Saturday, December 24, 2005

If Jesus Didn't Have a Sense of Humor, Why Do So Many Celebrate His Birth?

Christmas shopping sucks. Christmas shopping the night before Christmas Eve with a friend can be a laugh-riot!

For some odd reason, I spent most of my day in this super sarcastic, evil mode. The filter between my brain and my mouth was set to open. After work, I went with Sarah to Wal-Mart to pick up those last minute gifts. This is when the "Open Mouth, Insert Foot" disease set in. I am not trying to offend anyone and believe me, this was all in a joking spirit.

Besides wandering the store trying to find ideas and dancing to the AC/DC playing on the overhead speakers, I talked to babies, decided to purchase a knee brace (which just makes me feel old. I don't know why, but the sign of a continual problem with my knee makes me think I'm not 13 anymore. Darn it!) and engaged random strangers in conversation.

While looking at DVDs, a guy approached me and started to say hello! I recognized him immediately as a former banker of our call center, one who was on another team and annoyed me when he worked for the company. Sarah met him tonight and she was annoyed with him. I finally looked at him and said, "I need to finish my shopping. The hours before Christmas are running out." DM - you might remember him. He worked there two years ago and was on the T&T team. He liked the same pool hall I did and would wander around the call center whistling the same tune from Kill Bill Vol. 1. He's a big, dumpy leechy guy.

Sarah and I were then able to walk through the actual electronics section. There was a group of kids by the TV show DVDs. I was looking through them and this was a cool conversation:

Nice Kid: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm blocking your way.
Me: That's okay. I probably wasn't going to get any TV shows.
NK: Hey, do you know what this character's name was on Rocky & Bullwinkle?
Me: Yes, Natasha.
NK: That's it! Natasha!
Me: You look familiar.
NK: So do you. Were you at Cub Foods?
Me: No.
NK: Did you go to [some high school]?
Me: No. Do you go to karaoke?
NK: Yes!
Me: You were there with your mom!

It was the guy in this picture. I told him that his group should show up again because we liked them and they were fun.

Joey and Emily

Well, I found presents for my mom, her boyfriend, and another one for my dad. I am good for Christmas, except for a good present to go with what I got Steve that actually has some type of thought behind it. I might just give him a copy of Bryan's CD because he loves music (among other things, apparantly - oops, there is the evil Beth again). As I am checking out, I comment to the cashier that I just killed 16 children. I joke about this because James believes shopping at Wal-Mart is killing kids. I only think this is inappropriate because I am insulting her employer.

As we're walking out the doors, Sarah says, "Did you notice that she was pregnant?" And now I feel bad. Oops!

In the parking lot, we ended up in the wrong row of vehicles. Here's the interaction that takes place:

Sarah: Well, walking never hurt anyone.
Me: Except for maybe quadriplegics.
Random woman loading her car: *Explosion of laughter*

It was one of those perfect moments where I made a random stranger almost pee her pants. I may be going to Hell, but at least I'll have good company.

Sarah and I headed to Perkins for some Cokes and a snack. I got a bowl of fresh fruit. When the server, Susan, asked how it was, I told her, "Fruity! I've never had so much fun eating. If I was a dog, I'd be wagging my tail." Now, I got the whole tail thing from a motivational video we watched at work. The "fun eating" thing comes from Steve. He does it better than I do.

On that note, I should get a bit of sleep. I still have to work tonight and finish way too many things. I have a white board at my desk and it now has my To Do list on it. As I cross/erase something, I keep adding more. The end of the year is a bit of a rush to complete so many different things. At least I finished my compliance training and I have a start on a couple of reviews, plus I've pretty much caught up (except for a couple of feedback sessions) on the quality for my team.