The Post Written While Sober About When We Were Drunk

Oh My God. This afternoon has been spent cringing from the memories rushing to our consciousnesses. Oh My God.

Two weeks ago, Char called and said she would be in town. Yea! This is happy news. And since many people I know keep telling me that they'd like to see me drunk, I thought, "How better to celebrate Char being here than to get intoxicated?"

The HI-larity ensues.

We got to the Chalet right before 9:30 and started drinking. And drinking. And drinking.

Did you know that in 5 hours you can completely destroy your reputation and want to move away to another country?

The evening started with ducks. Char gave DM ducks for Christmas. DM says they are magic ducks and she "glow ducked" for a bit. Here are the ducks. They change color.



We wore clothing to accentuate our breasts. The word of the night was not "breasts" but "boobies!" As in, "I have boobies!" No one can say they do not know this now. And here are pictures of our boobies.

DM:



Me:



Steve (who does not actually have boobies. We covered that):



(He was feeling left out, being surrounded by boobies. There was a lot of cleavage going on.)

Then I tried on glasses. These are Angie's glasses.



These are Sarah's. DM said this picture makes me look like I'm about to perform acts on men that I should not discuss here.



We all sang. I was glad when I no longer sang. It was not pretty after midnight. This is Steve singing:



He sang Matchbox Twenty - Unwell. I think. I am sure it was MB20, but not entirely sure of what song. Oh, DM says it was Unwell. He dedicated it to me. I thought he was saying I was drunk. I told him I was drunk and he said, "No, you're Beth."



Dana sang Stokin'. She is "Slur-i-cane Dana" now.



Someone told me to dance. And I listened.



I listened too much.



Yeah, I listened and waited for someone to tell me not to listen anymore. No one did.



I kept telling people, "I have boobies!" I may have also said, "The difference between men and women is dicks and boobies. I have boobies! [I'm editing out the rest.]"



Some lady sang, "Play That Funky Music." Amy wanted to dance. So I joined her. I'm sure she asked me to. And I couldn't say no. Here's the proof. Notice the chair helping me stay upright.





There were many people there for us to embarrass ourselves in front of. See?

Sara





This is Craig. I kissed him on the cheek, twice. After I told him to kiss me on the nose. I also told him that if I was in a different point of my life, I'd have a crush on him. He has kids. Steve said, "Do you really not like him, or is it an excuse?" I said it was an excuse that I can live with.





Group shots!

Steve is a good team lead. I hope he doesn't tell people at work how drunk I was.



Angie is fun. We like her. We "lava" her.



Look! It's the drunk girls! We look tough. We probably would have grabbed our boobies if we wouldn't have fallen over.



Craig and Angie, non-drunken people



Angie, Amy and I



Hey, guess what. I continued to dance. I may have fallen down a few times. People helped me get back up.



More drunken dancing:



And I still continued to drink:



I also wanted to show my pretty, lacy underwear to people. I told Benny and Ke about it. I showed Craig. I told DM, "I think I have a wedgie."



We were brought home safely. Char drove me. Sarah drove DM. Once we got back home, we continued being drunk. I crawled a lot. We laughed. It was funny.







So, now the non-pictured part of the evening.

There is a clip on my camera of black. It has us talking.

B: Help!
D: Oh shit, I'm recording. Oops.
B: I have boobies!
D: Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe! (Snort)

What did the pictures miss? DM kissed James. She licked him twice. She told him that she's like him since last January and that he is the sexiest man in the universe. He, apparantly, did not know. So the information from Dean was not completely accurate. DM may want to hurt Dean.

DM told the entire table she was "fucking horny" and that she "swallows."

I was fascinated by noses. I kept touching my nose. And then I started touching other people's noses. Part of this is from the fact that if you touch Char's nose and say in a chirper voice, "Nose!", she will laugh. It does not work on Steve. Especially when you poke him in the eye. I told him, "I can't feel my nose. I can feel your nose!"

Angie and Steve sat next to me so they got the grunt of a non-touchy-feely person drunk who becomes touchy-feely. I think someone petted my hair. I can't remember if it was Angie or not.

I told Angie, Amy, Craig, Char, James, Bryan, Benny, Bobby, and Liz something I should never share in public. I also told Matt, Char's old roommate. Oops. This little fact about me is not something I would suggest sharing with people. It does make DM feel a little better about the kissing James and telling him that she likes him.

I think I text messaged the player and asked him if he "was still hot?" Actually, I wrote, "I'mwvery0drunk r u stilleffhng hot?"

I don't feel bad today though. Other than embarrassment, I don't have a hangover. My arms hurt a little from crawling on the floor, but no head problems.

There is probably more funny stories, but I don't remember all of them. They do sometimes surface and I groan in embarrassment again.