman is purchasing, I'm just explaining that she's in the check out lane for ten items or less. This might bother some people. Such as the woman who stood behind me.

This woman runs up behind me, ready to run a marathon, complete with the lycra biker shorts and black tank top. Her pseudo-brown hair hangs from her hair in snarls. In her right hand is a cigarette, previously lit, but obviously not finished. Her left hand holds a $5 bill. Knowing the line I'm standing in is closest to the cigarette racks, I'm sure she needed to buy a pack of cigarettes.

Biker chick stood behind me, rocking back and forth. As we stood there, her definition of personal space and mine collided. I guess the crappy merchandise in the end caps has the power to become the most fascinating images on the planet while waiting in line. She needed, couldn't live without, to put her chin over my shoulder to look at the lollipops on sale at this time. Waiting the two minutes it would take to move forward in line was too much to ask. She became my own personal "space invader". Her arm lunges out and grasps this bag of candy on top of the rack.

The woman with seven kids is now paying for her stuff. Here is what I heard:

"F*ck! I'm like the world's most impatient person. F*ck, my stomach hurts. Oh!!!! What's the cashier doing?"

Here is my next mistake, I responded. "It appears the cashier is providing change to the customer."

"F*ck! This is taking too long. Hurry up!"

Thankfully, the line moved forward and I was quickly away from the retail store, scared from this woman and scared for anyone who has to deal with her. I'm wondering how she's made it this far in life that she can't handle being in line for five minutes.

3 Comments:

At 9:07 AM, CarpeDM said...

"It appears the cashier is providing change to the customer."

God, I love you. I got this flash of our whole Star Trek thing and could imagine this.

"Fascinating, captain. It appears that this human is suffering from an inability to recognize what people are doing. Let me explain this to her in a logical fashion."

Mmm, notebooks. I love back to school as well. If it weren't for all the damn kids.

At 3:20 PM, Matt said...

Yes, for some reason I am also bothered by the kids running around the aisles, thank God I don't have any......wait I do. Never mind.

As for the whole Star Trek thing: "Damn it Spock, can you not.....just for once.....harsh my buzz" I just needed to do it.

I love you Little Sister, take care.

Big Brother.

At 7:19 PM, The Lioness said...

"I love shopping for and buying school supplies. (...) It is frightening how much I love paper, pens, pencils, binders, etc."

Me too! Me too! I thought I was a lonesome freak!