Thursday, December 21, 2006

Sports and Children

Life lessons can be learned from movies where children play sports. The lessons are not those you would typically think are important, but the lessons are there, none-the-less. Recently, I had the displeasure of catching one of the sequels to the Mighty Ducks franchise on public television. In watching the movie, which I think I missed when it was originally released, I noticed some of the lessons seeming to mislead innocent children.

#1. No matter how strong your opponent is, they will all be fooled by a "trick" play. Examples include the "Flying V" and figure skating players doing spins on the ice.

#2. The sleaziest of adults will find their hearts of gold only when forced to spend time with underpriveleged children by a judge. I believe this to mean that spending time with children is slightly better punishment than prison. Nice message.

#3. In true sportsmanship, the opposing team will do their darnest to be jerks, play dirty, and their coach will search out ways to ruin the competition showing exactly how to be a poor role model.

#4. Visitors in the stands will be able to sneak onto the practice field/ice and taunt the players when the players are struggling the most. The taunter will turn out to be the team's newest secret weapon in competition, bringing their own ridiculous play into the game. Specific example from the Mighty Ducks (I think it was the second movie) includes a roller blading kid who can hit a puck so it spins out of control.

#5. The player who hits the hardest will not be any good at the game, but in the pivotal moment of the game, they will be able to be spot on in their aim.

#6. Injuries will only cause the best player to be out of the game until the final moment when their skills are the only realistic reason for the team to win.

#7. Junior hockey players will be allowed into fancy Beverly Hills shopping stores because they are junior hockey players. They will first need to lie their way in, but once recognized, the owner of the shop will parade women wearing next-to-nothing in front of the boys, believing their story about needing to buy their mothers fancy cocktail dresses.