Concert Going, or "How to Upset a Single Mother"

Well, since DM commented and stated that this story had worth, I am now attempting to write it and do it justice.

Before I get started, let me introduce you to a cast of characters:

Adam - my former roommate and roommate at the time of this story
Beth - Hey, that's me!
Rickety Old Guy (ROC) - The 'uncle' of our former friend
Single Mother Who Now Hates Me (SM) - The self-proclaimed victim of this story

The Counting Crows and John Mayer were coming to the Twin Cities for a concert in July of 2003. At the beginning of April, Adam had spoken to SM and they planned on going. Adam asked if I was interested and I said, "Sure, I like concerts."

So it was arranged. SM bought tickets for the show, four months in advance, and Adam and I kept trying to get together with her to pay for them and receive the tickets.

Adam called her, every two weeks, up until the date of the concert. He left messages, saying, "Hi, I'd like to get those tickets from you and pay you and then we can enjoy the show." She kept bailing on meeting him to exchange the tickets for cash and told him, "We'll arrange it at the show." He was persistent in asking for the tickets ahead of time. No deal.

The night of the concert arrived and I took the day off of work. I met up with Adam and we headed for Downtown Minneapolis, planning on meeting SM a hour and a half BEFORE the show started at a local bar/restaurant. We arrived on time and sat down inside.

We sat. We waited. Adam kept trying to call SM and finally he got her on the line. "I'm five minutes away!" she said.

The opening act, which is who we wanted to see, started at 8:00 PM. At 8:35, SM showed up with ROC. Her five minutes away had turned into an hour and 15 minutes.

Since opening acts usually only last about 45 minutes and by the time we got to the arena and to our seats, we would have missed the show, Adam and I decided to not buy the tickets.

The rest of the story is what happened, some facts I heard from Adam, some parts involved me and SM.

Adam's phone rings, SM is outside the restaurant, demanding he come outside to get the tickets. Adam looks at me and I confirm I will back him up in our decision to not purchase the tickets from her since she didn't provide the items and the value was no longer there. He heads outside, leaving me at the table with our food.

These details are from Adam:

He walks outside to the warm summer breeze and the commotion of Downtown Minneapolis. SM sees him and introduces a man with her as her uncle. She tries to give him the tickets and demands he pay her $80. Adam tells her no. SM erupts, screaming and yelling.

ROC starts grabbing at Adam's arms, telling him, "You can't do this. She's a single mother and she can't afford this. This is unfair."

Adam calmly tells the man, using all the skills he's learned from taking phone calls, "We had an agreement to get the tickets before the show. You did not provide the tickets. I'm not paying for them."

SM: "I'm a single mother! You can't DO this to me!"

Adam: "You didn't bring the tickets on time. That is not my fault."

ROC: "But she's a single mother!"

Adam: "Well, it's not like I'm the one who knocked her up 5 years ago. Her current living arrangements have nothing to do with this."

At this point, Adam has had it with these people and returns to the table where I am sitting. Adam is clearly upset with the situation, he doesn't like the screaming confrontation that just happened outside and he is shaking. Adam asked me to deal with her, probably because she was more of his friend than mine and I didn't have any qualms about telling her to get off her high horse, in a very nice, customer service friendly way of course.

I venture outside the establishment and get my first glimpse of ROC and SM. Ever get those creepy old guy vibes? This man gives them off, full force. His movements indicated the use of alcoholic beverages before his arrival on the scene and he made a couple of mistakes around me.

SM is screaming at me, "You can't do this! I'm a single mother! Buy these tickets, #$*!) and *(&$(%&^."

Me: "I'm sorry that you're upset, but it's your own fault. Adam made multiple attempts to get the tickets and it's not our problem that you couldn't provide them. We're not paying for them. You're the one who wasted the time."

SM: "But I can't afford this! I'm a single mother!"

Me: "Are you really serious in thinking that will change my mind? I work at a bank, taking calls and have heard that excuse more times that you could ever say it. It's your fault, the answer is not changing. If you want to go and catch the last three minutes of the show, go right ahead." I said this pretty deadpan.

At this point, ROC decided to touch me. Now, Adam doesn't like random strangers touching him, but he just shrugged the fingers off and let it go.

Me, I don't like being touched by scary old men. I don't know, maybe it's a personal thing, but it makes me feel ill. It's yucky.

The tone I learned from my mother and the LOOK I learned from Vivian Leigh in "Gone With the Wind" (sorry DM, I love the movie) came out. The little man backed down as I said through gritted teeth, "Do NOT touch me again."

Then I turned back to SM to deal with the ticket situation. She was raising her high pitched voice and dogs around the cities started to whine. Then her head spun around, Linda Blair style, and daggers jutted from her eyes like a cartoon.

Did this bother me?

I can honestly say, no, it didn't. I didn't really like her much to begin with, she was one of those friends that I knew through other friends and she whined a lot. I didn't care. I think this makes me a bad person. Maybe not. It's her fault anyway.

I said to her, "Do you really think yelling at me is going to change my mind? I mean, I deal with angry people all day long at work, I don't care if you yell at me. You're the one who is making a scene."

At this point, she just keeps screaming about being a single mother (not my problem) and that I "HAVE TO" pay her for the tickets. Since she failed to produce the tickets in a timely fashion, I figured the deal to be null and void.

ROC wandered into the restaurant to find Adam and proceeded to make a scene. I went back in, leaving SM standing by herself and sent ROC outside. Adam shook for a little while and then we went to play pool.

Now, she hates us. I don't really care.

I hope this all made sense.

2 Comments:

At 7:27 PM, Matt said...

Oh Beth,
I LOVE THIS!! I remember when you had told me the story before, and I still get just as mad at her as I did then, when she kept saying "But I'm a single mother". I have to get a little rude here, so I apologize in advance.......
You have one fucking child I have three!! And yet I would still be able to affordf a fcuking phone call to my firneds that have counted on me to prouduce the goddamn tickets that they wanted! I would have made sure that I would have received the money as soon as humanly fucking possible and not use the fact that I had sex, probally with someone that I can't even name, unsafely for a BARGAINING CHIP! How PROUD your child must feel, knowing that you used them as a way to get sympathy. to SM, a big, hearty, deep from the bottom of my soul, I gave to you (SM) a FUCK OFF!!

Thank you for sharing this with the world, I am glad that you finally did. As for the creepy old guy, if that ever happens around me, I hope to GOD that I can count on someone to either call Scott to pick me up from jail, and I can also count on my friends to help me with the bail utnil my next paycheck.

As akways,
Your Big Brother Matt.

At 8:22 AM, CarpeDM said...

Oh, I love this story! I forgot completely about her doing the Linda Blair thing.

Matt, not only will I call Scott but I will hold your coat while you kick ROC's ass. Then I will drop it in my haste to stomp on ROC's head.

But! I will have it drycleaned. Hopefully we can get the blood out.

This comment went somewhere else than I had intended. Oh, look out the windows! We're in crazy town.