Sunday, January 23, 2005

After Midnight...

The post I promised for today is not quite written yet (I have notes though, this is a good thing. Yes, notes, white paper that no longer screams, "Fill me up!" Does anyone else have problems with office supplies talking to them, or is it just me? Probably just me. Don't be scared, I'm really not insane.)

Before I get to that post, I wanted to just give a few funny things from this evening. After work, I was going to meet Matt at Fridleykin's. These are some of the moments from the night.

I stopped at the gas station across from work on the way to Fridleykin's. The clerk behind the counter tends to flirt with me. I don't know why. About every three weeks, I manage to stop at that particular gas station after work. The last time I had frequented the establishment, he told me all about how he was on vacation and asked if I missed him. I didn't even know he was gone. Tonight, he made a very large point of telling me how he cleared off his driveway. One of his direct quotes was, "The pavement is shimmering." Confused, I just nodded. I'm not entirely sure if he's trying to say, "I have a house. I'm not just a gas station clerk. I'm a winner." It's rather strange. Oh well.

Two men at a table near ours got into a verbal argument at Fridleykin's (Perkin's to those unfamiliar). It seemed like a strange thing to get worked up about.

Jeb (He looks like a Jebadiah): You've gotten me more than once. [This is said in an empathic way, almost as if Jeb is proud of the fact he's been "gotten".]
Dude: No, I've only gotten you once. It was at Wal-Mart. We're not even yet. Zeke got you once.
Jeb: No, Zeke got me once and you got me twice. [Still proud of the fact he's been "gotten".]
Dude: Not in the balls both times!
Jeb: No, in the balls, both times.

Why was Jeb happy that his friend kicked him in that area more than once? And why would he choose to share this with the crowd at Fridleykin's? This seems strange to me.

While talking about music, Matt refers to a Counting Crows song as "Pink Paradise." I look extremely confused. I'm not a huge Counting Crows fan, so maybe they have a song called Pink Paradise. Then Matt mentions that maybe there really is swearing in the song. This is when I realize that Pink Paradise = Big Yellow Taxi. Now, there is no swearing in Big Yellow Taxi, however; one of the bankers on my team at work seems to think that there is explicatives in the song. I'm not sure if he thought the phrase, "Paved paradise and put up a parking lot" was actually, "Paved paradise and put up a f**king lot" or what, but it was a long discussion one night at work. Can you believe I get paid for my job?

Katie, one of the servers, asks us if we want pie. I say, "Yes!" Why? Because pie is good. I like pie. I am also found of phi, but that's a whole other realm. I ask her what types of pie Fridleykin's has (because I have not quite successfully memorized the entire menu) and I respond. Here's what I said:
B: You don't have orange pie, do you? I want orange pie.
K: Do they even make orange pie?
B: I'm sure they do. I want orange pie.
K: We don't have orange pie. How about I come back in a few minutes?

When Katie returns, I am still hung up on the orange pie kick. I manage to justify that orange pie must exist somewhere since there is apple, cherry, strawberry, lime, banana, and lemon pie. There has to be orange pie. I am still craving orange pie. I ended up with apple/raisin pie. This brought on an entire discussion with Matt about raisins.

I went grocery shopping once when I lived with Adam. (Now, in the context of this sentence, once is just a description, but not necessarily the number of times I went grocery shopping in the two year period. If you wanted to know the actual times I set foot inside a grocery store while living with Adam, I can tell you. It was 4. Two of those times were for a pot luck at work the next day. I hate grocery stores.) When I came home from the store, I had bought some raisins. Here is the resulting conversation:

A: You bought raisins?
B: Yes. I like raisins.
A: Craving raisins means there is a depletion of [some vitamin] in your system. You should go to the doctor.
B: Um, I just like raisins. I saw them and bought them. I wasn't craving raisins. It's not like I was sitting at home going, 'Oh no! If I don't have raisins, I might die.'

Now, in my head, this was not a nice thing to say. Except I'm doomed with customer service skills when talking to Adam. I tend to tell him things that sound sarcastic in my head, but come out sounding really sincere and sweet. So, of course, he didn't realize I was annoyed with him implying a vitamin deficiency because I happen to like raisins.

And on that note, I like cottage cheese and cream cheese. I don't care if he doesn't like it. Just because I want some damn cottage cheese, I don't need to hear him complain. I never bitched him out for eating that crappy pasta crap with the alfredo sauce. That smell makes me want to puke. But did I complain? No. Whoa. I need to hop off that soapbox now.

As I was eating my apple (not orange) pie, I started stabbing one of the apples. I exclaim, "This is more fun than Jell-o!" It was. I'm not sure if I liked the pie, but it wasn't repulsive. There's a plus.

One of the other servers stopped in after she had left the bars. It is her birthday today (coincidentally, the day is significant to the other post I'm going to write). She was trashed. Completely and utterly hammered. She sat down with us, avoiding the group she arrived with and told us how much she "loves [us] f**kers!" We enjoy her. It was rather amusing to watch her order a steak, bloody rare, have another server cut it into bite size pieces for her. Then she ate it with her fingers. Not attractive, but funny, none-the-less.

I know this post was a little random. Thanks for reading, I just wanted to write something before heading off to bed. Sunday is here! That means sleeping late, going to Dad's for a bit, and then karaoke with DM! Happy day!


At 8:41 AM, CarpeDM thought...

I bet we could make orange pie if we wanted to...just adapt a recipe for key lime pie.

There isn't a watermelon or pineapple pie that I'm aware of either.

Pineapple pie, pineapple pie, pineapple pie. That's kind of fun to say. You could mix it with coconut & have a pina colada pie.

Why am I fascinated with pie now? Hmm.

Well, at least you know he has a house and a job. That makes him somewhat of a winner. Unless, of course, he lives at home with mom & dad and it's their driveway that's now shimmering.