My Mother
I just spent 40 minutes on the phone with my mother. The following conversation is one I documented last week because DM thought it was funny. Today's conversation was similar, but involved more of my mom rambling about a trailer*, the pets, finances, and Will Ferrell.
Ring, ring...
(My responses are in bold, my mom in italics):
Hello.
Oh, hi! You're not at work.
No, I'm not. I -
Okay, we got the trailer. Scotty drove iot and the electrical wiring didn't work and it was dark so there were no taillights or brake lights.
Oh.
But we got it home and it's cute and has metal hooks because you need metal hooks.
Yeah.
And I think we will sleep in it this weekend. The cats can go on the kiddie beds and Scott & I can take one and the dogs can have the other end. Oh, Scott can have one bed and I'll have to sleep with the dogs. Who am I kidding?
Yep.
Manny's was good. I was telling all the people at work about Dana and the baseball steak. And how Dana didn't know what to order and I said it was okay because I was paying and the guy said, without missing a beat, "How about the lobster?" *Laughter*
I didn't think the service was that great.
Oh yeah, he forgot your baked potato and stuff. But that bus boy brought coffee. I tipped him separately because he was really good.
Yes. The bus boy was good.
Oh, I tried to call [her friend] about that book. Oh, you were on the phone. I am trying to find a Ken Folliet book for Dana. Let her kno I'm looking.
Okay. We're getting ready to leave for karaoke.
Oh! That's right. It's Thursday [it was at the time of this call]. Tell her about that book. Stop by to see the campler! Love you!
Love you too.
Be good!
My mom has a gift of just talking. She is really great, but sometimes has absolutely no interest in anything I want to tell her so the conversations usually involve me listening and making minimal comments.
Today's conversation was much longer. Here's what I retained:
Hi.
Oh! You're awake. I'm sorry.
Yes, I'm awake.
I didn't mean to wake you.
You didn't.
Oh. Okay. So we found a place for the camper. I called around and kept getting farther and farther out. Then Scotty went to Hilltop, you know that Hilltop Trailer Hitch place? You've driven by it a million times down on Central [a street that runs through most of the suburbs north of Minneapolis]. Well, they are not there any more but the furniture store is renting space for the winter and it looks like we'll put it there. He needs a new hitch too because his truck is too high and he got one and was able to use the tools of [his brother] to put it on. So that's done. It cost a bit of money, but we did get a used one and saved a little. So the trailer has storage. It will be $40 a month. That's better than $60. That's 2/3rds the cost. So we're pleased. And we won't have to snowblow around it.
That's great.
I'm taking a sick day. I know it is Sunday but I'm having a sick day. I'm staying in bed all day long and reading, well not reading but doing Sudoku puzzles. Amazon.com recommended more Sudoku books to me because I bought that one. I like these puzzles but I should only do the challenging ones because the easy and moderate ones are too easy now. All the pets are in bed with me. Chip is almost asleep and Smoke is watching him, waiting for him to fall asleep so he can cuddle up next to him. Chip is a warm sleeper. Smoke normally doesn't like to hang out with all of us because he's not the Momma's boy that the other three are but he likes us this weekend. Remember when Mac showed up and Taco and Chip thought he was an alien? Well, Chip still doesn't really like the cats touching him, but he bears it. That's why Smoke is watching him and waiting for him to fall asleep.
That's cute.
Remember how Scotty got that money? [This is where she goes into an extremely long discussion about the inheritance that Scott got when his mother passed away and what his family members keep doing with the funds. It was a bit of a fight between her and him.]
...So I told him to try an IRA and then went through all the steps to show him how he could save money on his taxes and have money when he retires and he looked at me like I was talking French.
Well, banking is a different language for some.
Yeah, but I think he should do this. Remember when I was dating John?
Yes.
You know how he died on Christmas? Well, he never wanted to save money and figured he wouldn't live long enough to retire. I guess he was right. It was Christmas and I'm sure he was drinking and got in a fight with someone and then had that heart attack. [Note: he is a prime example of why I believe a bit in karma. When you're a crap human being, life does not treat you well.]
That's true.
Work has been busy lately. I now have six people that I have to report to because my original boss is not liked by the marketing department so there are other people taking over and they don't know all the steps so I have to help all of them. How is your job?
I love my job. I have a great time everyday and my team is -
That's good to hear. Hold on a minute.
Oh, Pepper is biting Smoke's head. If Pepper had a personal ad, it would say, "Loves to bite cat's heads." Hee hee! So, we found a place to put the trailer. It's in Hilltop.
You told me this.
Oh, did I? I can't remember. I have a DVD player in the kitchen. I bought that movie, Elf.
With Will Ferrell?
Yep. I think it will be a good Christmas movie. I don't know if I like this guy or not. I don't think Anchorman looked that great and I have no desire to see Bewitched. But I liked that clip of him on SNL being the Dog Lawyer. That was funny. So we'll see. I also bought Closer.
Is that with Nicole Kidman?
No. The other really big one. The one from Erin Brokcavich.
Oh, Julia R-
Yeah, Julia Child. No, not Julia Child. Julia Roberts.
There is a difference.
And that other guy is in it. Jude Law. I think it is about really weird people who people don't like. Your dad is a good guy. I trust him. If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, he gets everything but the house. Scotty gets the house. Your dad will take care of you. Scotty can take care of the pets. But that's not going to happen.
No, it's not going to happen. *I'm shaking my head at this point in complete confusion.*
I have his movie still. I sent a check for the chainsaw, but one of these days I'll return the movie. It was really good.
Yes, it was. I'm sure Dad can live without it for a little bit of time though. [The movie is actually the HBO series, "From the Earth to the Moon." It is excellent.]
She continues to talk about Owen Wilson movies, Scott, and her job for a little longer. Then she asks me a question and I respond and she interupts (as always), "Okay, love you! Bye!"
I take after my dad.
*My mom and her boyfriend bought a trailer. It's a camper that pulls behind the truck and sleeps "6" supposedly. It's twenty years old and all metal. The odd part of this is the fact that while I was growing up, my mother HATED camping. I don't understand her.
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