Sunday, March 13, 2005

The "Gig"

On Saturday night, DM and I ventured to a new bar to hear a different host of karaoke run a show. Our friend from The Chalet, Michael, was hosting at a bar named Michael's (funny!) and we went up to see him there.

I should explain first about our karaoke experience. We don't go to bars because they have karaoke, we go to The Chalet (and occasionally Wild Tymes) because we like the people there. We enjoy Bryan's singing and we've got to meet some awesome people like Dean, Stephanie, Liz, Michael, and others. We like The Chalet because the Coke products they use are actually Coca-Cola brand and Bobby pours a mean Diet Coke with Lime. When DM and I were going to spend a week in Vegas, we talked about going to karaoke out there. We decided against it. Why? Because it felt like cheating on Bryan (this is a joke, but we just like going to where Bryan is hosting, it's more comfortable).

But our friend Michael was hosting at Michael's and we had a Saturday night free, so we went. The bar, well, let's just say it was a little bit of a dive. It wasn't that bad, but it is in an interesting neighborhood. We found the place just fine (this is significant in the fact DM and I are both directionally challenged) and as we pulled into the parking lot, a trio of men made it a huge point to say, "Helllllllooooooo" to us. Let's just say, I'm not good with men hitting on me. It confuses me.

We walk in and find Michael. We're very happy to see him. He shows us the books and the choices are overwhelming. There is only one other frequent singer there, a man named Jim whose choices in songs would not have been on my list for him. But he was nice and we clapped for him. Another man approaches our table and asks me for a pen. And then he asks me about some 80's hair band song. He reeks of liquor, but then, this is a bar. He breathes heavily on me and I'm ready to puke, but I hold it in. The man asks me what my name is and I figure I can't lie, so I tell him, "Beth." He grabs my hand for a handshake and tells me, "My name is Pete." Well, his name was not actually Pete, but it is the same as the Pete in The Boy stories, so I figure the same fake name works well for this guy. I might even remember it. I have trouble remembering the real Pete's name.

Did I just write "The real Pete's name"? I think the whole fake names are messing with my brain.

He gets up to sing a song with his buddies and it is, um, horrible. Oh well. That's a price you pay if you enjoy karaoke.

DM and I both sing a song. Then an older gentleman (he was probably only 40 or so but years of booze has aged him a little faster than most) asks if either of us will sing Janis Joplin. He stinks of whiskey. I think he got more on his shirt than he consumed.

Then another drunk man approaches our table. There were only about 15 people in this bar, but we seemed to be the focus of all of them. This man stood next to me and used me as a wall to hold himself up. I hate people touching me, especially men I don't know. He wanted me to find a Barry White song in the book for him. Apparently, the man cannot figure out where "White" would be in a book divided up by artist. I found it for him, hoping that it would make him go away. Then he tries for about 2 minutes to read the numbers on the page and write down the song. He finally asks me to write it down for him. I do and then hand him the slip, saying in that "You're a drunk and you act like a child" tone of voice, "Now, write down your name." I had to stop the man to give me my pen back and I think he takes the hint that I'm not interested. He does get up to sing his Barry White song. He doesn't actually know the song, so it's a fascinating assault of the microphone.

We had a lot of fun talking with Michael and trying out a couple of new songs that The Chalet doesn't have. After bar closing, DM, Michael, and I went out for breakfast at a place called "Flameburger". I've never eaten at one of these establishments before and found it to be very good. It was kind of like truck stop food, good and cheap. We talked with Michael for a bit and then headed home.

Tonight's agenda is to visit my dad (laundry and quality time with Dad!) and then going to karaoke at The Chalet. I'm a little hopeful that The Boy will be there and DM is looking forward to a real Diet Coke with Lime poured by Bobby. Here's to fun!