I wrote a recent post about a party from my days at Bugs, the decadent pool hall where I could be found more often than my own home for a period of three years.
One of the characters from Bugs is AJ. I said he deserves his own post and here it goes.
First off, let me describe AJ. AJ is 6 foot 3 inches tall and solid. The boy has light blonde hair and big green eyes. In fact, Bobby from The Chalet kind of reminds me of AJ, they both have extremely large hands. Dana has written about Bobby and his ability to pour water. Watching the water cascade into the clear glass, seeing it drip down the side where it can be cooled by the ice floating, noticing the light dance through the clear liquid, oh wait, this post is about AJ, not water and Bobby's hands. Sorry.
AJ has a young boy's face. With the fact his hair is such a light color, his facial hair doesn't stand out and he shaves maybe once a week. As forbidding as his image first gave off, AJ is a sweet, innocent young boy. He is a guy who it would be fun to cuddle with. Don't get me wrong though, he is not completely innocent, he's just learning how to be more than a child.
AJ is shy. He would enter the pool hall quietly and speak to only those he knew. He never opens conversations with strangers. It seemed unusual for AJ to become one of the Bugs regulars, most of the Crew were open and loud. Most had no problem starting a conversation with a random stranger based on, "You're cute. Come talk to me." I have heard this phrase many a times at Bugs.
I guess AJ entered the group because a friend of his like Michelle. He had gone to high school with this friend and the Crew just accepted AJ.
AJ did end up being teased often by the Crew. As horrible as it sounds, teasing was a way to show affection at Bugs. The more teasing, the more a person was liked by the group. Each one of us had our nicknames and our running jokes. I think it bothered AJ. Actually, I know it bothered AJ.
At the time I knew him, he was starting off on the journey to independence. AJ had just moved out from his dad's place and got an apartment. For the first two months, the Crew were invited over each night after closing to watch movies. We had a wonderful time. Soon, the Crew was no longer invited over, but AJ had problems leaving the pool hall. Because of my late schedule, AJ would check to see if I wanted to go grab a bite to eat at some of the all-night restaurants.
He confided in me one night that he had gotten evicted from his apartment and was too afraid to go home to his dad's. He had been living in his truck for a week. My mom was gone for the week (business trip) and I let him sleep on the pull-out couch for a few nights. He spent most of his time at Bugs, I guess being in a pool hall is better than driving around, looking for a place to just sit and think. He got back on his feet and was homeless for only a couple of weeks. I think he ended up at his friend's house for a few days too.
AJ is deathly afraid of women. That's about the only way I can describe it. Michelle terrified him, she is so forward and blunt. She embarrassed him over and over by talking about her underwear and her sex life with whichever guy she was with at the time. Intentions aside, she scared him. Consciously, I don't think she realized she was doing it on purpose. I do know her well and I know how she likes to control people and I understand, looking back, that she was doing this to be mean and to take over his senses. Some of it was good for him, it opened him up and he was forced to deal with his phobia of women (he's not gay - don't get that here, he was just so timid and awkward around girls).
He told me one night that he wasn't afraid of me. I was unsure what he meant by this. He explained that I didn't scare him because I was his friend, I wasn't someone trying to hurt him and embarrass him.
AJ is a good guy. He's learning and his life has probably taken a different twist since I knew him, but he's a good guy at heart. It is hard to change the inside of a person. Life may throw twists and turns, but deep down, people are usually either good hearted or mean spirited. It's not as black and white as this, I'm just saying that someone who was as good as AJ was back then will probably stay that way, no matter what the outside appearances are. (Side note: I still am in contact with Michelle. She's still as controlling and she plays mind games on men like she did back then. She's not exactly mean-spirited, but her opinions of how men should treat her are still there. I'm not saying I dislike Michelle, but she's not the closest friend I have.)
Even though AJ was such a great guy, he still had his moments that I think he wishes he could take back. These upcoming stories are not to make fun of AJ, but to share some memories of my friend (and they might be a bit funny).
****
AJ's birthday happens to be February 29. That's right, he's a leap year baby. For his fifth birthday, I bought him a Winnie-the-Pooh coloring book and a box of crayons. He spent the entire evening coloring pictures at Bugs and giving them out.
Because he only had five birthdays at that time (he's six now), he would tell us stories of his youth and his current affairs. Each story would end with, "And I was 5." The fun part was you never knew if the story was from now or from his boyhood days.
For example, "I was fishing with my grandpa at the lake. We caught three big walleyes and cleaned them up. Dinner was fabulous that evening. And I was five." We found out later that this had happened only two months before.
I still end some stories with "And I was 5." Just for fun, just to pay homage to an old friend of mine.
****
I mentioned before that AJ was deathly afraid of women. One night at Bugs, this girl came in to hang out. The Crew was picky about who became regulars (I still have no clue how I made it in, I didn't really fit and that's probably why it was so easy for me to just leave the group one fateful March evening). This girl was not one that would ever fit with the group.
Here's what happened before she made her way to AJ. I was standing at the counter, talking to Michelle and Mikey (an irregular regular). This girl walks in, hair in dreadlocks, a fishing hat full of grime and she was wearing a green tank top and camouflage pants. She walks up to this group of people she has never met before and says, "I bought a new mattress." She then looks at me, while putting her hand on my arm, "You know how it is to test out the new springs, heh, heh, heh!"
Michelle and Mikey lost it. They couldn't control the gales of laughter. I stood there, wide eyed and irritated, and politely stated, "If you want a table, you can rent one." I didn't even respond to the mattress conversation and I stepped back from her touch.
Michelle rented the table to this girl. Michelle, Mikey, and I decided to play some darts and headed towards the back of the first room of the pool hall. AJ was playing a game of nine ball on the bar box (7-foot, coin-op table) at the front of the first room. He was near the jukebox.
Our love of music kicked in and Michelle, Mikey, and I each gave AJ a buck to plug into the juke and asked for some good tunes. He was standing there, punching different combinations of numbers and as Jonny Lang started singing, "Rack 'Em Up," the girl came up behind AJ. She leaned in and started touching him.
Now, I've mentioned that I don't like it when strangers touch me. AJ is the same. Except he's also deathly afraid of women.
AJ shrieked. The 6 foot 3 inch man let out a scream of horror because a 5 foot 2 inch girl touched his arm.
Michelle, Mikey, and I had all been in the back, watching AJ as he picked out the songs and noticed the girl before AJ did. One of us should have warned him, but what do you say? Do you yell across the room, "Hey, AJ, there's a girl who loves mattresses creeping up on you?"
When he screamed, she backed off. Michelle, Mikey, and I were laughing so hard, tears were pouring from our eyes. I felt so bad for AJ and still I remembered the jump he made when she touched him. He had about three feet clearance from the floor. He did laugh about it later, once his heart beat made it back to normal.
****
For a man deathly afraid of girls, he picked a strange job. He actually ended up becoming a bouncer (his build gave him the job, no interview needed).
Where did he get the job? At the biggest strip joint in the Twin Cities.
Yes, that's right, a man who is afraid of women decided it would be good to work around naked women all night long.
He eventually became the head bouncer. He told me once, "I don't have to touch the strippers. I only have to kick the men out who get out of control." It makes sense.
AJ told us a story about one of the nights at the strip club.
A man walked in, bleeding and beaten. He wanted to pay money to have women dance in his lap. None of the women would go near him because he was covered in dirt and none of the bouncers would touch him.
AJ had to throw the man out of the club, into the street. He doesn't know how the man had gotten go beaten up, but the man was drunk and causing a scene in a club that does not serve liquor. (No liquor = the girls can strip all the way down)
Once they got the man outside, he kept trying to come back in. They called the police and they arrived. Since the man was so dirty, the police decided that they didn't want him in a squad car and called an ambulance to take him to a local hospital.
When the medics arrived, they didn't want to touch the guy either. They actually put a plastic tarp up in the ambulance and made the man sit on that. The guy was too dirty to be put into a vehicle that carries around people bleeding!
We found the story hilarious. I'm sure there was a little more to it, but it's been years since I've heard it. I remember the final line of the story though.
AJ finished up his tale of bouncing with, "And I was five."
****
One night, the Crew went to dinner after closing the pool hall. There were six of us that evening: Michelle, AJ, Bob, Mouse, AJ's friend (Aron), and myself.
We had been laughing and sharing stories. There was a lull in the conversation and AJ opened his mouth, serious as a heart attack, and said, "Does anyone else condition their manly hairs?"
It was completely out of nowhere. And not the thing to say to this Crew.
Bob, Mouse, Aron, and I all sat stunned and then smiled. Bob lost control of smiling and started to laugh so hard he could barely breathe. When Bob laughed, the world laughed with him. His face would turn bright red and he would start making a sound similar to that of an old Atari game, Asteroids. You know when the space ship scuttled across the screen? It made a high pitch, e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-et sound. That's what Bob's laugh sounded like. This got Mouse and Aron going.
Michelle was sitting there, poised to attack. To embarrass AJ (who was now regretting asking what he felt was a legitimate question), she started the Inquisition.
She asked him everything. She asked, "What type of conditioner do you use?", "What type of motion do you use when you do this?" She just kept going.
I noticed as AJ started to sink in his seat. The 6'3" man seemed as small as an ant.
And yet, I still think back to him sitting there, patiently waiting for an opportunity to ask his "friends" a question about growing up.
****
I guess this entire post is about why I am glad I got out of Bugs before I lost who I was. I can still talk to these people, but I am thankful for the web of friends I have now. I laughed a lot when I was at Bugs. I was known as "Permagrin" and there are happy memories. And then there are memories that when I look back, I see the hurtful things people can do just to feel better about themselves.
Most of the Crew could handle the jabs and realize that the intention wasn't to hurt. Sometimes though, it did. Most of the time it didn't and Michelle was revered for her quick mouth and her strong personality.
AJ was one who didn't just let the jabs run off like water on a duck's back. Maybe that's why he and I were able to have more serious conversations than I ever had with Bob, Michelle, or Susan.
Anyone wondering why I don't call Michelle often may now understand why. She's my friend, but she's not a best friend. She's fun and I can learn some things from her (she does have some good advice in some areas), but she's not someone I NEED in my life.
Well, the funny post turned serious again. I guess that's my style.
2 Comments:
At 10:17 AM, CarpeDM said...
I really love hearing your stories about AJ. I think it is, not so much that I want to make fun of him but just because I remember being that innocent.
I am also glad that you got away from Bugs. The more I hear about these people I also wonder how you fit in with them. You are not the type of person that makes fun of someone.
I can see why AJ would like talking with you, for the same reason I do. Sometimes I do stupid things. And while you may laugh, you would never do anything like Michelle does, you would never try to humiliate me. I don't understand people like that.
At 11:23 PM, Matt said...
Nor do I Father, nor do I. I do love that story, and yes I remember being that innocnent in life. It was nice, sometimes I try to hang on it, however once you have been tainted it is hard to go back. Beth if you ever run into AJ again, if you can let him know something for me, he is not the only one that conditions his manly hairs. When it is the only hair you have on your body, you tend to take care of it......
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