A crazy woman's lament

Blink, blink, no light, blink.

This is what my modem is doing right now. I can’t blog. I can’t read blogs. I can’t do my homework at my school that is ONLINE.

I know it’s not my computer. No, it’s the fact that my cable provider is having network issues and I’m sitting here after work, wanting, no wait, NEEDING to go online.

I have to get three essay questions done for school tonight and I can’t get to the classroom to do them without the Internet.

I really wanted to check my email and that’s not working.

I have realized just how dependent on my modem I truly am. It scares me. It’s like Comcast (the cable provider) knows the control they have over me and they are tormenting me now.

I’m not calling the company to complain. I know what that is like for customer service representatives. They can’t do anything anyway.

And yet the blinking light on the modem (the one that stays solid when the network is working) taunts me with it’s blinking.

Blink, blink, blink.

It’s like an eye opening and closing, peaking at me, waiting to see what I’ll do.

And sometimes, it sleeps. The light will stop flashing for about a minute, all of the modem dark.

I don’t know how many games of Spider solitaire I can play before I go completely insane. Hey, I’m already treating an inanimate object like it is alive, I’m close.

****

So I got frustrated and called the cable company. I spoke to this woman who told me that they were having server problems earlier tonight, but not now. Then she made me turn my computer on and off a couple of times. After that didn’t work, she told me that she needed to send a technician out to my site. I questioned this.

She put me on hold to check for technicians and then came back to ask me if my TV worked. Since I hardly watch TV, I had no clue if it did. It didn’t.

Then she told me that it was probably a problem with my cable company. I asked her, "Aren’t you with them?"

Her reply, "No."

Okay. "Well, then I’m supposed to call Comcast?"

Her: "Yes."

Me: "Alright."

"Have a good night. Thanks for calling Comcast."

****

So I call Comcast, the TV division. The guy was really nice and I shouldn’t be mad. I’m not mad at him. No, just frustrated.

The server is not down; it has nothing to do with my computer or my set up. No, he thinks someone ran over the connection outside.

That’s right, some dip ran over my cable and now I can’t do my homework for class. I can’t read blogs and I guess I can’t even watch TV (like I was going to).

I guess this is a better answer than the woman before. I forgot to share the first excuse I got. "Well, with the time change, maybe something happened." What the heck does that mean? Doesn’t the time change twice a year?

I miss my Internet. I do. I don’t know how much solitaire I can play.

I am just hoping it gets fixed before the appointment I have for Monday. Yes, that’s right, I had to schedule a guy to come out and fix it. Hopefully enough neighbors complain and they fix it sooner.

Crap!

****

I forgot to add that the guy I spoke to said that he would credit my account for the inconvenience. He’s giving me a day’s worth of service. That totals $1.82. Wow. I’m so impressed.

The guy asked me if I knew anyone who I could use their computer. I replied, "It’s two in the morning. And that’s with the extra hour. No, no there’s no one awake right now."

Then he asked me if I knew a priest.

I don’t know why. Maybe I imagined that. It just seemed so real.

****

An hour has passed. I am driving myself insane.

Does anyone out there watch The Kids in the Hall? The guy Bruce, he does this weird face with his tongue sticking out and this blank look in his eyes. I was doing that for awhile. No reason.

I was sitting here, waiting patiently before for the modem to work, and I thought, who, who, who wrote the book of love?

Is there a book of love? How come I haven’t read it? Maybe it would help with my love life.
I have lost it. Completely.

*Do a little dance! It was a teenage wedding and the old folks wished them well.

I heard today that someone is protesting Halloween because it is mean to witches. The witches don’t care.

****

Worlds are converging and the universe is tilting off its axis. My mom just called me. At 3 in the morning. My mom is never awake after 9 PM.

She told me that Ben Affleck sucks. I’m not sure why.

She also told me a wonderful story about Taco, our dog. He is getting older and he doesn’t run and bark anymore. In his sleep, he makes noises and she can tell he’s dreaming. She thinks he’s running and barking and chasing and playing in his dreams. He wakes up happy and ready to cuddle with Mommie. It made me smile.

Then she told me to vote against a fee thing in Fridley. I have no clue what she’s talking about.
I’m still going crazy, but at least I’m not my mom crazy yet.

****

Night Two of Internet Free Lifestyle

I feel Amish. I’m not. I have electricity at least. Homework and No Internet make Beth something, something.

"Go crazy?"

Don’t mind if I do!

****

I went to karaoke tonight. That will be it’s own post. Lots of pictures. And Keem came!

My computer is on crack. Something strange just happened with Word and it told me that I misspelled the work hair. I typed it as hair. Not hiar or anything weird. It’s just strange. I was making a note about what I did to my hair tonight for karaoke (again, see next post).

I should clean my apartment or something. I have a headache though.

I watched a movie to take my mind off the computer. I want my Internet back. I am reminded of that old video for the song about MTV. I don’t remember the name of the song or the group. I would look it up, but of course, NO INTERNET!

I am dreading Monday night. If my computer doesn’t start working soon, I am going to be forced to spend hours upon hours in that stupid program for class. I will be so happy on Wednesday when this class is over. I get to take some odd class that sounds like, "How to use the Internet" starting November 11.

Here’s to hoping I wake up to find my modem working.

****

Update: My modem didn’t work when I got up. I waited a couple of hours and the cable guy showed up. He told me that Comcast did an audit and accidentally disconnected my connection instead of someone else’s. My teacher was none too happy with this explanation, but what am I to do?

I should call Comcast and complain. Maybe I could get more than $1.82 out of them.

At least my Internet is back. I’m doing tons of homework right now and the karaoke post will come soon (along with a ton of pictures).