Monday, November 07, 2005

Sunday Night Fun

Sunday night is karaoke night. That's been established here and on DM's blog as a fact. Tonight was no different.

DM and I ended up with a massive bar tab tonight. Besides our usual Coke no ice and water, we ordered three appetizers (chicken wings, mini-tacos, and egg rolls) and had three alcoholic drinks each. Bobby poured them a lot stronger this week and I don't think either of us will be drinking too much in the future. It's not that I'm drunk or hung over, but we both got a bit, um, what's the word?, yeah, loopy.

The bar was rather slow tonight. I can't say anyone was there that are not regulars, except for two guys and two women I've never seen before (I'll get to who they are). Bryan showed up a few minutes after DM and I got there. Then Angie and Amy and Sarah all showed up. Nate and Becky were there tonight (yea! We don't get to see them as often.) Andrew was there, Ke was there, Benny showed up too. A couple of Bryan's production company friends were there and did a great rendition of Soul Man, complete with dance moves. Jay showed up and Stephanie even made it there at the end of the night. Lisa Jo and her husband were there. Liz, James, and Dean were all there at the end of the night. We were saddened that Steve, Angie's beau and not my team lead, was unable to make it.

We called Char early on to wish her a happy birthday. All of us at the Chalet miss her terribly and would love to have her home right now. I miss her and Tom so much. They truly are a blast to have around and great people.

DM and I each started drinking a few of these wonderful drinks that Bobby makes. The drinks are vanilla vodka, pineapple juice, and grenadine. Bobby also lets us take as many cherries as we want for them. We were on our third drinks when the door opened and our table cringed.

A man with a mega-mullet walks in, accompanied by Pete and the boy. Right behind them are Guru and some guy I've never met before. They are all at the bar and I'm doing my best to NOT make eye contact with the boy because I'm at a point where I think he's just a putz. A cute putz, but a putz none-the-less. They all walk in as DM and I are making lists about what we are looking for in men. (Not so long version of the story behind this: Angie made a list and within three days met Steve and he fit 19 of the 20 things on her list, the only one he missed was he's not a major fan of hockey. We wanted to try this.)

DM sees a commercial with clowns on it and then we talk about the day she kept bouncing back up after I'd push her (long story).
D: Clowns are scary.
B: You bounced like one!
D: Kari might get a hybrid.
B: Clown?!?

DM looks at me like I'm crazy but I'm not the one who changed the topic of conversation!

So my "Man Checklist" looks like this:

  1. Has to be funny
  2. No kids
  3. No ex-wife (ex-wives or current wife)
  4. Solid work ethic & has a job
  5. No drugs
  6. Not an alcoholic
  7. Lives on his own (away from parents)
  8. Likes dogs (does not need to own one)
  9. Likes karaoke (or at least likes going to the Chalet)
  10. Intelligent (no college degree required but able to have a good conversation)
  11. Does not carry around a miner's light
  12. Lives in America, preferably in Minnesota
  13. Is not Republican
  14. Likes my friends
  15. Doesn't force religion on me
  16. Is close to my age (within a few years)
  17. Likes math (or can put up with the fact I do enjoy doing math problems on occasion)
  18. Loves music more than television
  19. Has never been convicted of a felony that would prevent him from being hired by a company that is bonded
  20. Desires me for who I am
  21. Knows which direction he wants his life to go (this does not mean he needs to change but has a simple plan about what he wants)
  22. Doesn't cheat
  23. Believes in safe sex and not pressuring me, no STDs
  24. Introduces me to his friends (and hopefully they are not complete gits)
  25. Has a decent, healthy relationship with his family
  26. Doesn't kiss like a fish
  27. Has a personality
  28. Can admit to his quirkiness or dorkiness
  29. Is not a freak
  30. Is not unobtainable

Some of the things on the list are more important than others, but since I was writing down what I was looking for, I might as well go for the gusto.

Well, we're writing down our lists when the group with the boy walks in. I was singing some song (which I forget what it was. I think it may have been "All That Jazz") and the group decides to sit at our table. There are six other sets of tables open and they sat at our table. I'm still not making eye contact with the boy because he's a slow git who never makes a move and then they sit at our table. The boy sits next to DM, across the table from me.

He says hello to me and as a habit, I am polite and say hello back. During the night, we talk a little and I find out why he's been absent from the Chalet for so long. Oddly enough, it's a thought I had a month back and I was right. He spent a bit of time in the workhouse and on house arrest for a DUI in September. Dumb ass. He is not driving now and the state will not allow him to for a few more months.

Guru decided to get hammered right off the bat. Then he got touchy. I actually cringed when he touched me. And then he moved chairs to sit next to me. I moved closer and closer to Angie at this point. At one point, he asked, "What did I do wrong?" DM responded, "You mean besides breathing?" I am polite, usually, but I'm very clear if I think someone is a waste of flesh. This guy is.

DM almost called Pete "Pete". We joke about him in the fake name so much that we tend to forget his real name. One of the women who showed up later ended up sitting on his lap and they were playing kissy face.

For some random reason (probably the liquor), I decided to sing, "I Touch Myself" and "You Can Leave Your Hat On" tonight. Bryan lent me his cap for the second song and I made a bit of a fool of myself by dancing a little during the song. I can't dance. Anyone I work with can vouch for this. I also sang, "Piece of My Heart" and "Bring Me Some Water".

When Dean arrived, I asked him to sit between Guru and myself. The message may have been received at that point. That guy just annoys me so much. I've met him four times and he's been incoherent every time.

Pete tried to talk to me. I have no clue what he said. Guru was mumbling at the same time Pete was mumbling and I told him, "All I heard was mhmhmmnsm, amdngtnanmm, mm."

The boy put DM's hair in a ponytail on top of her head. He's a stylist and this was a nice thing for him to do. He was really polite tonight and fun, but he's so slow. He still acts all doofy and it's cute, but I think it's gone on too long. Liz did make a comment that he was the only decent one of that group. I also apologized to everyone for having that group sit with us. I knew that they were comfortable enough to pull up chairs because DM and I were there.

Andrew offered to take care of Guru for me. I was okay with him doing this, even if I don't want to see violence.

All-in-all, it was a fun night at the Chalet. We always have fun. DM will have some stories from her side and may even mention the reclusive Gil. He was there too.