The Twin Cities People Store and other late night commercials

I don't watch a lot of television, but what I do watch tends to be at 2 or 3 in the morning. This enables me to memorize all the different late night commercials jingles. Why, I don't know. Is this useful in life? No, it's not.

One of the commercials that I hate is for the Twin Cities People Store. Unless you're from the Twin Cities, you have never understood how stupid this commercial is. It's for a dating service. Basically there are black and white pictures of people in ballerina dresses and holding mops. I think it goes, "Too busy with chores? And all those dance lessons! Meet people the old-fashioned way, dial the Twin Cities People Store. It's an easy way to meet nice people." That's the gist of it. What bothers me about this is the fact that when I think of meeting people the old-fashioned way, I don't think of dialing a phone and listen to "nice people describe themselves." Is this old-fashioned in any way shape or form? Ugh!

In my book (which doesn't exist but maybe someday), the worst commercial ever was for Quizno's Subs. It involved these singing things (they looked like hairless rats but I guess they're supposed to be bread - I'll get to that) with horrible voices singing about how bringing in a coupon would get you a dollar off of a sub. These rat-things would sing (I think I mean scream) "EAT QUIZNO'S SUBS! ANY COUPON WORKS" and something about a hair-cut. The first time I saw this commercial, I sat up and said (probably loudly), "What was that?!?!?!?!?!?!?" This commercial did not last long. Most sane people thought using hairless rats to promote food was not a good plan. What's even worse is the fact these are supposed to be loaves of bread. Great! Now I'm hungry because food is screaming at me to "EAT ME!" It's like promoting cannibalism. I think I would be freaked out if a cow mooed at me, "I'm tasty." (Well, I might freak out after I've sold the cow to a circus because that's just cool. A talking cow!)

You know the Mattress Giant commercial? The words never change but if you pay attention you'll notice the pictures change. My life is so sad.

All of my friends can actually sing the lyrics to the National American University commercial. You know the one, "One day, one night, Saturday is alright...." It's sad.

In realizing that I don't watch a lot of t.v., I'm afraid for America. I watch maybe four hours of t.v. a week and this is what I remember. Let's try to make this world a better place. Pick up a book once in awhile.